Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week # 92 - Mormon Movers - We will call the Missionaries!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
It is Tuesday again! Aren't you tired yet of these Tuesday e-mails? I know I am, I want my P-day to be on Monday, that is where it belongs and it should forever stay there, for if it didn't I would have to become acclimated to something new and that just throws a monkey wrench into all of my plans causing mass chaos and a very unhappy camper, and by camping I mean staying in a members home while they allow me to do missionary work. Which brings me to the news that you are all waiting for. Because I am writing on a Tuesday, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I am being transferred, but it is also the Bad news...Well I may need to make up my mind later, but right now I am moving to a new area, in which I will become a Missionary Legend and then I will hang the tag up for a season. Now, I am not excited about this fact, but it is the inevitable. I can either face it like a man and let it come, but work my hardest, or I can be scared of it and then waste all of my efforts worrying about my impending doom and then not accomplishing what I am here to do. That seems very counter-productive, and then there is some more bad news... I have to pack again, gosh I loathe packing! It is like moving.  I promise that whomever I marry will have to deal with wherever we settle down, because I will not be moving often. I think it might even be never, until I die. I may be persuaded by mass amounts of food, or maybe money, or maybe the Call from God to stop whining and just move already, but I will not be persuaded by any other means.... OK if my future wife wants to move I will do as she asks, as long as it is working in our benefit; if there is a no good reason to move I will sink my roots deep in the ground and not move.
 
*Elder Wheeler willing to compromise, but not a push over, look out ladies he may smite your hearts with his devilish good looks and charm...or maybe with a samurai sword, depends on what he has on hand!*
 
As for where I am being transferred, I am going to be serving in the American River YSA Branch with my companion Elder Sabin. It is located in the Rancho Cordova area, pretty close to the temple. YAY! I will be driving a car; it is an older model so I will not be able to say I am rocking a Corolla again, and you may say I am spoiled, but I am! You will just need to stop your hating and become OK with it, I will use every resource given to me :) Oh and I will live with a member of the church, which is going to be really nice, because it won't smell like Marijuana when I walk into my apartment, like it has for the last 21 months of my mission. YAY for no POT!!
 
Wow, I feel like I had a very uneventful week because I am having a hard time writing to you, which sometimes happens because I suffer from a severe case of writers block, or it could be a senior moment where I forget things that actually happen to me, and then I have flashbacks to when I was in the War. After my episodes I then figure things out and realize that I am OK, and that it is just writers block and the last two events never happened because I am too much of a wuss to go to war, and I am not old enough for senior moments, so through the art of science and technology and about 36 hours of lab work while staring into the Sun, I have figured out that I am a normal person once again. YAY!!! Normality has been established, now I am no longer a danger to society! :)
 
I need to go, there is a schedule to keep and I am behind, plus I need to pack, and you remember from my first title/subject about the movers, you have to be packed before you can have anyone move. Adios Amigos!!! I will talk to yalls laters!
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
p.s. Mom! I have many typos and I am a terrible writer during normality, so please correct my normality and make me abnormal again! Love ya!
 
p.p.s. Sorry it is short, but you know how life is, sometimes it is better in the moment!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #91 - Infomercial!! Infomercial!! Infomercial!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

Hey you! 

Are you tired of the same old boring soap?! Are you tired of having to pay expensive prices for soap that only kills 99.99% of bacteria?! Are you ready for something that is going to blow the dirt right out of your pores?! 

TRBAPTISM!!! 
With our new patented technology, you can have more than your physical dirt washed away, but your inner dirt too!!! Here are some testimonials about this great product:

"I remember my baptism, it was a nice cool evening and there were so many people. When I went down into the water it was almost as if the care and sorrow that was in my life was removed from my life and I was forgiven. It was the most amazing feeling I have ever had and I would recommend this product everywhere I go, because I know how happy it will make you." - Anonymous

"When I was baptized I was just a little boy, but I remember just looking up into the eyes of the ordained priesthood holder who I adored so much and thought about how happy I would be being able to have the Holy Ghost be my friend for life. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for his loving hand in providing his Son Jesus Christ, so that this amazing product works." - Brother Lereewh Lekson

"WoW! That felt so great!" - Brother Avery

"I know that what I have done is the right thing to do, I have been changed by the use of this great gift from our Heavenly Father" 

Call right now and schedule your meeting with the missionaries today!!! Or visit our website at Mormon.org! Your chance for peace in this life and eternal happiness in the life to come is only a phone call or click away! 

And if you call in the next 5 min we will throw in a free copy of the Book of Mormon and 5 free visits from some of our volunteer representatives!!! We have people on the phones awaiting your call, no waits, just call now!!!

This past week we were able to see the baptism of one of our long time investigators. We have been teaching her off and on since I arrived here in the Sacramento YSA Branch. She was so happy the week before her baptism and the day of and the day after and now forever. She was excited to feel the joys of redeeming love and the happiness that Jesus Christ brings. He brings healing in more ways than just a removal from guilt, he suffered for the pains and sorrows of internal turmoil, of emotional, spiritual, mental and physical life. He has experienced it all and I know that he can help anyone who will let him. 

I love being a special witness of Jesus Christ.  Every day it causes me great joy and happiness, plus I get to see the joy and happiness of those around me. I am still applying his redeeming love every day as I repent and then take the sacrament on Sundays. This life is too hard to go at it alone and that is what the world wants us to do. But you don't have to, as Woody would say "You've got a friend in...Jesus". I pray that you have a wonderful week and that things go amazing for you, keep the faith and know that there is always hope, no matter where you are, or what your circumstance, if you are willing to come unto Christ and keep his commandments there is relief from even the most painful things in this life. Love you all and want you to know that I know these things are true!

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

p.s. Mother Typos Please! Love ya

Monday, January 13, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week # 90 - Fun is my Chinese neighbors middle name!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
I am having a blast!! I love my mission sooooooo much!!! Let me tell you why! This past week we were able to have all sorts of good times! I loved it; there was not a moment of this past week where I wasn't just filled with the utmost joy. I think this is what the Celestial Kingdom is going to feel like. Wait I might have had one or two bad moments, however, those don't count because those moments were quickly ostracized and beaten for their unfortunateness. We don't like down thoughts and non-fun moments, although they make the fun moments better, hum... Maybe they can stay, but they need to sit in the back of the brain. Since they are sitting in the back of the brain, I will continue with the good stuff that made this week so FUN!!!
 
It started off with a super awesome training by "Yours Truly" and his companion, of course. We trained on goal setting, and JOY!!! I love Joy!!!  Thus, Fun and Joy are synonymous with one another! YAY!!! I love Fun Joy! Anyway, we trained on these things and setting good goals and overcoming obstacles by busting your butt so that you are leaving everything on the field that you are playing on. It was pretty fantastic, and then we saw an increase of success in the missionaries in our zone that had been struggling. It was awesome, some companionships that were not teaching more than 10 lessons a week jumped to almost 30! Can you say "Oh YEAH!!!" -Elder Allred!
 
After that training I went on this super awesome exchange with Elder Brook, one of my favorite missionaries. We talked with everyone, and as we talked with everyone, they were just like, "oh yeah, you guys are pretty cool, I want to learn more." Missionary work at it's finest. We ended up teaching 11 lessons in one day! Wahoo!!! It was fantastic, we met this guy named Uncle P and he was just telling us how things should go and we were informing him that the true church does that... and then asked him to come to church with us. He said no...aw...but that is ok, we then had some really good lessons with other people and it was suh-suh-suh-weet!
 
Then this past weekend we went to church and had only one investigator come to church. This was awesome! It was awesome due to the fact that this investigator when we talked to her after church said the correct words to make one happy while they are a missionary. These words were, "I really liked church today!" We love those words a lot because then what we do is we swoop in with a sweet invite to be baptized! We swooped in like a pelican after a fish. We invited her to be baptized this Saturday and she accepted.!!! We have a baptism this Saturday and it was all thanks to the Lord! We were not sure if we were going to be able to keep teaching this investigator because she was riding the fence and being indecisive. She made a decision, and we are now happy to announce that she will be making a covenant with God on Saturday and receiving the Holy Ghost on Sunday!! Thanks for all those people back home or wherever they are that are praying for us and the miracles of the work to be accomplished. It has helped a lot.
 
Now the fun doesn't stop there. Today, when I was outside of one of the apartments waiting on other missionaries, we were just sitting there and as we looked around we saw this girl. I looked at her and she at me, then I waved and she waved back. There was the connection and then she was ours. We went over to her at the bus stop and we began to talk with her. She is pretty legit! We talked to her about life and the purpose of life, and as we did we got to know her a little bit and now we have an appointment with her tomorrow at 3! This whole talking with everyone thing is the most effective thing I have done on my mission yet! Why it has taken me so long to add it to my tool belt, I have no idea, but I will keep using it! Just open your mouth and the Lord will fill it!
 
Time for a cool story...
 
One time at Missionary Camp...
 
The story continues, I will finish it when I'm no longer at missionary camp! See ya! Have a FUN WEEK!!!!
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
P.s. Mother Typos Please!!! love ya!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #89 - Order!, Order!, Court is Now in Session!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
As I sit down to write this e-mail I am puzzled to be staring into a blank state of mind in which I am trying to come up with something truly witty and entertaining that will not only Wow the unsuspecting visitor to these e-mails, but send a shock of enjoyment through the cerebral cortex of the already entranced and addicted viewers of these overly exaggerated and mind bogglingly detailed messes of many words that seem like they are too overbearing for the casual reader. I must say that these increasingly difficult to understand e-mails come from the lack of intelligence of the writer and his use of a thesaurus so that his readers feel as if they are reading a dissertation of a college professor who is filling his paper with big words so that those who are reading his paper are so engrossed in his vocabulary that they just glaze over the actual content and forget exactly what their purpose in exploring the ink on this page really was....Well reader, have you forgotten what your purpose of reading this e-mail is??? If so I will tell you in one sentence. Your Purpose is to make sure Elder Wheeler isn't dead in a gutter somewhere because of his crazy antics and weird quirky mannerisms! That is a pretty legit purpose! I wish that was my purpose, but it seems mine is a bit more complicated. 

My Purpose is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the Restored Gospel, through Faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, Repentance, Baptism, Receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost and Enduring to the End!...Phew, I almost ran out of breath writing that down. I love my purpose; it is fun.  There are so many people who just need the gospel and the blessings that come from living close to our Father in Heaven. One thing that I am learning how to do as a missionary is to simplify things to the very basics and trying to fit the essentials of a 45 min lesson into a 3-5 min lesson with a commitment and allowing the Spirit to teach the rest. It seems super hard, but there was once a really smart guy who said:

"It is true intelligence for a man to take a subject that is mysterious and great in itself, and to unfold and simplify it so that a child can understand" - President John Taylor

These are great words from a prophet of the Living God and I guess I must try and become truly intelligent, instead of trying to use big words and cause all who heed my words to be confused because of the words that are written or spoken.  As you can see from the beginning of my e-mail, I have a long way to go, but I am working hard to make things become simple to all who hear my words. It will be difficult, but heck, all the most difficult things are always worth it in the end.
 
Now for all those who are wondering about my title, I guess I will tell you. I have decided that my true intelligence has led me down the path of becoming a lawyer and I want all of you to know that I will be prosecuting all the criminals in California, causing a huge amount of justice to become part of our everyday lives and making all things that are unfair here to become fair again...
 
psss...psspss..sppspspp.sp.sp.

Bwahhhhh!!!! Sorry, I couldn't help myself, you should have seen your jaws drop to the ground when you thought I was serious... I just wish I had a camera to take a picture of that face and then be able to post it all over Facebook. The actual reason behind this title is very simple, I received mail this week and within this mail there was a letter, and on that letter were words, and within those words was ink, and within that ink were the molecules of water and some other substances that make up ink, and within those molecules are atoms of some kind, and at the center of those atoms was a nucleus, and at the center of that nucleus was something so truly amazing that I believe it should be simply stated with a quick statement. I was called for Jury Duty...  I now have to go online and tell them that I can not fulfill this civic duty because of my occupation and since I really am not a resident of California I can't be on the jury. I guess I have some of the best luck in the world, I wish the lottery would come my way, the same way the jury summons did. Except I wouldn't want to win the lottery, I wouldn't know what to do with it.
 
That is about it this week, our mission is planning on baptizing 801 people in 2014, so be sure to keep praying for that goal as we are. This is going to happen, and this year is going to be legit! I can't believe that it is 2014 and that I get to be a part of this great hastening of the Lord's work. I guess I'll need to just work as hard as I possibly can, that way I make up for the part of the year that I don't get to help out as much as I would like.
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
p.s. Mother!!! Typos please!! Thanks!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Letter from Kelson - Week # 88 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! again...(not Hmong this time)

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

It is 2014!!! Who is excited??!!! I know that I am! this means that I survived 2013 and will continue to make it through for another year. There are quite a few people who didn't survive 2013 though, I want to take a moment of silence for my late companions and friends, Elders: Nethercott, Cheney, Baryshnikov, Lawrence, Allred.... In loving memory, please rest in peace. I wish I could have spoken at your funeral this year, however, it never came time for me to speak. You all left so suddenly and then I was left with a blank stare on my face. I guess I will see you on the other side, one of these days. It is time to stop mourning and to look towards the future, I never know when my time will come so I must live it up!!! Work every day like it is my last, so that's what is going to happen. It is now 2014 and with that comes New Year's resolutions...anyone make any? Are they cool, lame, exciting, hard, outlandish, obtainable, just utterly ridiculous, set for you by your friends, dealing with spiritually things, open for change when you are tired of them, incomplete and probably will remain that way? If you answered yes to any of these, I feel so sorry for you...you have a hard year ahead of you, I guess you'll be working this whole year too. Well, I'll tell you what, 2015 will be easier for you... I prophesy, and if it doesn't come true, well don't come back and see me, I sometimes just say things to make people feel hopeful! ;)

Since I last wrote to you, my loving fans, and those who just feel bored on Tuesdays that you feel you must remove yourself from Facebook to read my e-mail because it is more entertaining than Farmville. I will tell you of my adventures in the previous week. We had been working really hard this past week to see a baptism...and Guess what!!!! it didn't quite happen, which is kind of sad, but not really because the whole mission baptized 651 people in the year of 2013, which means that the church is true and 651 more people know it is true, which is why they were baptized. You see there is Joy to be had all around this wonderful season. 

I haven't told you much about my situation here in Sacramento, or my new companion so I feel that I must inform you a wee bit on how things are from the bird's eye view. My companion, Elder Hinckley, is pretty awesome!! he is Bold, he is outgoing, he is a bit girl happy (has a girlfriend and they are totally head over heels for each other, sometimes it is too much) he is a strong leader, has a great desire to do what is right, always looks for the good in every situation and willing to work with his companion's weaknesses and strengths.  He also is very similar to me, which is why I think the mission president has paired us together. He has a lot of the same qualities and thought processes and as we work together, more and more things come out that show our similarities. I feel that I have sufficient trust in the Lord, that He knows who I am, and what I need to see success as well as how I can contribute to someone else's success. It works the same way for everyone, I have just seen many instances where the people whom I associate with are there to teach me something that I am in desperate need of at the moment. I live with 2 other missionaries, they are pretty cool. There are 4 of us in the apartment, and I feel that it is necessary for this, because we are able to help that companionship out a wee bit better than others because we live with them, plus it makes time after planning a bit more entertaining as well as p-day... NUMBERS AND INFORMATION!!!!... Sorry you'll need to ask Elder Allred about that one, I mean Spencer. 

Like all of my letters I like to tell a small story, however, there isn't a truly wonderful story to tell other than I am getting fat and I need to make a New Year's resolution to become less fat. If you feel so inclined and want me to be able to overcome the sugar coma that I have fallen into because of the enormous amounts of sweet things given during the holidays, please send things like dried mangoes, or pineapples, some good health food, or maybe some stuff for a healthy metabolism. Those things would help out greatly, and I know that my companion and those we live with will be appreciative too, because when you have a healthy system there tends to be less smell that follows you around during the day. XD I loved my Christmas and New years, but that doesn't mean I can't love tomorrow too!!! Have a wonderful New Year and good luck with those new goals and plans for the year, I support you 100% Just don't give up, you can do it!!!!

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

P.s. Mother I love you, which is why I send you this message first, please correct those small mistakes that keep my credibility down, and help these lovely people to know that I am not a joke, I just tell them! Love ya...TYPOS!