Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Monday, April 21, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #104 (Final Week) - CEELLLLLLEEEEBRRRRAAAATTTTEEEE GOOOOODDD TIMES COME ON!!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
*Effective Immediately*
 
All Missionary services provided by Elder Wheeler will be terminated at the Airport in Dayton, Ohio on Wednesday April 23rd. Any peoples desiring to be at the airport to visit with him when he walks out of the terminal must arrive at the airport promptly at 10:00 pm to be blessed by his presence and be given the opportunity to hug him before his mother...hahaha
 
If you don't wish to be a part of this, or find yourselves without the ability of doing so, please send hugs via the internet, or text message, or Facebook and they will be received with open arms and loving hearts.
 
Those who decide that party pooping is their job and must not do any of the previously stated activities that are given for your profit and learning, will be given a handshake and a "how do you do". That way all will be given the love of the returning servant of the Lord and none will be shunned from the party. Even though they are trying to poop on the party, they will be shown love.
 
 
Signed:  Elder Kelson Wheeler
 
Witness: Sister Dalley - we may kidnap him and not let him leave.... Shultz
Witness: Elder Boddie - I love him with >                     < this much of my heart
Witness: Elder Stevens- I proclaim him dead. and loved.
Witness: Elder Anderson- Beware of pride my boy!
Witness: Zeuge: Sister Breuer- I solid witness that Elder Wheeler is right! (She is German)
Witness: Elder Kaititi from KIRIBATI Kiritimati Island. Elder Wheeler is my awesome Zone Leader in the Codorva area I have exchanged  and pair up with him one time in my area and I learned a lot from him. I appreciate him.
 
 
As this time comes upon me, I want you all to know that I know that Jesus is the Christ, that He did die and that He lives today!  I know that all things are possible because of Him and that when the time comes I will be able to stand before him and kneel at his feet thanking him for His service, sacrifice and His Love. I know that I have tried to serve Him with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I look forward to keeping my blog going, but with a different source of ideas for my material!
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler (Last Time)
 
p.s Mother!!! Please fix my Typos for the last time!!! :)

Monday, April 14, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #103 - Money don't grow on trees, I wish it did though!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

For everyone's information, today my typing is terrible so if there are any mistakes that my mother does not catch, it is OK, you can forgive her and realize that she is dealing with a crazy person's e-mail writing that needs some help in the typing skills.

It has been a crazy week; so we found out at the beginning of the week that our investigator with a baptismal date that is going to be baptized, doesn't live in our area. She lives in a different zone all together, and because of this we are no longer teaching her and she is no longer going to be baptized by us... ;(  This is okay, though, because she is still getting baptized. This is all that matters, and besides she is having a potluck with all sorts of people there. It will end up being the biggest baptism ever, because there will be 3 wards represented there. It is going to be crazy go nutz! With that being said, we will not be blessed to see a baptism this month, because we have been unable to help people keep their appointments. :(  But since I like to look at the bright side, here is the good news. Our zone, which was hurting the past few months with baptisms and motivation has stepped it up like hardcore. We will be seeing by the end of the month 9 or 10 baptisms which is fantastic! This is going to break the high water mark in the Cordova zone and win them a nice pancake breakfast from President Lewis!!! Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend this breakfast, but I will celebrate from afar. 

I want you to imagine yourself in Downtown Sacramento, if you don't know what it looks like, imagine yourself in any downtown setting... Thank you for your participation, if you are not participating, shame on you. I hope that you just find yourself crying because you are not being a team player and having fun like the rest of us... :P 

Now imagine downtown anywhere, there are cars running in every which direction, there are pedestrians running out into the street, cars skidding to a stop, and the loud horns of very angry drivers blaring in the ears of the silent imaginer... can you picture this? If not, let me know, because I will put more detail in next week. Amid this crazy town life of always being on the go, there are two wonderful missionaries, who when they see people, are just dying to show people the truth.

Now in your imaginary world, please place this evil menace who just does his job day in and day out, and causes lots of headache and grief for those who are trying to work in downtown. This evil menace goes by the title of "Meter Maid!!" Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnn... (Que The lighting)...(Where is my lighting...)  *CRACK, BOOM, FLASHING LIGHTS!!!*

Meter Maid has been causing havoc all over town. Telling people that they stink at parking and that they should pay their ridiculous fees. And while they tell people that they should be better at parking, they just laugh and mock them because they are enjoying making life miserable for those who are just trying to get the word out... Then Meter Maid spotted these two nice, adorable, good loving, always laughing, happy missionaries, who wouldn't break any rules if they were forced to. Then he zeroed in on his new target... ;( 

The unsuspecting missionaries left their car, thinking that on Saturdays there is free parking, trying to preach the good word, and Meter Maid comes up to their vehicle. 

"OH would you look at that, their meter is expired...hum, I wonder what we should do now... I know, how about we give them a nice fine, because this sign only says that Sundays are free...MWAHHHH!!!!"

When the two missionaries return they are happy and go lucky, when they looked at the front of their car windshield, it turned into that scene from the Lord of the Rings when Frodo screams out for Gandolf when he dies fighting the Balrog.  This was the reaction of these two unsuspecting missionaries... It was a sad day indeed. Now Elder Wheeler has to pay a $42.50 ticket to the state of California because his parking skills stink... SAD DAY!!! 

There are a lot of things going on, but it is just the usual missionary work. I don't know what to tell you other than.. We are going to break high water this month and you better believe it is going to be awesome!!!

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

p.s. MOM!!! I love you TYPOS!!! I think I did pretty good today!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #102 - Repentance is Real!!! Forgiveness is Divine!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
Happy Monday everyone! I am hoping that you are having a great day and that all of your dreams are coming true. I also hope that some of you have read the New Testament and remember when the Lord told his disciples that they should forgive 70 x 7, which in turn means that no matter how many time Elder Wheeler wrongs you or makes you worry for his health and safety that you forgive him every time, because the Lord has already done that. What I am really trying to say is that if there is anyone who has hard feelings about the April Fools joke I may have played on the whole world last week, if you have a hard time forgiving, remember this acronym WWJD...and then apply this like you would the shampoo in the shower. Rinse, Lather, Repeat!
 
Now that you all love me again and don't want to rip my head off or make me wish that I was stuck in a wheelchair covered in tiny pins and needles being endlessly tormented by a loud and obnoxious parakeet that can only say "I wish I was not stuck in a wheelchair" and having someone play DDR in front of me, I guess I can now move on to the real reason why you tune in every week and listen to my story of bravery and daring and dashing stunts.
 
We have moved from a small town home in the nice pleasant neighborhood of suburbia and have been introduced to the lovely land of Downtown Sacramento. I just love living downtown; it is sooooo cool, there are lots of crazy people as well as people who are up at all hours of the night laughing and giggling and farting... I guess life in the fast lane is the way it goes. OH YEAH!!!!
 
We are going to be blessed to see an investigator baptized on the 19th of April and confirmed on the 20th. The missionaries having been working with her for almost 2 years now... It is totally wicked!! The time has finally come for her to get baptized and I get to be a part of it. She came and watched conference on Saturday and afterward she was talking about going on a mission and the possibility of having a companion that is as crazy as I am....I guess that only the special missionaries get to have crazy loons as their companions. It was just super cool, being able to see that all this hard work that we have been putting into this work is coming to a glorious close.
 
In the news of how our zone is doing, we have set a goal of baptizing 15 people in the month of April, and we are well on our way to completing that goal. We have 7 people who have accepted baptismal dates and are keeping their commitments, and we have 4 other people who have committed to be baptized this month. It is awesome. We are seeing miracles every day, and all we did was fast and pray, and then work our butts off to see the success of the Lord take place right before our eyes. This work is hastening, and I encourage all those who are within the sound of my typing fingers to take heed and remember this day.  This is a day that will be forever remembered because we got to be a part of the most amazing time in the history of the world compared to the parting of the Red Sea and the Birth of Christ. This time is the time that the Lord is gathering his elect from the four corners of the earth so that all may know to whom they look for salvation. The One and Only, Jesus Christ, The Son of God. Only under his name may salvation be brought to anyone, anything or anywhatever. I testify that now is the time for members and missionaries to work together, as well as members to work with their friends and family. Now is the time that the Gospel will penetrate the very heart of anyone who is willing to allow a sliver of hope in Christ to sink into their soul. Now is the time, DON'T MISS IT!!!
 
I love you,

Elder Wheeler
 
P.s. Mother I know that deep down you have some hidden resentments towards me, please let those go and fix my Typos!!! LOVE YA!!!

Monday, March 31, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #101 - Extensions!!! I love this Work!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!

I have BIG NEWS!!! This is so awesome and only happens once in a blue moon anymore. I only have a few lines to write because my time is short, but I have taken the chance of asking my Mission President a very big question.  Actually it is more of a request, but I have asked him if he would allow me to have an extension to my mission. Maybe a transfer or two...Now I did this without consulting my family first, because I didn't know if it would actually happen. So I asked him for this extension, and after much prayer he has pulled some strings and I will be staying in the Sacramento California Mission until June when he goes home as well!!! 

WAHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is awesome! I never thought I would ask for an extension, but I did and look at what happened. I have been given a chance to keep spreading the word. I have been blessed with an opportunity to share the Gospel for another 6 weeks!!! My official release date has been changed to June 4th!!!! My Mother should be receiving a Letter in the Mail from the mission President shortly telling her of the change in date and time. I am soooo excited for this and I hope you are equally as excited...

Anyway in the work sector, we are seeing a great amount of success and it is moving along smoothly. As a zone we set a goal to baptize 15 people in the month of April. This is huge, but we are all confident and feel good about this goal. We have people to back it up and the zone is excited to hit this goal. We are all working on being more accountable to the goals that we have set and by doing so we will be blessed to see many miracles in the work. 

Speaking of miracles, this past week we found this investigator who is totally solid, and the only reason we found him is because we kept going back to see this apartment that had many potential investigators in it. Every time we went there was a different person we were looking for, because they showed a brief amount of interest and set up a return appointment. However, this new guy actually asked us when we were coming back to follow up on his reading and how he could learn more!!! The work is moving quickly and there isn't enough time to make it all work... 9 weeks and counting!!!

I have to go, but I love you all and appreciate all of the prayers in my behalf.

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

P.s. Please stop showing an angry face and help me with my TYPOS!!!!

Mom's Note:  An hour and a half after I got his email, I received the following video from a member in California.

video

Monday, March 24, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #100 - When will this meeting end?

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
From the Cordova Zone in the Sacramento Mission in California, This is the 100th annual* General e-mail of The Missionary service of Elder Wheeler for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Speakers selected from the General Thoughts and Authorities of the Brain of Elder Wheeler. With Music by the Mormon Tabernacle thought process. Members and friends of Elder Wheeler have come from all over the world to read his e-mail and enjoy a quick moment of joy and happiness. Elder Wheeler, 1st counselor in the presidency of his brain will conduct this session.
 
Welcome, my brothers and Sisters to the 100th annual* General E-mail. It is good to be with you this day and share this beautiful weather with all of those whom we call our friends and family. We would like to recognize all those who are reading from smart phones, dinosaur computers, appleTV, and satellite broadcasts. Elder Wheeler will preside over this session. We will be pleased to hear from our first and only speaker, Elder Wheeler....Elder Wheeler
 
My Brothers and Sisters, welcome to this e-mail. I am reminded of a time when I was a zone leader in the Cordova zone, in the American River Branch. Serving as a zone leader is hard work; it was a long week for me as we had 3 surprise meetings between the Mission and the Stake that seemed to come up at every turn. As we scurried to and fro from meeting to meeting, trying our best to make sure that we were prepared for everything that came our way, we found ourselves with a lack of time to go out and teach people. It was hard work. There were needs and desires of others that needed to be fulfilled so that they could be successful in their callings as missionaries, members, and other leaders. As we made every attempt to find out the best way to help others, we found ourselves in a jam to find people to teach and how to teach the number of lessons that we had committed ourselves to teach. It was hard; there were times when we thought that we would not be able to achieve any of our goals, but we remembered that we set our goals with faith and drive to achieve them. I am glad to say that we were able to come close and juggle our schedule around to see a miracle this past week. 

The miracle came in the form of a guy from Taiwan. I will withhold his name, but he is super awesome! We met him last Sunday as we were trying to find former investigators in this apartment complex. We knocked on this nice guy's apartment and he told us, "Sorry man, there isn't a person by that name here." As we kept talking to him we were impressed to ask to come in and share a quick message with him. We did exactly as prompted, but it didn't turn out quite as we thought it would.  We left thinking that things probably wouldn't go anywhere, but then on Tuesday, in between all of these meetings, we received a text from this nice guy from Taiwan saying that he couldn't make it to the activity that evening. We were shocked, because he text us, without us really trying to text him.  We were so excited, that we invited him to tour the Temple with us on Saturday. He said that would be awesome! and that he would love to!!! It was sooooo cool. 

Throughout the week we were so excited for the Saturday meeting, and we would text him to remind him and he would show his equal amounts of excitement.  When the Tour happened, he talked about how he was so filled with peace and serenity and how he really liked it. He doesn't have a good Christian background, but he was able to feel that God was there and Loved him. He is now coming to our Family Home Evening tonight and things are going crazy awesome here!!! Keep up the prayers my beloved Brothers and Sisters and keep the faith.  Don't lose faith when things get hard, or you have roadblocks that just come up at random times. you can make it work, just move forward with faith and pray often!!! The Great God of Love that we are blessed with knows all of your worries and cares, and can take those burdens from you, but only if you allow him to. Reach out your hand to him that is mighty to save and comfort.  Never fear. Doubt your doubts before you doubt your Faith.
 
This has been the 100th annual* General e-mail of The Missionary service of Elder Wheeler for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
 
Take care and Love ya!!! Tune into General Conference on the first week of April for the real deal and hearing from a Prophet of the Lord.
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
P.s. mom Typos Please!!!

* Actually weekly, but annual sounds better.  

Monday, March 17, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #99 - CATCH THAT LEPRECHAUN!!!, HE STOLE MY WALLET!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

It is annual find a Leprechaun and make him give you all his money, and then get drunk and stay conscious for as long as you can DAY!!!! I love this day of the year.  The reason you may ask?  Well I love it because everyone wears my color all day and if you don't wear my color you get pinched hardcore....Now if you ask Zac Reed what happens on this day, I don't know if he remembers that one March 17th when Elder Wheeler was not wearing green, he pinched me rather hard in the back, and I was a poor sport about it...So I turned around and clocked him in the chest... well lets just say that we stopped being friends for the whole span of health class and then we made up and are friends still...I hope xD

I also love this day because it falls on a P-day which means I get to write a cool letter home about how the work is going and I can do it in Green Writing and get away with it!!! Mwahh!!!!!! Take that everyone, now you will have an eternal headache as you read this e-mail!!!!!

This past week has been pretty cool, my companion Elder Anderson, is from the Matrix and he has escaped from the said Matrix, but he is super funny. We laugh and joke all day; he is very humble and open to learn all sorts of things that will help him be a better missionary. Not only that, but he is helping me to stay focused by making sure we are always working, planning, looking forward to the future and doing what is best for the area, mission and zone. It is pretty legit. I think that if I could have had anyone else I would have said forget it!!! This Elder is my companion!!! :P We work very well together, I need to work on letting him talk more, but I think that once he gets over the initial shock of doing YSA work instead of Family ward work, he will be right as rain and we will be a force to be reckoned with...Although we already are one of those, it shows my humility... We made a breakthrough in missionary technology this past week. We learned that if you start off the conversation when you contact people with "would you like a card" people just say NO, but if you ask them a question about themselves, like "do you believe in God", or about something that they are doing, it removes the awkward and replaces it with great opportunities to share. We have also learned that if we talk to these people as if they are long lost friends, then they are more receptive to our message...but it isn't like we are faking it though, we did meet a long time ago in the Pre-existence far away. I guess we are long lost friends!

I have a story I would like to share with you, and I hope you enjoy your headache and migraine from this obnoxious color that I have chosen to write in... ow, my head is starting to hurt too

We were walking into the store today, just trying to buy the usual, you know Birthday cards, mouthwash (for when I say bad words), Altoids, hand sanitizer,  and maybe the occasional nick knack that you just so happen to walk into a store not realizing you are going to buy it until you have it in your hands and checking out before you realize you really don't need it and are now wasting like 4 dollars on something you will never use again. Yeah it was a normal P-day, well except for this minor detail, it is Saint Patrick's day, which means there are Leprechauns out running around leading people to pots of Gold and making missionaries rich!!! While I was shopping I was looking all around for this little small guy dressed in all green and smoking a small pipe, I wanted to be a millionaire from all of the gold I would find at the end of his rainbow. I used my Private Investigator skills to find his rainbow, so when I walked in to Target, I went right for the candy isle, because everyone knows that between the Skittles and the Starburst section in every grocery store there is a small hidden door to the Fairytale land of Delicious Colors!! And if you can make it to that door, when a Leprechaun enters, you can follow right behind him and gain entrance into this new found place of amazingly delicious and colorfully crazy treats that will make you more wealthy than Billy Maze and infomercials. As I turned the corner, there he was.  My short little ticket into the Fairytale land of Delicious Colors. I ran as fast as I could, but because of the dramatized need for a good story, just imagine me running towards the door like Megan Fox in the transformers movie, just with more clothes on and much more dramatic because I am a missionary with great acting skills ;) Finally after about 5 mins of moving in slow motion and having all of the people in the Target isles just looking at me with puzzled amazement and question marks floating above their heads because they had no idea why I was purposefully running in slow motion to move 12 inches to the imaginary door that only I could see, because Fairytale land can only be beheld by believers in crazy stuff, I arrived at this door and with a swing of my hips and a short chant of "Leprechaun skadoo we can too!!!" I jumped into the door to the land of my dreams. When I arrived inside, I had to move quickly.  My 5 min slow-mo scene took up too much time and the foot prints that the Leprechaun had left were fading...I had little to no time to look around and enjoy this childhood dream now fulfilled after 20 long years of coming to this point and missing it because of my slow-mo time... (I finally got my slow-mo time to about 5 min so that the door wouldn't close on me), I started running running running like a constipated weiner dog, and I caught up to the Leprechaun, I finally did it!!! I was soo excited, I don't think I had ever done a victory dance quite like that one... I think it lasted longer than the 5 min that I slow-moed it to the door. Finally when it was done the Leprechaun asked me a small but very direct question...

"What do you want?" - with a puzzling face of, I can't believe I just watched that pathetic dance and have to now wait for you to tell me how I can get you to let me go-

"I forgot what I had come for, I remembered the stories of Gold and candy and riches, but I didn't think he would actually ask me what I wanted, I thought he would just give it to me, you know like a ceremony---
*enter dream space*

Walking down the isle of a palace with people bowing down to the one who caught the king leprechaun and then as I walk down the red carpet the leprechaun has two of the most beautiful leprechauns, girls that is, pull back the big red curtains that hide his treasure, then I jump into the big pile and start to swim through my spoils...

*exiting dream space*

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!" Exclaimed the Leprechaun as he watch me looking off in the distance with a face of wonder and awe. 

"Your pot of Gold...Duh!!!" 
in a very less dramatic way he hands me this kettle that would have water in it for brewing tea, then he says "look inside" and as I look I find myself looking into an empty pot with a bunch of paper with the letters AU written all over it.  

Please excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep...

*Elevator music playing and all you hear are loud sobs of loneliness and deep disappointment.*

I left that land with a heavy heart, not knowing what I was going to do with the rest of my life. My longest life goal and ambition had come to a very less dramatic and happy ending, and now I was left with this terribly stupid kettle, not even a pot, of paper with the element symbol of Gold on it and a pack of Skittles, I can still taste the Rainbow. I cried the whole way to the checkout, when as I reached back to pull out my wallet to pay for of all the useless stuff I just bought I came to the most horrendous truth... THAT LEPRECHAUN STOLE MY WALLET!!! Now I have to wait 365 more days to go back to that place a retrieve what was stolen.... I now have a new mission on St. Patrick's day, find that Leprechaun and Read him in Exodus the 8th commandment... THOU SHALT NOT STEAL!!!! ugh, well I guess I learned my lesson. Never trust a leprechaun with money or gold.

Have a wonderful St. Patties day!!!!

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

p.s. Mom, please don't change the text coloring, and Please correct my typos!!!! Love ya!!!

Editor's (Mom's) Note:  Sorry about any missed typos in the above nonsense.  My eyes could only take so much.  Enjoy! 

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week # 98 - No Good Deed happens without a visit from the Police! ;)

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

You are not going to believe what happened this week!! It was just soooo...I mean if you were to hear what was going on, you wouldn't even believe me...There was this...Oh my this is the best story ever!!!!

When it comes to being a missionary there are a lot of things that you need to factor in to how you change and become a better person. This past week I have had some time to reflect on how much I have changed, and also on some things that need to change because it will end up with me not being who I need to be.  There are some character traits that seem to wiggle their way out of me when things get tough or I want to just quit, or maybe I am feeling lazy. It is called Selfishness. I figured this out this morning, when I didn't want get out of bed and I asked Elder Sabin some very stupid questions to try and hint to him that I wanted him to get up and shower first so that I could sleep a little longer. We were getting up earlier, so sleeping in would be OK. This was a minor instance where things of this kind happened, but I have learned that I like to try and use inception with a lot of things I do. I try and implant my ideas into others' minds so that they do what I want.  But as I was reading the scriptures, I am supposed to help people come to the conclusion I want them to, through gentleness, meekness, long suffering, kindness and love unfeigned...Which is everything other than inception. D'oh!!! I also realized that it was sneaking its way into my missionary work, which is where I think I was happy, but not as happy as I could be. I have made a new resolution that I will change my way of thinking, and trying to help people think the way I think through these methods...or in short hand I am working on being more Christ-like...Hum...Go figure!!!  If you find yourself falling into this cycle of trying to help others see your point of view or do what you want them to through unrighteous ways, repent now, change who you are and become someone that people not only rely on, but trust when you ask them to do something, just as the Savior would. 

Now on to the story that you are probably anticipating because I made a 3 line waste of space talking about what a great this story is going to be and then I ADD'ed to a lesson learned in the mission field.

Thursday, March 6, 2014, a day that will forever live in tragedy...Or maybe just a nice memory that will find its way into my subconscious and I will dream about it some other time when I am not thinking about this day. It was a pleasant day, there were a few rain drops far away in the sky, falling on the horizon, probably a few more cars than rain drops on the road, and a very small amount of time allotted to the missionaries for travel and meetings. 

*Who remembers the old blues brothers movies...you remember when they would be driving and the camera would be in the backseat and you would see their heads bobbing to the music and then as soon as something was about to happen you would have the camera pan over to the front of the cab, so you could see the reactions of the actors. 

This very thing happened, but it wasn't actors, this was real life.  There were missionaries in the front seat and we were jamming out to some nice piano music. We were driving at a nice slow pace of 7.347 miles per hour when we came to the back of a line of cars behind a green light. Now when it comes to basic Physics and Philosophy everyone knows that Green means lay on the gas and hope you don't hit anyone. but it seems that these people at the front of the line felt that green meant, "I might want to wait a little longer", or maybe we should just chill here. The Camera pans to the green light and there is no change...???

As we pan back to our delinquent missionaries, the sunglasses are pulled off ever so slowly, like the guy from CSI: Miami and he looks at his companion... "There is trouble afoot!!!" he quickly makes a Golfer Niner Niner Alpha Omega 17 maneuver, that is only seen in highly trained and skilled drag races that are authorized by those who have not been black listed. Once the car is parked in a nice place in a parking lot, the missionaries open up their shirts to reveal the tights that bear the mark of superhero!! "W" man and "S" man!!!  When they came upon the scene, there was a damsel in distress.  She was stuck in the intersection being trapped by the Evil Doctor Metal Box. This metal box had four wheels and just didn't want to move. He was a nasty, ruthless, toothless, gas eater like never seen before. But he was no match for these two servants of the Lord because as they pushed and pulled they were able to move this damsel from her place in the intersection and place her safely in a parking lot. However, this evil doer had a minion who just wouldn't let this lady go, he was a nice fellow, but his desire was to occupy this lady's time and make her feel more uneasy about what the Evil Doctor Metal Box had done to her. 

Everything was fine with the situation, the jailer/tow truck had already been called and we were waiting for this lady to be delivered to the car repair shop when the minion felt it necessary to flag down the 2 most rootin, tootin, best shot in the west bubblegum drivers in the wild east Sacramento! Little did he know that these two officers of the Law would ruin his plans and cause him to be given the boot to the next place out of town.! It was very nice for these two gentleman to ask our enemy to step off and leave this nice lady alone. When the Jailer came to take the Evil Doctor Metal Box away, the two officers gave us the signal and we were off to save the day in another place in the land! Once again the world has been saved by the missionmormonaries!!! it only took 2 hours out of our day, noooo big deal. It could have been less if that minion hadn't stuck around for like ever... ;( 

It was pretty awesome, some members drove by and got some pics of us in action, but I was not pictured for I was on the wrong side of Doctor Metal Box. I will be an unknown hero and will forever go down in history as a good man!

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

p.s. mom!! Typos!!!

Monday, March 3, 2014

New Pictures From Kelson

For those of you who were confused about the gorilla/banana story in Week #95, here are the pictures:



Some other enjoyable pics that I just received...












Letter From Kelson - Week # 97 - A-....Oooo Shiny,D-......Squirrel!!, D

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
Have I told you that I may suffer from a minor case of the life destroying, grade killing, maybe even friendship ending addiction that brings many heart aches and pains to the life of those affected by it called...
 
ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER!!!!!!!!  or ....
 
This past week was pretty good, we were able to see the baptism of a one Melissa G., who is pretty freakin' sweet if you ask everyone in the world. I don't know if she would approve of me saying this, but I want to congratulate her on her baptism and handling that baptismal font water LIKE A BOSS!!! She has a little fear of being pushed/submerged under water by other people and with baptism that is a very necessary requirement, being completely submerged in the water by someone holding the authority from God to do so. She sucked it up, she said "I am doing this thing! LEEEERRRROOOOOYYYYYY JEEENNNNKKKIIINSSS!!!" (all in her mind of course) and she went down into the water and came straight away out of the water as Jesus did and she was baptized into the Kingdom of God on the earth today! It was super awesome, and I think that she felt it too, because she was really glowing afterward. She was then confirmed a member of the church on Sunday and now she is a full-fledged member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, with all it's rights and privileges, plus callings and helping keep the missionaries fed each day. Isn't this the most wonderful blessings that could come!!! xD
 
......ADD
 
The reason I tell you about this possible case of ADD is because I must say that this past week was one of the hardest to plan. Now I want you to imagine, a classroom full of kids, then imagine their desks are made out of that foam that you find in those tumble gyms, and then their chairs are made of silly putty that farts when you sit on it just right, and then on the inside of the desks are just bags and bags of sour patch kids that never seem to run out. Then on top of all of this I want you to understand that these kids don't get tummy aches, because these sour patch kids have been genetically altered to give them all the nutrients they need and they will never have to eat anything else again, and they will always enjoy them. Now with this picture securely fastened into your cerebral cortex and knocking around inside your noggin, I want you to try and imagine these kids trying to plan what they are going to do the next day. And by plan I mean make appointments, talk about areas they will be in, fulfill assignments received from the Branch Council and so forth.
 
* We interrupt this e-mail with a special report from Rancho Cordova*
 
-Kelly
Thanks Tom,
There is rioting in the streets; kids are running crazy. It seems these kids are on an eternal sugar rush that will not quit because of the new NutriSour Sour Patch kids that have been distributed to every kid in the Sacramento valley. There are parents crying on the sidewalk, begging their children to calm down and behave, but it seems that all they can do is watch in horror as they are beaten by their children with their foamy desks and making inappropriate fart sounds with their chairs.
 
We talked with one of the parents of these delinquent kids and he told us his whole story.
 
-Susan-
 I don't know what has come over my poor baby, she was so good yesterday and because she was, I went out and bought her some NutriSour Sour Patch Kids. I always want to reward my little girl and give her the things that she wants, but I didn't realize that she would turn into this gummy monster who just seems to be bouncing off the walls causing the living room to collapse around her.  It almost seems like this candy is so good that it gives our children super strength and they are able to withstand anything. I know I shot my daughter with enough tranquilizers to level 4 giraffe's, 3 camels, and a moose! She is still going crazy!...*Sobs*
 
Thank you Susan,
As you can see there is no end to the horror that is still to come from this new breakthrough in candy technology. What is this world coming to Tom, and what will we do next? Back to you.
 
-Tom
There you have it folks; Straight from the streets of Rancho Cordova, We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
 
*Sorry for the interruption, please try our new flavors of NutriSour Sour Patch Kids : Razzlematazzle Berry and Super Fly!
 
Our plans this week were pretty crazy and I am glad I was able to get that off my chest. Sometimes I wonder if we get anything done, but Elder Sabin and I have been doing better each day as we try and try again.
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
p.s. Mother Thanks for all that you do! TYPOS PLEASE!!!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #96 - Families are Forever, and Friends last that Long too!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!

Have I told you how wonderful my mission is??? I think it is really great! I love every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every transfer, of every quarter, of every bi-annual, of every tri-quarter annual, of every annual, of every 2 annual moment!!!! I just LOVE IT SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!

Hola - Sister Dalley

My keyboard has been jacked and hacked and I now have an interruption in my thought process and e-mail... This is where a face and palm become best friends and meet each other often as life continues on in motion.

I wanted to tell you of the most amazing experiences I have been having this past week as I have seen some of the fruits of my hard labors, and the Lord has shown me the tender mercies of His hand. This past week I had the opportunity to have 2 families from past areas come and visit for an hour or so and share a meal with me. One of them was a family from my second area; they are totally awesome! This same family has been very actively writing me and also meeting me in my areas for a meal and some quality time...mainly around my birthday and now. As I was able to share this meal and talk with them about how life is going and the things that are happening in their lives and how they have been affected by the Gospel, I began to think about how lucky I was to be called to serve here in the California Sacramento mission and what a great family to be friends with. They make me feel welcome, they have funny sayings and funny jokes, as well as their constant ability to make me smile. I am grateful that they are in my life now, and that the Lord has helped me to become a part of their family. This was on Monday afternoon that I saw them.  Then on Saturday another family, different from the one before, came up from Stockton to visit with my companion and myself and Elder Badger and his companion. It was fun.  I don't know if you remember Arturo G. from my letters about Stockton, but it was him. Now this guy is my Stockton Miracle!!! As I think back on my time in Stockton, it was really hard.  I was training, there was a new area and new people, the work wasn't progressing because we were having a hard time finding people who were solid enough to come to church. We also were dealing with some member drama that had directly affected us as missionaries and so in the midst of all this commotion I was a little bit overwhelmed and had sometimes when I would wonder if I was doing the work in the most effective and proper way. There was a lot of self-reflection, it was hard. But then we found Arturo, he was a golden nugget. He had been prepared for a long time and his life had just so happened to align with ours as to make it so that we can become acquainted and now eternal friends! Well, this miracle of Stockton brought his whole family, whom I have not seen for nearing 8 months, up to Sacramento to visit with us and share this most amazing meal. When I saw them outside the church building when we arrived I found such joy and happiness rush through my body that I couldn't help but want to spend all day with them and catch up! I can't do that because I am a missionary still, but the thought and feeling did sweep through my system.  I love this family like they are my own family in Ohio.  I just love these people and once again as I look at them and the joy the Gospel has brought to their lives I found myself just crying on the inside for the happiness that God has brought to my life because He has called me to be a missionary in the Sacramento mission. I love this work, I don't think I would ever be able to know any of these people if I had not decided to forget myself and turn to the Lord for his help in the work of salvation. Every day I think about the blessings of the gospel and how I want to keep sharing it. 

I desire for all of my readers to try and share the gospel in any way this week. Whether it is through your words or a card that you give away. Bring more people to the Son of God to be changed by his love and know of his desire to forgive. I love you and hope that this week will be the most amazing week you have and that your weeks will continue to get better.

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

p.s. Mom!!! TYPOS!!! Thanks I think I should start paying you, but you don't get any back pay. Love ya

Monday, February 17, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week # 95 - King Kong vs. Peanut Butter Jelly Time vs. The Member Missionary!!!!

Editor's (Mom's) Note:  Sorry this was so late coming out.  I had to make sense of what he was saying so you'd be able to understand it.  I think he was a little distracted when writing it.  

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

It is soooooooooo Sunny and warm here in Sacramento, Geez I think I may just have to soak it all up. I mean, just look outside and take it all in, there are nice warm rays of sunlight beaming onto my uncovered arms as I am wearing a short sleeved shirt. The rain has parted and there is a nice median temperature of 68 degrees or so, and on top of all that I am able to drive safely and securely because the roads are clear of any type of water that would cause driving to be more difficult. I don't think anyone could ever be jealous of me when the weather is just soooooooo Wonderful! 

It has been another great week for missionary work everywhere! I think that there is a definite hastening of the Lord's work, and if you are not a part of it, it stinks to be you because this is the most legit time to be a missionary. People are ready to hear the gospel.  They have been prepared and are seeking the truth wherever they can find it. Luckily for us we have the truth so it makes it easy for us to say... "hey, over here!!!" It works too. We are teaching a lot of solid people who are willing and wanting to be baptized, plus they are willing to put in the effort to keep commitments! Thank you God for hastening the work, it makes finding much easier, but that doesn't mean we don't need help. There are very few of those contacts that walk up to you, or you to them, and they say something around the lines of... "I think you are really cool, and the things you do are awesome, why do you do it? I want to be like you" This is what we call a golden contact and they tend to keep the commitments and become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. These come about as often as my brothers take a break from League of Legends, which if any of you know my brothers it is not often enough. But that doesn't mean that we wait for those Golden Questions, we go out and make our success. I call it Planned Happenstance, instead of mere coincidence. 

We can plan our success and help other come to know of the happiness that can come through abiding by the precepts contained within the scriptures. We just need to show others what the Gospel does for us.  For instance, when you go to work in the morning, are you happy or sad?  If you are sad and tired someone might think you need a coffee to wake you up. Then when they ask you about why you don't drink coffee, do you respond, "Well my church tells me no" or do you respond, "I do it because it makes me happy, I know that God will bless me for keeping this commandment" (Molly Mormon response) or "I don't drink it because I don't see a reason to, but my church also advises against it."  If either of those last two were your response, you are doing a great job at sharing the gospel, but your face needs to be in it too...so don't be sad, be GLAD!! Then after these statements two things could happen, you co-worker will say "oh, ok" or, "What, ok, please explain because I don't see why not"...BAM!!! Perfect lead in to sharing your testimony about the church. If you also want to know a cheater way to explain stuff like that, just say "Hey, I have these two friends, that are way nice, like super nice if you ask me, but anyway they just love to answer the weird question that people have about our church, would you be down to coming to dinner at my house sometime and then quizzing them on the answers to those questions?, I know those guys would be totally stoked to have someone ask them questions?"... Gospel sharing done, now the missionaries can do the work. Your friend will come over because you are offering free food, and then the missionaries will do their job. And if things go in the way of "I'm not interested guys" then they don't like the missionaries and not you, because you gave them a free meal, who is going to hate you after that. And the missionaries don't care because they will be transferred soon, so it doesn't bother them at all. You would be surprised at how many people will take you up on the offer to come have dinner with you. But don't be creepy about it, because then your friends will not like you or the missionaries. If they say "No" still be their friend it is ok, we don't kick you out of the church because you have friends who aren't members, if they did, I would have been kicked out long ago. 

Missionary Work in a nut shell... 

I want to tell you of the most comical experience I had this past week and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did. 

Missionary Work in YSA (Young Single Adult units) is super fun, because we get to go on to the Sacramento State University campus and just talk to all sorts of people. We talk to the activists, we talk to the jocks, we talk to those who seem overly infatuated with the grain of the sidewalk that they never looked anywhere else. As we were talking to everyone, there was a nice man who came up to us, but he had some bad news, he was wearing a badge and had a stern message that we were probably not supposed to be proselyting on the campus without special permission/paperwork because we might be impeding someone else's freedom of religion. Anyway, after we finished talking to him, we decided to search out the truth behind this and make sure we were in line talking to these people with all the correct permission. It was like looking for leprechauns without a rainbow, we went one place and they told us to go to another place, and then we went to that other place and they told us something different. We finally found out that we don't need permission from anyone, we just need to be dignified and nice, and accept when people tell us no. Which means keep doing what I was already doing. YAY!!! But what is the comical part of this whole thing you may ask?, I am about to explain.  

While going on this wild goose chase, My companion and I find some very interesting things on this campus of higher education and learning. There he stood, 35 stories tall, I thought I was looking into the eye of the Tiger (do do dooo doo dood oddoood, sorry started singing the song), he was massive, his fur was dark as the evening sky, and fluffy like a mid summer cloud. His hands engulfed great multitudes of people at once and made them look like the ants that the sidewalk dwellers where staring at, his mouth was as great as many mountains and his saliva made the land of many waters look like a kids blow up pool. I stared deep into his soul and I asked one simple question... "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?" At that moment there was a scream and a flash of yellow and the craziest looking creature came running across my view. He was Yellow and long, and he ran super fast, as if he was running from the creature that I had been standing in front of staring down. I couldn't understand exactly what he was saying, but it was catchy and fun, with a few side to side dance moves and the continuous mentioning of America's favorite lunch time sandwich, the Peanut Butter and Jelly. The first monster than grabbed this yellow man from off of the ground and began to eat him alive...I saw some really horrific things, that I never want to see again, I don't think I will ever be able to eat a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich again, it was so bad. There was sooooooooo much yellow stuff oozing out of this guy's body that I thought he might be a banana, but I was so traumatized that I couldn't put a name on his fruit type. After this horrific scene and the loss of my companion's lunch we were able to take a picture with these two fine gentleman and I will send it next week. I have forgotten my camera today. 

Have a wonderful week full of sunshiny days and warm weather!!! 

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

p.s. mother I love you sooooooooooooo Much, but I will love you more if you correct my TYPOS!!!!! ;)

Monday, February 10, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week # 94 - HAPPY NO LOVE TO MISSIONARY DAY!!! ;(

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
I want to just say that we have had an answer to an area fast! It has been raining all week and it is great!! YAY for cars! I am loving this whole Zone Leader thing, It makes staying dry so much easier. Last year I was on a bike when it was raining and it wasn't daisies and sunshine, but it was pretty fun. I must say, though, I feel for those missionaries that have to ride their bikes in this weather. It isn't easy to be motivated to go out and ride around your area while you are soaking wet and trying to share the gospel. They are real troopers and I think that every missionary that rides in the rain for at least one whole day on his mission should be given a plaque and a candy bar so that they know that we appreciate their sacrifice for the kingdom of heaven. If we can't afford the candy bar, we will send them a colored picture from my cousin's 7 year old...They are pretty nice!
 
We have been well blessed this past week, we now have 2 people who are ready and willing to be baptized on February 22nd!!! It is so awesome! I think this is the most success I have had in such a short time. It is crazy how the Lord works, and the things that he does to make everything happen at the right time and for the right reasons. I wish that the whole rest of my mission was like this, but I think that the reason it wasn't is because I needed to grow and that growth took lots of hard work and exercise! By exercise I mean dealing with rejection and doubts. My struggles now are with internal turmoil and disheartened missionaries. They are having a hard time getting the motivation to go out and work because it is raining and there has been some success but they are running into opposition at every corner and some of them are just letting themselves get discouraged. This is a big no no, which is where Elder Sabin and I come in. We are having success and we are getting along great. We also are worried about their success and as such we are trying to help them by offering time for us to come help them as well as prayers and fasts and other things that we are able to do with our agency. We can't do everything for them, but we can help them in the ways of spiritual/moral support. We are both pretty optimistic so I think it is starting to rub off on them. That is our hope and we will keep it up.
 
I want to tell you a story about what happened two weeks ago at a baptism we were attending...
 
The water was cool, the crowd was quiet, there was the sound of an angelic voice that was gliding across the air as the words of life were being spoken and there was this unusual gurgling sound that was unidentified and subtracting from the spirit. The crowd under their breath begin to whisper to one another, "What is that?" The looks of puzzled members turned ever so slightly to the missionmormonaries that were involved in the baptism. The was a quick shrug of shoulders shared with everyone that they had no idea of what was going on either. The sound continues, the people keep trying to listen, while paying no attention to the gurgling sounds, but the focus just isn't present. It seems that the sound has stolen the show and the husband to the angel speaking turns and looks at the Leaders of those missionmormonaries that shrugged off their knowledge. As the gaze of "Fix this" was given, the two missionaries sprang into action, there was a quick move and a long walk.
 
They sped to the back of the room, trying to find out what the sound was. There was a long look at the water in the font; it looked fine, the drain was plugged, and it seemed as if there was no problem. But the sound, almost as if it was a hungry fasting missionary, was getting louder and louder as the time went on. Where was it coming from? What was causing it? These missionaries were puzzled, but then out of the corner of one of their eyes the see the overflow drain... 
 
BINGO!!! 
 
With a quick thought, they desired to plug the overflow drain and stop the sound. They couldn't do it though, there seemed to be about 300 gallons of water standing in their path. Their suits were not waterproof and they were a bit low on clean clothes at this very inconvenient time. They needed a miracle to be able to walk on water or something, however, they lacked the faith to do that one.
 
"Brain Blast!!!"
 
Grab a trash can, empty out the water one bucket at a time! Lower the water and keep the water from draining out of the overflow...GENIUS! The missionaries jump into action, they find a room.... (Imagine the mission impossible theme going in the background) *Flash of the screen with a POW motion... TRASH CAN!! (POW sounds) Taking the trash can into the font room, and putting into the water... *Flash of a different colored screen... WATER!!! (Kapow sounds) Pour in the sink to dispose of the water *Flash again... EMPTY!! (Mortal Kombat Finish him!) As they lowered the water, the sound stopped and the day was saved!!!
 
Smiles and a nice syncopated High Five! *Flash the Success screen and winking faces!
 
THE HEROES SAVE THE DAY!!!  There was much rejoicing!!! yay...!
 
Have a wonderful day and enjoy the Valentines Day that I won't be enjoying.... ;(
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
p.s. mom I used a computer today that was kind of old, which means I was running an older version of e-mail, which means that there are lots of spelling errors and grammatical flaws...please fix them... TYPOS!!! love ya

Monday, February 3, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #93 - Copy Right: Rated I (Inappropriate for all ages)

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
It is once again a beautiful morning in the lovely land of California! The Sun is in the air, the birds are chirping, it is a nice 70 degrees or so, there isn't a care in sight, I could just fall asleep under a tree and live in paradise forever!!! NOT!! That seems like a great day, but there needs to be some diversity! I would like Rain, lots of Rain! Actually bring on a monsoon or maybe a typhoon, or maybe something that brings lots of water with it! I need some change, I am going crazy here. I don't know what season I am in. I think it is supposed to be cold and windy, with snow and freezing temperatures, but it isn't. It is like June in February! I need my change in seasons, without that I get all cranky and I start yelling at people and then my companion has to calm me down, shoot me in the butt with two tranquilizer darts just to keep me from going ape crazy, and then take a hammer and beat me over the head with it so that I am knocked out cold until the rain comes. It is a very long and intense process, and then I have a headache for at least a week if not longer because of the blunt force trauma to my noggin. This is why I PRAY FOR RAIN!!!! We need it badly and everyone here knows it. They aren't concerned about the water reservoirs or the lack of water in the lakes and rivers, they just don't want to see me when I am angry!!! They wouldn't like me when I am angry!
This past week was awesome!!! Yeah, it was full of Awe! I am now companions with Elder Sabin, we live in a nice member's home who is very nice and willing to help us out in any way. He is grateful for our company, because he lost his wife not too long ago, and was feeling lonely in his house. Now we are there and he feels much better. I love missionary work. This last Sunday was Fast and Testimony Sunday, but I will get to that in a minute. The Branch here is great!  They fellowship like nobodies business. They love our investigators that we bring to church and when we bring them to church we don't have to lead them anyway because the members got us covered. Now the branch is only like 30 members strong in the active category, but that might just be because it was terrible bowl Sunday, in which the Broncos were not present at all because they came to our sacrament meeting in spirit because they knew where they needed to be on Sunday afternoons. 30 members is still really good though, and they all did a wonderful job at helping me feel welcome. We have some sassy people in this branch and we have some quiet ones, but all in all it is a very good place for me to be. There is a lot of work to be done here, which is great. It keeps me occupied and working hard, there isn't any time to slack or become preoccupied with other things, and on top of all that I am within a stone's throw from the Temple... maybe if I was Hercules, but still a stone's throw, so Temple tours are the best! Speaking of Temple Tours this is where the real cool things happen on the mission. We took our investigator to the temple on Saturday for a tour, her name is Amber, she is awesome! She loves the gospel and really loved the temple. Anyway we took her to the temple and afterward we had a great lesson. In order to make a short story shorter she said she would fast for the Rain that the valley and all of California needs, and she would live the other commandments to be baptized!!! Which means that on the 22nd of this month she will be making a covenant with God via baptism and then she will be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ!  WAHOO!!!!!! I love my Job!!!
*Everyone Celebrate with me!!!* (Dance around like a crazy person)
Funny thing happened this past week, Elder Sabin and I were enjoying a nice meal at home, because we didn't have someone signed up to feed us on the dinner calender, now for those thinking of crying and buying me food, it is okay. I have changed the dinner situation and they are feeding us, plus we have plenty of food at home. back to the story, we were at home eating, and there was this big jug of Apple juice, it was soooooooo good. Elder Sabin and I both love Apple juice. He handed me the jug and I poured the last of the Apple juice into my cup and then started to drink, as he looked at me and made some very funny grunting noises, I just smiled and then started to drink. He said " It would be a real jerk move if I just tipped the cup back on you." as he gestured to do it, and I replied "Yes it would be." He then asked me to pour some back in the jug so he could have some, and because I love him, I did as he asked of me. Then we both began to drink at the same time, well I have to slow this movie down and give you a quick disclaimer here...
*Any reproduction of this film without prior written consent from the original writer and all those involved in this scene will result in a slap on the hand and the cone of shame wrapped around their neck to be forever looked at as a shameful copy cat who has no soul.*
Two bros, standing in the kitchen, swapping stories and having a good time.  They clink their glasses together and they go to throw back the drink that they will always remember.
*I really mean that any reproduction of this will result in a near fatal blow to the noggin causing cerebral hemorrhaging and possible loss of uncommon sense making it hard to function in the real world.*
As Elder Wheeler throws back the drink Elder Sabin begins to do the same. There is a slow lag as they are being controlled by the bandwidth coming into the Family History center, Please be patient as I finish the story. They throw back the drinks they open up their mouths wide and as things begin to get good.
*Ok like for cereal, don't steal my writings, I know that they are funny and full of wit and lovely puns that make one giggle, but this is my precious, pride and joy and if you steal it, imagine how many baby elephants are being set free into the wild from their zoo captivity and the total number of times you scratch you head in trying to figure out what comes next in the story. Those things have feelings too, and if you were to break that first warning they would be traumatized beyond comprehension causing the world to desire to be destroyed and my heart to be shattered into a million tiny little microscopic pieces that cause one to be totally and utterly bored from this over dramatized warning of copyright infringement and death.*
The liquid begins to flow down Elder Wheeler's throat and then his tie and his shirt and everything else...Wait!!! What?!?!? As Elder Sabin brought his drink to his lips, there was an appendage of his body that was in the perfect spot and angle to be right underneath Elder Wheeler's glass and lifted it ever so slightly as to dump his apple juice all down the front of him. Now all of this wasn't on purpose it just happened this way and it was ironic because of the comment made earlier. If you missed the comment please go back and reread this e-mail. It was funnier in the moment, and I think it will be one of those things that I replay in my life movie that God is keeping so I can relive it on repeat and slow-mo.
That is all today folks and I love to keep you entertained for a while, glad you liked it. tune in next week to hear Elder Wheeler say "Where my tie at!?"
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
p.s. Mother Typos please!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week # 92 - Mormon Movers - We will call the Missionaries!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
It is Tuesday again! Aren't you tired yet of these Tuesday e-mails? I know I am, I want my P-day to be on Monday, that is where it belongs and it should forever stay there, for if it didn't I would have to become acclimated to something new and that just throws a monkey wrench into all of my plans causing mass chaos and a very unhappy camper, and by camping I mean staying in a members home while they allow me to do missionary work. Which brings me to the news that you are all waiting for. Because I am writing on a Tuesday, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I am being transferred, but it is also the Bad news...Well I may need to make up my mind later, but right now I am moving to a new area, in which I will become a Missionary Legend and then I will hang the tag up for a season. Now, I am not excited about this fact, but it is the inevitable. I can either face it like a man and let it come, but work my hardest, or I can be scared of it and then waste all of my efforts worrying about my impending doom and then not accomplishing what I am here to do. That seems very counter-productive, and then there is some more bad news... I have to pack again, gosh I loathe packing! It is like moving.  I promise that whomever I marry will have to deal with wherever we settle down, because I will not be moving often. I think it might even be never, until I die. I may be persuaded by mass amounts of food, or maybe money, or maybe the Call from God to stop whining and just move already, but I will not be persuaded by any other means.... OK if my future wife wants to move I will do as she asks, as long as it is working in our benefit; if there is a no good reason to move I will sink my roots deep in the ground and not move.
 
*Elder Wheeler willing to compromise, but not a push over, look out ladies he may smite your hearts with his devilish good looks and charm...or maybe with a samurai sword, depends on what he has on hand!*
 
As for where I am being transferred, I am going to be serving in the American River YSA Branch with my companion Elder Sabin. It is located in the Rancho Cordova area, pretty close to the temple. YAY! I will be driving a car; it is an older model so I will not be able to say I am rocking a Corolla again, and you may say I am spoiled, but I am! You will just need to stop your hating and become OK with it, I will use every resource given to me :) Oh and I will live with a member of the church, which is going to be really nice, because it won't smell like Marijuana when I walk into my apartment, like it has for the last 21 months of my mission. YAY for no POT!!
 
Wow, I feel like I had a very uneventful week because I am having a hard time writing to you, which sometimes happens because I suffer from a severe case of writers block, or it could be a senior moment where I forget things that actually happen to me, and then I have flashbacks to when I was in the War. After my episodes I then figure things out and realize that I am OK, and that it is just writers block and the last two events never happened because I am too much of a wuss to go to war, and I am not old enough for senior moments, so through the art of science and technology and about 36 hours of lab work while staring into the Sun, I have figured out that I am a normal person once again. YAY!!! Normality has been established, now I am no longer a danger to society! :)
 
I need to go, there is a schedule to keep and I am behind, plus I need to pack, and you remember from my first title/subject about the movers, you have to be packed before you can have anyone move. Adios Amigos!!! I will talk to yalls laters!
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
p.s. Mom! I have many typos and I am a terrible writer during normality, so please correct my normality and make me abnormal again! Love ya!
 
p.p.s. Sorry it is short, but you know how life is, sometimes it is better in the moment!