Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Monday, April 21, 2014


Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
*Effective Immediately*
All Missionary services provided by Elder Wheeler will be terminated at the Airport in Dayton, Ohio on Wednesday April 23rd. Any peoples desiring to be at the airport to visit with him when he walks out of the terminal must arrive at the airport promptly at 10:00 pm to be blessed by his presence and be given the opportunity to hug him before his mother...hahaha
If you don't wish to be a part of this, or find yourselves without the ability of doing so, please send hugs via the internet, or text message, or Facebook and they will be received with open arms and loving hearts.
Those who decide that party pooping is their job and must not do any of the previously stated activities that are given for your profit and learning, will be given a handshake and a "how do you do". That way all will be given the love of the returning servant of the Lord and none will be shunned from the party. Even though they are trying to poop on the party, they will be shown love.
Signed:  Elder Kelson Wheeler
Witness: Sister Dalley - we may kidnap him and not let him leave.... Shultz
Witness: Elder Boddie - I love him with >                     < this much of my heart
Witness: Elder Stevens- I proclaim him dead. and loved.
Witness: Elder Anderson- Beware of pride my boy!
Witness: Zeuge: Sister Breuer- I solid witness that Elder Wheeler is right! (She is German)
Witness: Elder Kaititi from KIRIBATI Kiritimati Island. Elder Wheeler is my awesome Zone Leader in the Codorva area I have exchanged  and pair up with him one time in my area and I learned a lot from him. I appreciate him.
As this time comes upon me, I want you all to know that I know that Jesus is the Christ, that He did die and that He lives today!  I know that all things are possible because of Him and that when the time comes I will be able to stand before him and kneel at his feet thanking him for His service, sacrifice and His Love. I know that I have tried to serve Him with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I look forward to keeping my blog going, but with a different source of ideas for my material!
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler (Last Time)
p.s Mother!!! Please fix my Typos for the last time!!! :)

Monday, April 14, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #103 - Money don't grow on trees, I wish it did though!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

For everyone's information, today my typing is terrible so if there are any mistakes that my mother does not catch, it is OK, you can forgive her and realize that she is dealing with a crazy person's e-mail writing that needs some help in the typing skills.

It has been a crazy week; so we found out at the beginning of the week that our investigator with a baptismal date that is going to be baptized, doesn't live in our area. She lives in a different zone all together, and because of this we are no longer teaching her and she is no longer going to be baptized by us... ;(  This is okay, though, because she is still getting baptized. This is all that matters, and besides she is having a potluck with all sorts of people there. It will end up being the biggest baptism ever, because there will be 3 wards represented there. It is going to be crazy go nutz! With that being said, we will not be blessed to see a baptism this month, because we have been unable to help people keep their appointments. :(  But since I like to look at the bright side, here is the good news. Our zone, which was hurting the past few months with baptisms and motivation has stepped it up like hardcore. We will be seeing by the end of the month 9 or 10 baptisms which is fantastic! This is going to break the high water mark in the Cordova zone and win them a nice pancake breakfast from President Lewis!!! Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend this breakfast, but I will celebrate from afar. 

I want you to imagine yourself in Downtown Sacramento, if you don't know what it looks like, imagine yourself in any downtown setting... Thank you for your participation, if you are not participating, shame on you. I hope that you just find yourself crying because you are not being a team player and having fun like the rest of us... :P 

Now imagine downtown anywhere, there are cars running in every which direction, there are pedestrians running out into the street, cars skidding to a stop, and the loud horns of very angry drivers blaring in the ears of the silent imaginer... can you picture this? If not, let me know, because I will put more detail in next week. Amid this crazy town life of always being on the go, there are two wonderful missionaries, who when they see people, are just dying to show people the truth.

Now in your imaginary world, please place this evil menace who just does his job day in and day out, and causes lots of headache and grief for those who are trying to work in downtown. This evil menace goes by the title of "Meter Maid!!" Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnn... (Que The lighting)...(Where is my lighting...)  *CRACK, BOOM, FLASHING LIGHTS!!!*

Meter Maid has been causing havoc all over town. Telling people that they stink at parking and that they should pay their ridiculous fees. And while they tell people that they should be better at parking, they just laugh and mock them because they are enjoying making life miserable for those who are just trying to get the word out... Then Meter Maid spotted these two nice, adorable, good loving, always laughing, happy missionaries, who wouldn't break any rules if they were forced to. Then he zeroed in on his new target... ;( 

The unsuspecting missionaries left their car, thinking that on Saturdays there is free parking, trying to preach the good word, and Meter Maid comes up to their vehicle. 

"OH would you look at that, their meter is expired...hum, I wonder what we should do now... I know, how about we give them a nice fine, because this sign only says that Sundays are free...MWAHHHH!!!!"

When the two missionaries return they are happy and go lucky, when they looked at the front of their car windshield, it turned into that scene from the Lord of the Rings when Frodo screams out for Gandolf when he dies fighting the Balrog.  This was the reaction of these two unsuspecting missionaries... It was a sad day indeed. Now Elder Wheeler has to pay a $42.50 ticket to the state of California because his parking skills stink... SAD DAY!!! 

There are a lot of things going on, but it is just the usual missionary work. I don't know what to tell you other than.. We are going to break high water this month and you better believe it is going to be awesome!!!

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

p.s. MOM!!! I love you TYPOS!!! I think I did pretty good today!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Letter From Kelson - Week #102 - Repentance is Real!!! Forgiveness is Divine!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
Happy Monday everyone! I am hoping that you are having a great day and that all of your dreams are coming true. I also hope that some of you have read the New Testament and remember when the Lord told his disciples that they should forgive 70 x 7, which in turn means that no matter how many time Elder Wheeler wrongs you or makes you worry for his health and safety that you forgive him every time, because the Lord has already done that. What I am really trying to say is that if there is anyone who has hard feelings about the April Fools joke I may have played on the whole world last week, if you have a hard time forgiving, remember this acronym WWJD...and then apply this like you would the shampoo in the shower. Rinse, Lather, Repeat!
Now that you all love me again and don't want to rip my head off or make me wish that I was stuck in a wheelchair covered in tiny pins and needles being endlessly tormented by a loud and obnoxious parakeet that can only say "I wish I was not stuck in a wheelchair" and having someone play DDR in front of me, I guess I can now move on to the real reason why you tune in every week and listen to my story of bravery and daring and dashing stunts.
We have moved from a small town home in the nice pleasant neighborhood of suburbia and have been introduced to the lovely land of Downtown Sacramento. I just love living downtown; it is sooooo cool, there are lots of crazy people as well as people who are up at all hours of the night laughing and giggling and farting... I guess life in the fast lane is the way it goes. OH YEAH!!!!
We are going to be blessed to see an investigator baptized on the 19th of April and confirmed on the 20th. The missionaries having been working with her for almost 2 years now... It is totally wicked!! The time has finally come for her to get baptized and I get to be a part of it. She came and watched conference on Saturday and afterward she was talking about going on a mission and the possibility of having a companion that is as crazy as I am....I guess that only the special missionaries get to have crazy loons as their companions. It was just super cool, being able to see that all this hard work that we have been putting into this work is coming to a glorious close.
In the news of how our zone is doing, we have set a goal of baptizing 15 people in the month of April, and we are well on our way to completing that goal. We have 7 people who have accepted baptismal dates and are keeping their commitments, and we have 4 other people who have committed to be baptized this month. It is awesome. We are seeing miracles every day, and all we did was fast and pray, and then work our butts off to see the success of the Lord take place right before our eyes. This work is hastening, and I encourage all those who are within the sound of my typing fingers to take heed and remember this day.  This is a day that will be forever remembered because we got to be a part of the most amazing time in the history of the world compared to the parting of the Red Sea and the Birth of Christ. This time is the time that the Lord is gathering his elect from the four corners of the earth so that all may know to whom they look for salvation. The One and Only, Jesus Christ, The Son of God. Only under his name may salvation be brought to anyone, anything or anywhatever. I testify that now is the time for members and missionaries to work together, as well as members to work with their friends and family. Now is the time that the Gospel will penetrate the very heart of anyone who is willing to allow a sliver of hope in Christ to sink into their soul. Now is the time, DON'T MISS IT!!!
I love you,

Elder Wheeler
P.s. Mother I know that deep down you have some hidden resentments towards me, please let those go and fix my Typos!!! LOVE YA!!!