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Showing posts from 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week #87.2 - Did you really miss me?

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Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

I am all showered and clean again, which means I can now tell you of the extraordinary things that are being thrown down in Sacramento! As you all know I am still where I left off last time, in the Sacramento YSA Branch, which is super legit! We have all these appointments to teach members and help them feel like they are needed in this great work which is taking place, as well as keeping Elder Hinckley and I on our toes with our teaching skills. I hate to inform you, but we have been slacking in our practicing, so we need their help...but that is okay, this way I get to learn how to teach better and these members are feeling a Spirit of "Wow this isn't all too hard, maybe I can share the Gospel"! Sneaky huh?! I know, I have been working on weaving my way into their lives and hearts so that we can now incept the idea of sharing the gospel into their subconscious causing them to just be Gospel sharing fiends for the rest of their live…

Letter From Kelson - Week #87.1 - Did you miss me?!?! I guess NOT!!

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Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

I bet all of you were under the same impression that my mother was, which was that I would not be e-mailing this week because it is Christmas... I hate to tell you this, but you were wrong, so please go repent and I will see you in Sacrament meeting on Sunday! ;) it is Christmas, and I love my peeps, you are all like family, which means you get some lovin' too! 
Since it is Christmas, I have been able to talk with my closer relatives, just because we are closer than most, but that doesn't mean I don't love you as much, I just don't have enough time to face to face you with my lovin'...Please don't cry, there will be a lovely e-mail in your inbox/on the blog when you read this because I love you! See Everybody wins!!  Since everyone wins, lets throw a random dance party!!! 
*Everybody in the house makes some noise*!!! - (This is the part where my mother blasts the Techno music all over the world through her new nifty server/…

Letter From Kelson - Week # 86 - Baaaahh!!! Baaaaahhh!!! - (What the sheep said when the Angel appeared)

Good Morning From Sunny California!!! It was the night before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before Christmas and all through the house, everything was in flames, because someone left the ham in the oven and burned it... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!! Now, this isn't the same Christmas story that we are all used to, maybe this is more around your childhood fantasies... There were in the same field Shepherds abiding in their fields, watching their flocks by night. Then suddenly there was a bright light that appeared and an angel appeared in the midst of the light, and they were sore afraid... Then they were unable to stay and hear the message from the angel because their sheep were fleeing like Japanese people in Tokyo when Godzilla begins his reign. And these were the words of the Sheep as they fled from the scene... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!! Now is this more like it??? No?...What am I missing here??? Oh, I know! I need to talk about a baby of some sort don't I...I got…

Letter From Kelson - Week # 85 - I swear I will never touch the pie again MOMMY!!!

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Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
Lets just get to the good stuff, this whole beating around the bush to make this e-mail much longer and full of more enjoyment just makes things harder for the other missionaries to write their lovely families and fan clubs. I am feeling extraordinarily charitable right now which is why I am cutting to the chase, and leaving all of my usual antics at the door. Aren't you glad I told you?  Otherwise you would have been wondering if I was feeling ok, or if I was having a rough week, or even if I wasn't expecting to ever hear from you again. That would have been super depressing, to never hear from you again...I think I might actually shed a tear, but only one...I can't spare any tears, I have to save those for when my first born child wins the Nobel prize for being born.  This week was pretty relaxed, but also pretty crazy. We had zone training and Elder Allred and I got to train the zone on how to be better missionaries.  Funny, I lear…

Letter From Kelson - Week # 84 - Happy New Year!!!! Hmong that is! XD

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!! It has been approximately 3 days 20 hours 40 min and 15 sec, since I last e-mailed you...Just kidding, I didn't do any math.. Psh! That would be too much work. I guessed; I think someone should actually add it up and tell me what it really was, because it doesn't seem long enough for me to be back here on the old typewriter trying to figure out what my next move is, while juggling a bowling ball, some playing cards and the police who are looking for a convict dressed as an LDS missionary. If you haven't noticed my plea for some relief here is something a little bit more subtle... HELP ME!!!!!! Just kidding, I am doing just wonderful, I am enjoying this work, there are good things going for us, our 40 day fast is working, plus this whole fasting thing is helping me trim off those few pounds I gained via "National Fat Kid Day" on Thursday. For those who were not aware, which is like everyone, we have been doing a 40 day fast s…

Letter From Kelson - Week #83 - Turkey makes me Sleepy...ZzzZzzZzz

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!
That is right! It is the day when all people decide that their desire for eating healthy and losing weight will fly right out the window and hit their annoying neighbor in the face, because we have turned this day into a feed your face until your stomach explodes and then plop your, now massive, butt on the couch and watch some TV... I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY!!! It's a FAT KID'S favorite day of the year, and being a missionary is even better during this time, because if we play our cards right, we can repeat this cycle as many times as we want because members of the Church, at least here in the United States, will gladly have you over to feed you full of deliciously tasty food and then they will make you eat their most delicious pie, and then send you off to another dinner so that you can repeat it all over again and again!!! FOOD!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! My dissertation to this amazing holiday has been concluded. Plea…

Letter From Kelson - Week # 82 - Drop it like it's HOT!

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Good Morning From Sunny California!!! Is it just me, or is it MORMON here?!! (please read the joke out loud and it will make sense) Seeing as how it is currently a beautiful 71 degrees with a slight gusty breeze, I guess it truly is warm in here. I am loving this weather, except for one key ingredient...We are missing Rain, Snow, and maybe some change in seasons. It smells like November, somewhat, but it doesn't feel like November, it seems more like August or May. Now that all of you are either jealous, or just laughing, because you know how much I love cold weather, I will proceed to the highlighted route and then the story telling will start. This past week was pretty fantastic...actually I am just saying that, this past week was super tough. Now I'm not talking FORD Tough, because those break too easily, but I am talking like overcooked steak. There were a lot of things that just didn't seem to go as planned. It almost seems like we were wandering around not doing any…

Letter From Kelson - Week #81 - I love to bowl!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!

This is a really late letter. I am now coming to you live from the bowling alley just down the street from our apartment. This is so awesome!  I love technology and iPads and awesome members who come bowling with us and allow me to write this ridiculously long e-mail on their iPad while we bowl. 

This past week was pretty awesome.  My companion, Elder Allred, is pretty awesome.  We have a lot of things in common and we are having a blast. I am reminded that every companion is meant for me and I don't need to worry too much about what they are good at because we will be compatible. For you inquiring minds, I will tell you a little bit about my zone and their zoneness. My zone consists of 21 missionaries: 18 elders and 3 sisters with 4 different languages being spoken. We have Spanish, Hmong, Cambodian, and English.  There are a lot of things that are going on as we are here trying to baptize all nations, we have 2 planned baptisms this month and…

Letter from Kelson - Week #80 - What the Pho!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!! Wow!! It is that time once again, I am writing on a Tuesday, which doesn't make any sense because our P-day is on Monday... Hum? Why is this? Maybe when Daylight savings time hit, California lost a day; we do have some weird laws here, or maybe there was a huge atomic war and everyone died but us, because we just so happened to be in a fallout shelter, and because we have been in here so long, it seems like a Tuesday, but really is a Monday. I am not sure what could have happened to cause this phenomenon, however, I do know one thing though, I am not leaving the Sacramento YSA Branch anytime soon... Oh wait, I know where I was going with this beginning sentence structure/paragraphical notations that seem to be continuing to grow as I explain that I had an epiphany. It was a TRANSFER Week. That makes a whole heck of a lot more sense than a nuclear fallout and a loss of time and space, or daylight savings falling back a day. Phew, I am so glad …

Letter From Kelson - Week # 79 - HAPPY HALLOWEEN... oh wait, I don't get to trick or treat... :(

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is here! Halloween has arrived and I am sooooooooo excited! Except for the little hiccup of my not being able to participate. I want to dress up like a Pokemon and just run around claiming I am still in my youth, but that I am a really big kid. That would be awesome! Call me childish if you want, but I already knew I, so you will need to come up with something I don't know. Seeing as how Halloween is this week, we as missionaries will be spending the evening in one of our buildings watching the new hit movie "Ephraim's Rescue" (only a hit to members of the church, and those who love inspiring movies) and having a huge dinner provided by the Relief Society Sisters of 3 different congregations. They are so nice here. I could just die from utter joy and happiness. But I know that the only reason you tune into this channel…

Letter from Kelson - Week # 78 - We're taking on Water Captain!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!! It's once again time for the weekly update from everyone's favorite superhero CAPTAIN INJURY!!! How did you like my story last week? Was it good? Scary? Did you have to place both hands over the wee little children's eyes as they imagined the horrifying scene? Did anyone cry? or did you just say, "I expected as much"? I need to know these things. Please let my mother know the answers to these questions so she may return and report to me, and give me an understanding of the feelings of my readers. I need to know these things, just in case I am getting too graphic for those people with sensitive imaginations. The small children should be fine, but I am really thinking about that much older generation that is having to read these things...DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!!! This week was super awesome! We had one of the most memorable baptisms EVER! The person who received the great blessing of being baptized was named Josh and he is on…

Letter from Kelson - Week # 77 - Kicking off Fall the right way, by putting my best foot forward! ;) Take 2!

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Good Morning From Sunny California!!! Hey you! It has been forever! Maybe we should just get sealed together, that way we can be together forever. That way I don't have to find new readers. Seeing as how that is impossible I guess you will just have to keep reading and hope that I don't type forever because if I do keep typing you may end up just having to keep reading until your eyeballs fall right out of your head and roll under the couch, where it is always impossible to retrieve whatever it is, and then you will become the most blind kids I know. *Cricket...Cricket...* Ok, I will leave that out of my stand up act when I finally decide to leave for the show life, but until then I will tell you about my week. This past week was fantastic! We were able to see the baptism of Kylie M., "That was Totally Wicked!!!" (movie Quote ) It was actually "RIGHTEOUS!!!, RIGHTEOUS!!!" (Movie Quote again) There were so many people there that I thought we would have had …

Letter From Kelson - Week # 76 - Pome-grenade Shenanigans!!! - Kicking off Fall the right way, by putting my best foot forward! ;)

Good Morning From Sunny California!!! (Shout out to Elder Eichelberger for the title!) Hey you! I am so sorry it has been forever, but you know how it is, when you are just so popular like me, you never have time to tell people what is really going on because your attention is taken else where... Just Kidding Last week, I went to a place called Coloma! It is the place where Gold was first discovered in California that caused the 1849 rush of the Ages! Anyway, we went, we saw, and I came home with enough money to pay for my whole life...If I were to die this instant maybe, but then my family would have to pick up the bill. I really came home with nothing; sorry to all those who were expecting me to put them through school or anything, I am just not meant for Gold Panning. Thus, I returned home around 5 and had no time to write a letter telling you about the massive amount of fun that I had. Now you are probably scratching your head wondering why the name of this letter is so long and …