Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week #83 - Turkey makes me Sleepy...ZzzZzzZzz

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!
That is right! It is the day when all people decide that their desire for eating healthy and losing weight will fly right out the window and hit their annoying neighbor in the face, because we have turned this day into a feed your face until your stomach explodes and then plop your, now massive, butt on the couch and watch some TV... I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY!!! It's a FAT KID'S favorite day of the year, and being a missionary is even better during this time, because if we play our cards right, we can repeat this cycle as many times as we want because members of the Church, at least here in the United States, will gladly have you over to feed you full of deliciously tasty food and then they will make you eat their most delicious pie, and then send you off to another dinner so that you can repeat it all over again and again!!! FOOD!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! My dissertation to this amazing holiday has been concluded. Please continue to read; if you have no desire to read because you are about to vomit, please proceed to the nearest bathroom, expel the excess food from your stomach, and then please return to the computer. You need to read this, it is super important!
Please wipe your face, you have some cranberry sauce on your cheeks. Thanks, it makes writing this to you easier, it's kind of weird trying to speak to people when they have food on their face. It is so hard to focus on what I am saying, when I am focused on how long that food had been there, or whether or not you were really saving it for later. I hope you were saving it for later though, because there are kids in Africa starving right now and they could have eaten that cranberry sauce...  just kidding; they couldn't have gotten the cranberry sauce, but there are still those kids in Africa, so say a few prayers and try the best you can to donate to the Church Humanitarian fund, so they will receive food. :)
It has been 10 days and a lot has happened since I was last able to write. In these past few days I have been able to meet a General Authority of the Church, I have taught a super awesome lesson with our Mission President and my companion, and I have felt the winds of change upon our shoulders (it was windy all day the other day XD) Which brings me to the story corner of the mission!!! YAY!!  STORY TIME!!!
It was a Blustery cool Day! 
By: Spider-man 
Illustrated by:... no money to pay an illustrator, sorry.
It was a blustery cool day, in the early fall of northern California; yeah, California isn't always sunny and it gets cold. On this day, which was one of epic proportion, because the driver of the nicest car in the world, a 2011 Toyota Corolla, began to feel a chill in his body as it was reaching temperatures of 50 degrees or so.
"WoW! I've been here too long" he said, "HAHA you are so lame now" his companion muttered, as he is freezing too...
They jump in the Corolla and they are off to see the wizard. This isn't just any wizard this wizard is a high class, super smart, and quite British.

*Yeah that is right, he is British! Want to fight about it?...I may just keep interjecting; sorry..Oops
They sat, they learned, they enjoyed, they were chastised greatly, These two elders were just soaking it up like a sponge that has not tasted the refreshment of cool water in it's entire life.
*Poor Sponge...Please take a moment of silence for the sponge...
As the elders departed they left feeling enriched and happy, then there was a sudden breeze, it blew from the north to the north, and then from the south to the south, and then from east to east, then from west to west...I think it might have been a not so good breeze, it is almost like it was running away from us.
"Did we do something?" - Missionary 1
"Nope!, those are the Winds of Change my good sir! Winds of Change!!" - Missionary 2
"I feel the change, I feel it!!!" - Missionary 1
There was a brisk motion, a quick reaction and the face planting of a George Washington, meeting Missionary 2 square in the noggin.

"Ouch!" - Missionary 2
Since then, things have changed; there are a couple of people who just decided to be baptized!!! So the winds of change are real. I know they are real and that it works. My stories are kind of open ended and they never really end. I wonder what my English teacher would say?... Don't tell Mrs. Pace.
Time for a nap!!! YAY!!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
p.s. MOTHER TYPOS!!! LOVE YA!!

Monday, November 18, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 82 - Drop it like it's HOT!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
Is it just me, or is it MORMON here?!! (please read the joke out loud and it will make sense)
 
Seeing as how it is currently a beautiful 71 degrees with a slight gusty breeze, I guess it truly is warm in here. I am loving this weather, except for one key ingredient...We are missing Rain, Snow, and maybe some change in seasons. It smells like November, somewhat, but it doesn't feel like November, it seems more like August or May. Now that all of you are either jealous, or just laughing, because you know how much I love cold weather, I will proceed to the highlighted route and then the story telling will start.
 
This past week was pretty fantastic...actually I am just saying that, this past week was super tough. Now I'm not talking FORD Tough, because those break too easily, but I am talking like overcooked steak. There were a lot of things that just didn't seem to go as planned. It almost seems like we were wandering around not doing anything, but to highlight what I am talking about I want to tell you the story of the "Birds in the Wilderness"
 
This story starts like all good TV shows with a theme song, it goes like this
 
Tune goes like this (Do do do do, dodada doda do...or something like that)
 
"Here we sit like birds in the wilderness
Birds in the Wilderness
Birds in the Wilderness
Here we sit like birds in the wilderness
Waiting on some one to get baptized"
 
(While reading please speak as Steve Irwin) (RIP)
We come to the deep dark jungle of the Downtown Sacramento streets of Lower Sacramento, Northern Elk Grove, and Eastern West Sacramento. In these jungles there are a rare species of White Breasted, Tie-blers. These birds are so rare that they only appear once for 2 years and then they die out forever. As we go on our safari please make sure not to feed the birds as they are ravenous and they may become permanently attached to you because they love food.
 
These birds are quite unique in their pursuits, you never see them by themselves, they always have a buddy, and if you ever see one alone, they usually freak out and find it very hard to think, let alone fly, so they usually fall from their trees in a petrified state. This only happens once in a blue moon, so there will be no need to panic or even think about trying to make them squirm, for it doesn't work. Let's watch as they go into action... (Imagine two birds sitting in a tree and a non-suspecting person walks across the street) As we zoom in we can see they are preparing to swoop in for a Suh suh suhweet! contact! ...OH oh there they go!!!! (Swooping motion as the birds launch from the tree) As you can see these birds are gentle to their contact as they swoop in with the good word, but it seems these people don't like them. That person is just flailing his arms and legs (Simultaneously by the way, imagine that someone flailing both their arms and legs at the same time...that's pretty funny right?!)
 
OH NO!!! One of the birds got tagged...I wonder if it will live??? Lets go check it out.
 
*Runs ever so fast, but really in slow mo, because everything is better in slow mo, camera guy trips because he is a Clumsy Carl, breaks the lens so all you will receive from now on is audio only...SORRY* (By the way, we fired that camera guy)
 
The Bird just "DROPPED like it's HOT!!" I don't believe I have ever seen such brutality in this manner toward a fowl before. This guy was heartless, insensitive, actually I think he was just not interested...oh well, no one can blame him for saying "no."  It's OK, the bird seems to be rising up to take another try at this...Another swoop, and another crazy encounter with the hard ground...It seems that everyone these birds try to talk to are telling them "no"...Why? What do they have against their words? I am not sure, what to think here,
 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo A crocodile!!! I love those things!!!!
 
Oh wait, we are looking for the White breasted, Tie-bler..Sorry, I have ADD. ;P
It seems this bird is resilient and wont give up, that is what I like to call having the heart of a sting ray.
XD lol! (Sorry if it is too soon, I love Steve Irwin)
Well folks that is it for these rare birds, they are resilient, they don't let anything get them down, they are way tougher that a FORD any day of the year...I'm Steve Irwin and this is Animal Planet!
 
We had to drop all of our investigators this past week, it was super rough, we were told on many fronts that they were not interested, the work seemed to halt, but then we remembered whose work it really is...Not mine!! This is the work of God, this is the work of salvation to the world. God will not be stopped, and we see it through the great blessing of our zone being able to baptize 7 truly converted people this month. 1 more than our goal of 6. There are all sorts of things that happen to us in our lives that may make things seem like the world is ending and that if we don't get it our way then we will never be happy and life will cease...well I hate to tell you this, but tomorrow is coming baby, there is no way that tomorrow won't come because whether it is a mortal tomorrow or a spiritual tomorrowtomorrow always comes. This is Eternity, "and there ain't nothing you girls can do about it." We have great things going on into this week and we are going to be able to see many amazing things come to pass in the branch in which I am serving, sorry you won't be here to experience it with me. I guess you'll just have to keep reading. Keep up the prayers; they are helping make things easier here.
 
To my cheering section around the world,

Elder Wheeler
Love ya!!!
 
p.s. MOM!!! TYPOS!!!
p.p.s. Next week the e-mail will not be sent until Thursday. Sorry, but I don't have a P-day until then. Take care! 

Monday, November 11, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week #81 - I love to bowl!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!

This is a really late letter. I am now coming to you live from the bowling alley just down the street from our apartment. This is so awesome!  I love technology and iPads and awesome members who come bowling with us and allow me to write this ridiculously long e-mail on their iPad while we bowl. 

This past week was pretty awesome.  My companion, Elder Allred, is pretty awesome.  We have a lot of things in common and we are having a blast. I am reminded that every companion is meant for me and I don't need to worry too much about what they are good at because we will be compatible. For you inquiring minds, I will tell you a little bit about my zone and their zoneness. My zone consists of 21 missionaries: 18 elders and 3 sisters with 4 different languages being spoken. We have Spanish, Hmong, Cambodian, and English.  There are a lot of things that are going on as we are here trying to baptize all nations, we have 2 planned baptisms this month and the possibility of 5 more. We are also striving for the goal of 12 in the month of December. It is going to be hard, but I definitely believe we can accomplish this goal, we are the best zone in the mission. I have no doubt in the abilities of these missionaries. It is going to be awesome to see the faith of the elders and sisters grow from the miracles that are taking place. I'm getting emotional now...sorry I think I may start to cry... Please give me a moment...


One moment later!!!

I'm back, aren't you so glad, because you might have just stopped reading and cried yourself because I didn't finish my dissertation on my week. I guess this is the moment you have all looked forward to...story time with Elder Wheeler

Once upon a time, there was a coconut; but this wasn't just any coconut, it was a coconut that was carried across the many waters of the world by two African swallows, not to be confused with European swallows that seem to do that every once and a while...where was I?  Oh yeah, the coconut, anyway this coconut had a dream, it's dream was to sing a lovely song with the song birds of the USA. However, this coconut had one problem. After it was imported into the USA it was quickly deported to some weird place to be put into an Almond Joy candy bar...poor coconut.  Well, the moral of the story is that if you travel by swallow make sure to ask for a landing zone a bit farther from the border, it might save your life. But if you aren't traveling by swallow I think you will be OK  As for the dream of the coconut, he was unsuccessful in completing that wonderful dream, but I know one thing he was successful at, he satisfied my hunger for something delicious...now this story may not make any sense whatsoever, but the real moral behind it is that you shouldn't let dreams go unaccomplished it will drive you loony.  I have these dreams in my brain that have been floating around it and I am always wondering if I will ever accomplish them. But then this week I was a given a great opportunity to commune with my Father in heaven. And he reminded me that if I just pray always, then I can make sure to accomplish all I am capable of. So I will just stop worrying about it. As long as I have God on my team, I am good to go!!! Wahoo!!! 

(Insert wahoo!!!  Face here)

I love all of you and wish to continue to make you proud, but please try and keep you expectations kind of down to earth so that I don't end up disappointing you;)

Love ya,
Elder wheeler

P.s. Mom, I am using an iPad so I have not capitalized the things that need it and or had good spelling, please fix it...TYPOS!!!!! Love ya

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Letter from Kelson - Week #80 - What the Pho!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
Wow!! It is that time once again, I am writing on a Tuesday, which doesn't make any sense because our P-day is on Monday... Hum? Why is this? Maybe when Daylight savings time hit, California lost a day; we do have some weird laws here, or maybe there was a huge atomic war and everyone died but us, because we just so happened to be in a fallout shelter, and because we have been in here so long, it seems like a Tuesday, but really is a Monday. I am not sure what could have happened to cause this phenomenon, however, I do know one thing though, I am not leaving the Sacramento YSA Branch anytime soon... Oh wait, I know where I was going with this beginning sentence structure/paragraphical notations that seem to be continuing to grow as I explain that I had an epiphany. It was a TRANSFER Week. That makes a whole heck of a lot more sense than a nuclear fallout and a loss of time and space, or daylight savings falling back a day. Phew, I am so glad we figured that out, it would have caused me to go into convulsions as I was striving to find out what I had forgotten.
 
I am staying here in Sacramento and I will be changing companions. His name is Elder Allred, he is a Hmong missionary that has been pulled out of the Hmong program to come be a zone leader with me. It is also potentially his last transfer of his mission, so I may be here a while. My current companion is going home to his mom and dad, taking his tears with him as he has to leave the mission which he so wholly loved. I am being made the Senior Zone Leader which means I get the ability to drive the car now. I have been riding shotgun this whole time and now it is my turn to shine. I am excited, but I am also nervous. I have been known to blow chances I have been given, by becoming overly excited, doing something that is with half a mind, and then being demoted back to the Scarecrow mode of life. Please keep me in your prayers as I will be driving with these crazy Californians on their turf, trying not to die in the process.
 
I know you are all looking forward to a story so I will tell you of a story that happened this morning.
 
It was a beautiful morning, we woke up to nice sunshine with the breeze slightly blowing to cool down our morning workout, because you know it was heated. As I jumped the rope, to cause my little heart to beat with increasing rhythm, I smelled the lovely smell of the soon to be coming Winter season.
 
*I love winter, by the way, It is so wonderful and it is full of so many great smells*
 
Finishing my slight cardio and entering the apartment, I finished my workout with some good intensity and then hit the showers. My shower was a nice warm temperature, which if you knew the history behind our terribly mean hot water heater, is very rare. After I finished, I had 20 min to eat breakfast and prepare for my wonderful preparation day. I studied, I prayed, I feasted upon the words of Christ and loved every minute of it. The thing I looked forward to the most is that I was about 2 hours away from washing our lovely car, and finally paying off a debt of washing a member's car at the same time. My companion was soon picked up by the Hmong elders as they headed to the temple. Everything was great, we started companion study with my new temporary companions. We sang, we laughed, we talked about investigators, and then a rogue thought jumped into my noggin that I think was placed there by partial inspiration and another part by my own future planning.
 
"I hope he left the Keys to the car and church building on his desk?"
 
I thought this was a weird thought, but because I was wondering, I ran up the stairs to our study room and looked, and looked, and looked and looked. Nothing!! He took the Keys with him to the Temple, which wasn't close enough for them to turn back, and I remembered just as he was entering his temple session... (Right now if you want to throw a chair you may, I was contemplating throwing some, but I didn't because I am a bit more cool headed than that...at least at this moment). This is the big dilemma that plagued my morning. We had to find some way to do all that we could do, without the car, or the keys to anything else...It was a very sad morning. The worst part was having to make a phone call, which in YSA work means a text message, to the member whom we had previously set up to wash their car, many times...I think this is number 4 or 5, because we have been borrowing their stuff to wash our car, so we promised to wash theirs. This was like the 6th time we have had to cancel on them because of unforeseen circumstances! 
 
*Face palm! * 
 
The cancelling took place and my integrity died right there.
 
We then proceeded to try and do as much as possible to make the morning productive. It was somewhat productive, but in the end we have lots to do and very little time to do. Although this morning was very stressful, there was a nice member of the church who played a beautiful piano for us... It was the most soothing and harmonic music I had heard in a long time. As he played, I felt my stress levels dropping slightly, I could feel the little tender mercies of the Lord touch my life and I began to put thoughts together as to how this day can play out. I think we have everything taken care of now, my companion has returned, we have the keys and forgiveness has been given/hopefully received for my lack of integrity. 
 
WHAT A MORNING! I guess the rest of the day had better be great then ;)
 
I would like to shout out to the member in whom we have found the wrongs against us, even though they said that forgiveness would come. I am sorry for the inconvenience and the trouble that we have been continuously causing you as we are the most unreliable, reliable missionaries known to man. I will make sure to try harder on my integrity, so that this type of thing doesn't happen again. Have faith, I may be pretty dumb in some aspects, but I won't stop trying.
 
Thanks for the prayers and all the words of encouragement, I will work on coming up with a super awesome story for next week.
 
Love,
Elder Wheeler
 
p.s. The Pho, is actually pronounced as (F-uh) and it is Vietnamese soup of some kind. it tastes really good! Try it out sometime.
 
p.s.s. MOTHER TYPOS PLEASE!!! Love ya!