Letter from Kelson - Week # 77 - Kicking off Fall the right way, by putting my best foot forward! ;) Take 2!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
Hey you! It has been forever! Maybe we should just get sealed together, that way we can be together forever. That way I don't have to find new readers. Seeing as how that is impossible I guess you will just have to keep reading and hope that I don't type forever because if I do keep typing you may end up just having to keep reading until your eyeballs fall right out of your head and roll under the couch, where it is always impossible to retrieve whatever it is, and then you will become the most blind kids I know. *Cricket...Cricket...*
Ok, I will leave that out of my stand up act when I finally decide to leave for the show life, but until then I will tell you about my week. This past week was fantastic! We were able to see the baptism of Kylie M., "That was Totally Wicked!!!" (movie Quote ) It was actually "RIGHTEOUS!!!, RIGHTEOUS!!!" (Movie Quote again) There were so many people there that I thought we would have had to move into the Chapel to have the service. It didn't happen in the chapel, but it still happened nonetheless. Then this upcoming weekend we are going to be blessed to see the baptism of Joshua T., Super SOLID!! This guy also is like the biggest guy I will ever get to teach. He is like 6'9" and he weighs about as much as a locomotive, but he is built like a locomotive too. We may just have to have three people in the font with him so that we can actually baptize him without anyone getting hurt, or needing to go see a doctor for a strained back. This month our Zone is looking to baptize 8 people and then next month we are planning on baptizing 9 people, and then in December, for White Christmas!!! we are planning on baptizing 12 people! WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO SUCCEED, but not because we are prideful or have anything to do with it, but we are always praying for miracles and these missionaries are some of the hardest working people I know. The Lord blesses those whom he calls if they are diligent, or anxiously engaged in a good cause. There is the update on the missionary work, now for the story which you have all been waiting for...
CAUTION!!!
*This story is one of most epic proportions, please turn off all the lights and grab a box of super buttery popcorn so all the boring parts slip right through your fingers, like the football through Elder Wheeler's hands at the Friday night football game.*
Narrator: It seems to me that all of the best event always start with someone saying a prayer.
(We see someone sitting in a red chair in front of a fireplace. As the camera zooms in, the person begins to speak)
Hi, I am Elder Wheeler and I want to give you the account of my dealing with my fellowman.
(Begins to read the book in his hand...)
It is fall once again, when you walk outside you hear the wonderful wind blow right across your nose with the sweet aroma that only comes when the leaves change colors and you know that it is October. The slight chill of the temperature, mixed with the wind, gives my friends and I an unusual sensation of maybe wearing our jackets today as we leave for the tasks of the day. It is about 10 am and we are just loving this season change. We make our way to the car, conversing and whatnot about the tasks of the day, how we are going to be successful and if we will make this day better than the day before. As we turn one to another in the car before depart a slight thought of happiness goes through my mind of "I think today will be a great day, and I believe I will get everything I need done...YAY!!!" We then leave for our tasks at hand, we shop for the goodies in which we love to eat. We fill the Child's seat in the cart with vegetables, bananas, other fruits, and some good food that will nourish us as we work hard each day. Then we fill the main basket in the cart with all sorts of other things that may help us be good missionaries...Ramen noodles, maybe some junk food, a couple of gallons of milk, and then some Protein Powder so we can say that we will just burn all of these useless calories away as we workout in the morning.
(Pans out from the book for a second to look at the person in the chair)
"It is true, Protein Powder makes calories vanish!!!"
(Pans back down)
We return to our abode, lugging in our 100 pounds of unnecessary food and our 5 oz. of good for you stuff, only to find that we are late for the most fun activity of the day... P-Day Sports!!!
*WAHOO!!!*(Sorry, Narrator interjection)
We quickly change, we run out the door, say a quick prayer and we are off like the lights when you don't pay your electric bill.  Elder Cheney, the speed demon that he is, cruises past the traffic of California, blazing past cops left and right, telling them that we have important things to do, but they are ok with us doing this for they are unable to catch us. We are like greased lightning, Musical Chorus and all.. (Shout out to John Travolta!) We arrive, those of the Zone are waiting for us, for we have the equipment to play the said game they have desired to play. We remove the Most Glorious Spherical object known to man, which is loved by many and causes great competitions all around the world. it is called a Soccer ball!!
*Oh yeah! Loving this already...* (Sorry another interjection...)
We combine in the gym, we start things off right like any activity with missionaries, we say a prayer. Our prayer was said by one of the most competitive people I know, his name is Elder Moua, he speaks Hmong, so of course he says the prayer in Hmong, none of us understand him, be we know when to say "Amen" because its just what Mormons do. The "Amen" is given, we all jump up for joy, and begin the vigorous game of Soccer! There are passes made, players dodged, and goals attempted. The ball is flying left and right; there is no stopping the ferocious players from trying their hardest to get that little ball into the net, or the Red padding on the wall in the gym, Elder Cheney took his excitement from his driving and turned it into his ball playing skills and became the MVP of his team, it was scary!
*Must be Halloween soon...humm  Bad joke?* (I think I will just stop apologizing and keep commentating )
The game continues, there is sweat flying through the air as missionaries glide across the wood floor, spinning with the ball upon their heads, dodging one another, trying to make themselves look like David Beckham, kicking screaming and calling out shots. There is just no taming this animal that has been created by many hours of just straight hard work. Oh wait, maybe there is a taming process possible...
Two missionaries go at it, they are going forth full steam ahead, their engines are about to overheat, their love for the game is showing and they have no idea what will result, but they really want that ball. The ball stays stationary, the best feet go forward, contact is made with the ball on both sides, there is a exclamation of exhaust and relief, along with a heavy exhale and maybe some slow motion.
*Are you watching this in your head? This is getting good!*
One missionary prevails, the other falls to his knees in defeat, as he fall to his knees in defeat his mind reminds him of his loss, through a very unusual process. he looks down, crying from his loss, but really his emotions are going out of whack, as he looks down he notices that his best foot is missing...
*What?!* Just kidding, I threw that in there for Grins and Giggles... Gotcha! ;)*
There is striking pain shooting up his leg into his body, following the trail to his brain and then telling him to sit down for a minute. His pride was not the only thing hurt this day, it seems he has caused some ligament damage to his "best foot"... Fall just started, how could this be? This wonderful missionary has kicked off (soccer) his fall the right (side of body) way, by putting his (Mine) best foot forward (Foot/ankle)...That poor chump!...I wonder what his Grandma and mother would be thinking right now???
(Pan back to the person in the chair)
The rest of the Story has yet to be written, but I guess I will stop there. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Elder Wheeler Theater. Have a sophisticated evening! Good Bye!
Love ya all,
Elder Wheeler
p.s. MOM!!! please look for the typos and know that you are loved. ;)
p.p.s I am fine, there is no need to fear, I am just on crutches for a few weeks that is all. Love ya

Mom's note:  I think the boy should just be wrapped up in bubble wrap sometimes. Wouldn't it be great if people started sending him pieces of it? LOL 

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