Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Monday, August 26, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 70 - Mice are not a Missionary's best friend.

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!! .... Again!!!
Today has not been my day with technology. I accidentally sent my mother a blank message which only said "Good Morning From Sunny California!!!" and then I hit tab and enter and it sent the message.  Each week I also e-mail my mission president to tell him how my week went, what is happening in my area, how he can help me and maybe send him an occasional joke. Well, while I was thus in the act of writing him this great big detailed dissertation about how this area is the best, my companion is the coolest ever and how we are working so hard to get baptisms that people are literally filling up the font themselves, I found this wonderful button on the side of the mouse that I was using. (Inside Kelson's mind: "I wonder what this does???")  *Click* It took me to the previous page that I was on...."Hum well that is interesting. Wait! Does the e-mail system to the mission president save drafts?!?!" "NOPE!!!" Well that wee little button caused my 11 page dissertation to be scrapped at the drop of a hat.(I need a face palm smiley!) Along with the disappearance of that very long winded letter came a rush of blood to the brain that caused my mind to be blown and my life to be ended.

Kelson Wheeler 
Born: June 30th, 1992
Death: August 26th, 2013
May he rest in Chaos.
Ok, I didn't die, but this next thing caused me to have a micro-brain aneurism because of the unfunny, but really super funny, coincidental occurrence.
I then proceeded to write the letter again, this time I made sure to not think inside my head about that button, but still to include all the information on which I had reported to the mission president. I simplified it a little bit so that I could write you folks and make you feel welcome in my life. as I began to simplify, I tried to include the same jokes that were in the first one, because you know me, a regular jolly joker. Anyway, I made a spelling error, I then reached over to this incredibly fancy device called a mouse and I moved it over to the mistake. As I go to click the button with my right pointer finger, my thumb has a side change out of nowhere and decides that it is just going to be that guy who makes the body hate it so much that it contemplates cutting it off to save on misery later. It clicks that infernal button that takes you back to the previous page and I lose everything once again...  I have since then removed my thumb and replaced it with a Bionic Claw.  It is better for eating fried chicken with anyway. I finished my letter the third time and used the mouse 0 times. I am now able to write to you, but not quite as fast because I am missing a Thumb.
This week was great! I love doing this work, I seem to find joy in more places everyday than I have ever had in a whole lifetime. Like this past week, we were playing soccer, I just found simple joy in the fact that I wasn't getting hurt, and then I forgot my ankle brace and I might have been a little too aggressive. Don't tell my mother she might be a little disappointed, but I think she isn't too surprised. But all is well now; my ankle feels great, but my knee is starting up the pains again...I must be getting old?
Working with YSA's is so much fun, This past week we had activities all the time. We had a Nerf war and nacho bar on Monday for Family Home Evening, we had soccer on Friday, we had lessons all week with some pretty legit people, and we had a super Fireside yesterday that included a special presentation from the Stake President, and he talked about Missionary Work!!! There are so many activities, there is so much going on, and they invite the missionaries to everything, because they usually bring their friends for us to meet and teach!!! WAHOO!!! This makes life much easier, because we can't really go tracting for college students; we can go college contacting, but not tracting. BTWs!!!! Arturo from Stockton got baptized this past weekend! It was awesome. Okay, well I am out of time again, plus I have things to do, so I will be peacing out here, but hey, remember that I care a lot about you so don't go and get yourself killed, and I will promise not to do the same because I am no longer on a Bike!!! heee
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
P.s. Mom, I have only one thumb now so I know there has to be a lot of typos...Please fix them!!! Gracias! 

Monday, August 19, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 69 - Back in SAC!! (Think of ACDC)

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

It has been a long while since I last wrote to you...What's new? Anything worthy of a shout out from the most handsome missionary in the whole continental United States!?!?!? When I meet him I will tell him to shout it out, but until then you will have to deal with me. I am now serving in the Sacramento Young Single Adult (YSA) Branch with Elder Lawrence, who started his mission a couple of transfers before me in the Mission Oak and Eastern Avenue wards...That's a long time ago now, GEEZ I am old. He is even older, haha

Since I am now serving here I have many more responsibilities!!! YAY! I love responsibility; it is my favorite past time. Right up there with DDR and Scum. It keeps us busy and helps us to see the whole mission succeed. I am a Zone Leader over the whole Sacramento zone, 30 missionaries or so, and I get to help them make sure things run smoothly. And when things have problems, we have this magic bag of fixing agents to make it work out. Once I get my magic bag I will tell you. Anyway, I love it, I thought I would dread it, but it has it's perks. Like a car!!!, maybe a pretty close relationship with all of my missionaries and the Mission President, and a nice relaxing stare at my actions as the missionaries watch my every move...Wait, What?! Yep, there are a lot of things that come with leadership, perks, and eyes. However, I have this really powerful being watching out for me, and helping me to overcome my short-comings, so I am set for Life. 

Anywho, we are seeing a lot of success in our Zone, we have had 6 baptisms this month and we have the potential for 6 more, which means that we will break the high-water mark (Most # of baptisms in a month) and President Lewis will take us out for Breakfast... YES!! Now, that is not the reason we are baptizing these people, but it is a nice perk when it comes down to be able to see many truly converted people enter into the waters of baptism. We have one of those soon to be baptized, her name is Phinalye and she is so solid. She reads, comes to church, is super open to the spirit, and she just loves all of it. I can't wait for her baptism on the 31st because then things are going to go Crazy Nutz!!!

I love my area, I love my mission. There is so much that has taken place, there are places I've been, things I've done, and people I have met that I would have never done while I was in Ohio. And on top of all that I get to see the lives of people change into something that will help them succeed in their near future and into eternity! How Great is My Calling!!! This is kind of a short letter, because I have limited time, the crap has kind of hit the fan and I must run to the next rescue operation to be performed by the Zone Leaders.  Know that every day I think about you, and then I cast away those thoughts, because they might make me miss you...but I still pray that all is well with those who have affected my life!!! Which is everyone so, guess what? you're grandfathered in...Lucky Dawgs you!!! 

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

P.s. Kelson: Mom!!! Typos Please!!!! 
       Mother: NO! 
       Kelson: Pretty Please!! With sugar on top!!!
       Mother: Okay, but next time you will have to add a cherry too! 
       Kelson: You got it Boss!!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Letter from Kelson - Week # 68 - Movin' on UP and not sure how to come DOWN... ;\

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!! 

I love this Work!!! !It is crazy the things that happen when you apply yourself, work hard, eat right, and have a bowl of "Whoop, There it is" in your pocket! This past week was awesome, and I am sad to say that it must end with change and a hard change at best. This past week we went and saw as many people as we possibly could, we taught lessons, we worked hard, I forgot to eat right, but there were a bunch of people who wanted to eat with us later so it worked out in the end and the results that are in this amazing letter come to this. 

Judge #1:  9.5
Judge #2:  9.4
Judge #3:  9.7

The Judges Agree that Arturo is going to get Baptized on August 24th!!! We announced it in church on Sunday and the ward was welcoming and excited to see that there is going to be yet another member added to the congregation. his family is so solid, I must say they are the best family in all of Stockton, besides the Garcia's, but they are moving soon so it works out in the end. I love being able to help these people because it is moments like this past week that really make the Gospel shine. Now you are all probably wondering what i mean by that, well let me tell you.

This past week Arturo's family went through a huge ordeal and things were crazy, they made me cringe and wonder if what I had taught Arturo was going to help him as he found a need for much prayer and faith. When the ordeal occurred we just received a message which said pray for us, we need some help. As we prayed we asked for guidance and direction for there family and it was granted unto them. The ordeal was really over by mid-week and Arturo said that before he would have cursed God, but now he is thanking him for the circumstances in which the ordeal occurred. We have a successful conversion ladies and gentlemen!!! He is super solid, and this ordeal brought his family even closer together and helped them to see the need for Jesus Christ in their lives. Now they are our best friends, and I hope that the Lady who takes care of my Facebook will accept their friend request when it comes (Hint Hint, Wink Wink).

In other news I have some good news and I have some bad news....The Bad News first:  I am being transferred into a Ward that totally YSA (Young Single Adult) work, which means I get to teach males and females from ages 18-31...I am really going to need that Thor's hammer that Kendra sent me about 2 months ago.  And the Good news is, that when it comes to YSA work, the only people who actually cover those areas are Zone Leaders, so by default I am now a Zone Leader and I need to learn how to take care of the problems of much more than 8 missionaries, more like 30!!! I will need more prayers and blessings because I am not sure how this will work, but God seems to qualify those who he calls.

I love all of you!  Keep in touch, remember that God made you special and He loves you very much!!!

Good Bye,

Elder Wheeler

P.s. Mother!!!! I waht you to Corect al me Typos@@@ 

Monday, August 5, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 67 - It's a Good Thing Cows Don't Fly!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!! 

I want everyone to close their eyes and imagine you are in Central America and are inside the biggest native american civilization called the Nephites!!!  Now open your Eyes, and read the last sentence because you can't read a sentence and close your eyes at the same time...unless you are blind, can read braille and/or have supernatural powers. Now that you have imagined the Nephites and are either asking yourself, who are these Nephites that I may know them, or What do I need to do to know more about these Nephites? I will tell you the best place to receive revelation to the question you just asked yourself.... it is contained in the largest set of historical records known to this world of the Native Americans from the time of 600 BC to 430 AD. It contains the Fullness of the Everlasting Gospel.  It has within its pages, Happiness, Joy, Pain, Sorrows, enlightening periods, stories of service and love, but also stories of the bad things that wicked men have done to the inhabitants of this continent.  The answer is contained in a Book so Secretive, that there are people who are going to every house, to every kindred, tongue and people to hand deliver a copy to their family library. This Book contains inside its pages the personal ministry of the Lord Jesus Christ to the people of the American Continent. This Book is inside a satchel near you!  

(Now imagine the most epic movie trailer ever)

This Fall, Prepare for the most epic book you will ever read. 

"Inspiring on all Levels" - Lamanite Enquirer 

"Exciting! Keeps you on your toes for hours" - Ammonihah Magazine

"You'll Never Cry Harder For our Heroes!" - Title of Liberty 

THE BOOK OF MORMON!!!

(Now you can allow your jaw to become one with your mouth again and stop drooling on my floor! That is hand carved Mahogany!  I spent a long time acquiring that for you.) 

This past week was awesome! We had so much happen that I am surprised that it is Monday again. But, for all those who are wondering about the title of this said Letter I must describe the scene and then explain in short detail. 

The weather started off at a cool temperature, it was about 3 o'clock on a Friday. The usual things happened, traffic zooming by, cars blazing to their next appointment not really thinking about the environment that they are residing. Everyone focused on how they are going to improve their life. The wind was a slight blow to the west as we rode to our next stop. There was a long drive of open road in which engulfed any hope of being able to tell what time it was, there was a mirage of unknown coming up over the hill that proceeded as we traveled under the overpass.
.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .   .   .    .    .    .   .

With the sun starting to heat up the day ever so slightly, there the predator was, perched upon a far away tree on the South side of Stockton. The thoughts of the consequences of his actions had no effect on the choice in which he took. He lept forth to spread his wings, and soared through the sky. His wings were a great span and he caused shadows to follow close behind him as he blocked the suns rays for seconds at a time. Looking upon Stockton he sees his target! He feels that his boss will be proud as he performs this mission that could end up with a loss of life. He goes in for the dive bomb spiral, his velocity increases, as he dodges left and right, jumping through trees, missing the leaves by a quarter of a nano-meter, he is making his final approach on the target!! He goes in and lets it go!!!  *heavy breathing, sudden second thought as he looks back, memories of his family flash in his mind* 

.  .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .  .    .    .    .    .   .    ..     ...

Elder Badger - "We need to stop by the apartment"
Elder Wheeler - "Why"
Elder Badger - "Just go there I'll explain later"

5 min bike ride later.

Elder Wheeler - "What's up?"
Elder Badger - " A Bird just pooped on my shoulder... "
Elder Wheeler - "I am totally writing about that in my e-mail home!"

There you have it! 

The Work here is great, our friend Arturo is still set to be baptized on the 24th of this month and his family are quickly following behind him. YAY!!! 

Have a wonderful day, and keep up the trucking! 

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

P.s. Mom TYPOS!!! Love ya

Editor's Note:  This message was from last week, the 5th of August.  I just realized it didn't get sent out.