Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week #87.2 - Did you really miss me?

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

I am all showered and clean again, which means I can now tell you of the extraordinary things that are being thrown down in Sacramento! As you all know I am still where I left off last time, in the Sacramento YSA Branch, which is super legit! We have all these appointments to teach members and help them feel like they are needed in this great work which is taking place, as well as keeping Elder Hinckley and I on our toes with our teaching skills. I hate to inform you, but we have been slacking in our practicing, so we need their help...but that is okay, this way I get to learn how to teach better and these members are feeling a Spirit of "Wow this isn't all too hard, maybe I can share the Gospel"! Sneaky huh?! I know, I have been working on weaving my way into their lives and hearts so that we can now incept the idea of sharing the gospel into their subconscious causing them to just be Gospel sharing fiends for the rest of their lives...My evil plan is working!!!! MWAHHHH!!!  

Since it is Christmas time I better tell you something Christmasy! 

---

------

How about something funny that happened last night? It happened on Christmas Eve so it is kind of Christmasy! 

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was silent, and the trumpets were blaring! There was a chorus of sounds, and music a playing. As if there was a live band with pop tunes just a rocking! This band consisted of Elder Bennett, Elder Hinckley and myself, between the three of us, we played this game, just like you would with a Kazoo, where you play a catchy pop tune and the other people have to guess what the catchy pop tune is, along with the artist and name of tune. It was intense. Now you might be asking yourself "where did they get trumpets?" but let me tell you, when I was born there was this thing called evolution, and as I evolved from being a wee toddler to an adolescent I pooped my pants at the Walmart. blah blah blah cantaloupe....Um, I meant I learned how to use my newly developed lips. And as I developed this new found ability, there was a desire to push air through these weird things called lips. As I pushed air through these interesting contraption, there was this sound that comes through that is intriguingly similar to the sound of a brass trumpet. As we blew harder and faster we received the sound of a higher pitched note, and if we slowed it way down and blew lightly we started dropping the BASS!!! DubSTEP Trumpeteering!  This is called the AIR TRUMPET! It was so much fun! I think we were up until somewhere around midnight or so, just laying down in our beds squeezing our brains our of our mouths! I think this was a good time, if you don't think so, go rain on someone else's parade, I don't have time for your complaints! 

Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

P.s. We wish you a Merry Christmas! and a Happy New Year!!!! 

P.p.s. MOM TYPOS! - Love ya twice!

Letter From Kelson - Week #87.1 - Did you miss me?!?! I guess NOT!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

I bet all of you were under the same impression that my mother was, which was that I would not be e-mailing this week because it is Christmas... I hate to tell you this, but you were wrong, so please go repent and I will see you in Sacrament meeting on Sunday! ;) it is Christmas, and I love my peeps, you are all like family, which means you get some lovin' too! 

Since it is Christmas, I have been able to talk with my closer relatives, just because we are closer than most, but that doesn't mean I don't love you as much, I just don't have enough time to face to face you with my lovin'...Please don't cry, there will be a lovely e-mail in your inbox/on the blog when you read this because I love you! See Everybody wins!!  Since everyone wins, lets throw a random dance party!!! 

*Everybody in the house makes some noise*!!! - (This is the part where my mother blasts the Techno music all over the world through her new nifty server/cloud and we all enjoy a quick rave!!!)

WOW!!! Some of you have pretty awesome dance moves, you should go on tour and show the world how to shake your booty!! you could make millions, and those of you who are now being voted off the island, don't fret, there are other talents and gifts that God has given you, so don't worry your little heads. I'm all sweaty now, I will go take a shower and get back to you bye...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 86 - Baaaahh!!! Baaaaahhh!!! - (What the sheep said when the Angel appeared)

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
It was the night before, before, before, before, before, before, before, before Christmas and all through the house, everything was in flames, because someone left the ham in the oven and burned it... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!
Now, this isn't the same Christmas story that we are all used to, maybe this is more around your childhood fantasies... There were in the same field Shepherds abiding in their fields, watching their flocks by night. Then suddenly there was a bright light that appeared and an angel appeared in the midst of the light, and they were sore afraid... Then they were unable to stay and hear the message from the angel because their sheep were fleeing like Japanese people in Tokyo when Godzilla begins his reign. And these were the words of the Sheep as they fled from the scene... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!
Now is this more like it???
No?...What am I missing here??? Oh, I know! I need to talk about a baby of some sort don't I...I gotcha covered.
Christmas Story Take 3... Action!
And the Angel Spake unto them saying, "Fear Not! for I bring your good tiding of great joy, which shall be to all people, For on this day, in the city of David is born a Saviour which is Christ the Lord" ...And there came a multitude of heavenly hosts which appeared and they began to sing with angelic voices singing "Glory to God in the highest and Peace on earth, good will towards men!!"
*Slight exhale of relief*  That's the one I was thinking of, thanks for helping me friends. Now on to the real girth of the week that you have all been waiting for.
This past week was super fantastic! We had lots of opportunities to teach with our members, we had the great privilege of seeing hundreds of baby Jesus nativities and we were able to hear the angelic choirs sing their praises to the new born King...Well he isn't new born anymore, but we still celebrate it anyway! Now, there might be some confusion, because people think we Mormons are weird and do weird things, but I am here to let you know that we celebrate the Birth of Jesus for the same reason the angels the first time were celebrating. This reason is that because the long awaited time for Christ to come forth and perform his labors had finally come. And when he came, the faith that we placed in him in the pre-mortal existence was beginning to take form and the miracle of the Atonement of Jesus Christ was becoming a reality. This was a spectacular event, that many people now a days turn away as not, however, I will not be blinded by commercialism, I will remember my God, I will remember my Savior, and I will remember my King, for on this day in the city of David was born my own personal Savior, He was born for me, and you too, but to me it is more personal to think that he was born so that I may live again. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and I pray that all of you may come to this same realization in your own lives. Remember the true meaning of the Holiday season and don't be afraid to share it with those you love. If every one of us were to reach out to just one person this time of year, I can promise that hundreds will feel the Love of the Savior and will desire him as I do. I wish all a Merry Christmas!
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
p.s. By the way it is transfer week, I am staying put.  My new Companion is Elder Hinckley and we are going to see many baptisms, so start sending the prayers, because they will be answered!
P.p.s MOM!!! I know that you have your hands full, and that things just seem to be going crazy for you, but if you wouldn't mind, fix the Typos on your mother's e-mails for her. She has told me of her desire for a typo catcher so I figured I would recommend someone... Love ya!!! oh and TyPos!!!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 85 - I swear I will never touch the pie again MOMMY!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

Lets just get to the good stuff, this whole beating around the bush to make this e-mail much longer and full of more enjoyment just makes things harder for the other missionaries to write their lovely families and fan clubs. I am feeling extraordinarily charitable right now which is why I am cutting to the chase, and leaving all of my usual antics at the door. Aren't you glad I told you?  Otherwise you would have been wondering if I was feeling ok, or if I was having a rough week, or even if I wasn't expecting to ever hear from you again. That would have been super depressing, to never hear from you again...I think I might actually shed a tear, but only one...I can't spare any tears, I have to save those for when my first born child wins the Nobel prize for being born. 
 
This week was pretty relaxed, but also pretty crazy. We had zone training and Elder Allred and I got to train the zone on how to be better missionaries.  Funny, I learned a whole lot more than I was teaching. I think if I were to try and learn all this on my own and not try and train others I would be severely lower in my understanding of how to bring the Spirit into a lesson. We did these things called Real Plays, or Role plays for those people outside the California Sacramento mission. In these real plays there was stumbling, there was laughs and there was a great amount of learning found to be had in all sectors of our training. I love getting to learn and help other learn. I think it might be one of my favorite past-times, up there with DDR and Eating... not baseball though, that belongs to America and I don't even think I want to try and have America's favorite past-time under my belt.
 
Have I got a story for you!  I want you to imagine the many things that you have ever put into your refrigerator and then think about how long it has been there. With that interlude, please continue to read.
 
I went out to the world to teach them about Jesus Christ. There was a sick missionary staying in our apartment, and we asked them to clean out the fridge while we were gone. There were a ton of Thanksgiving leftovers that we were unable to eat because we have been doing the 40 day fast thing, and we also keep forgetting they are in there...Thus why the things in the refrigerator turned into my sophomore science projects. Anyway, we asked them to clean it out and they did. YAY!!! Clean Fridge! When they cleaned out the fridge, they left a lemon cream pie out on the counter top; I think it might have been wanting to go back into the fridge.  I think I might have even heard its little voice crying out for some relief from the room temperature zombies, but alas, we did not return him to the fridge. Well, this pie was just sitting there and as he began to sit there in his solitude he felt it necessary to go through a whole emotional break down and become a Psychotic pie! One who just loves to torture those who forgot to come to his rescue and left him stranded with the room temperature zombies.
 
Elder Wheeler came home from a long hard day of work, he was hungry, and he saw that there was some good looking pie on the counter top!!! YUM!!! PIE!!!
 
*Just so you know, Elder Wheeler is a sucker for pies... Especially Dutch Apple
 
Elder Wheeler indulged in the tempting delicious pie, but when he took a bite he noticed that it had turned sour, Eww!!! Sour PIE!!! I put it back in the fridge to ferment some more and for another missionary to come along and eat it, or turn it into my junior science project. After a nice glass of Hot Cocoa, because it is pretty chilly here now, I went to bed.
 
____ 4 Hours LATER!!! _____
 
SHin GEe DUAH!! (Hmong for Good Bye) Food!!!
 
Everything that Elder Wheeler ate that day came right back out the tunnel that they originally went in to stay...I guess that party inside this Elder was lame and they were trying everything they could to leave the party.  They had no regard for the feelings of others. They just wanted to get the heck out of dodge. Well, that made for a very interesting morning. I don't know who you are, but food poisoning is not fun. Then Sunday came and I was going to church and trying to keep whatever I had inside me and not all over the inside of the chapel. I made it through and now I feel better. I have since become better and I have no need for your sympathies or worries, so stop saying "OMGoodness Elder Wheeler is dying" , or "I feel so sorry for him", but if you must give in to those feeling, you can send me a Christmas/Get well soon package at 8267 Deseret Avenue, Fair Oaks, California, 95628.  No need to hold back on those ;)!
 
I promise I will never eat Lemon Creme Pie again! I have learned my lesson and I will just stick to my Dutch Apple... Hint Hint Wink Wink!!! ;)
 
Love ya and have a Merry Christmas, until Tuesday!
Elder Wheeler
 
P.s. Mom!!! I love you, but I really need you to go over my typos and highlight them in red, so everyone knows how much of a screw up your son was in his high school English class. In shorter terms... TYPOS!!!!

Monday, December 2, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 84 - Happy New Year!!!! Hmong that is! XD

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!
 
It has been approximately 3 days 20 hours 40 min and 15 sec, since I last e-mailed you...Just kidding, I didn't do any math.. Psh! That would be too much work. I guessed; I think someone should actually add it up and tell me what it really was, because it doesn't seem long enough for me to be back here on the old typewriter trying to figure out what my next move is, while juggling a bowling ball, some playing cards and the police who are looking for a convict dressed as an LDS missionary. If you haven't noticed my plea for some relief here is something a little bit more subtle...
 
HELP ME!!!!!!
 
Just kidding, I am doing just wonderful, I am enjoying this work, there are good things going for us, our 40 day fast is working, plus this whole fasting thing is helping me trim off those few pounds I gained via "National Fat Kid Day" on Thursday. For those who were not aware, which is like everyone, we have been doing a 40 day fast so that every day for 40 days, there is a member of the ward who is fasting for Missionary Work. This has been a huge success, the way we have determined who is fasting is, the members of the ward sign up to feed us, and then we make them fast that day until we eat with them for dinner. Although, some days we don't have dinners, then Elder Allred and I have to bite the bullet and fast that day until we break our fast at dinner time. It is pretty rough during some weeks, however, the Lord does provide ways of making things work out for the better, like my new ability to fit in my pants that I have had my whole mission....oh wait, I have never gotten big enough to not wear them... OH SNAP!!! Elder Wheeler knows how to do some weight control... HA! BOOM BABY!!!!
 
The past four days have been almost a blur, but there is something that I am realizing as I am going through each day of this missionary service; I am ALWAYS tired. It is kind of sad, I wake up at 6:30 and I am still beat from the day before, and on top of that we are supposed to exercise for 30 min right when we get up...Don't they know that I am about to collapse due to my inability to comprehend how tired I am? This is insane, but somehow I am still able to wake up every morning and complete this routine, somehow I am still able to function each day, somehow I am still able to be wide awake when I need to be. What is going on here?!?!? Any ideas on why I am able to do this? And then on top of that, I am having the most fun and exciting time of my life....Ok, Hold the Phone!!! What!?!?!?!?! Please tell me WHY!!!! There is no rhyme or reason for it, it makes no sense, when you're tired, you are cranky, and when you are cranky then no one has a good time. Why!?
 
*Now I expect every single one of you to just say all together in unison as you read this all at the same time because that is how it is done in the movies, "It is the Power of God, Silly!!!  Now get back to work!"
 
Oh!!! It is the Spirit of God helping me out, eh!? Well that makes more sense.
 
This past week was pretty fantastic, by the way, if you couldn't tell from the title there was a New Years celebration that I was able to attend. It was called Hmong New Year! The reason I was able to do that is because my companion is a Hmong speaker. YAY!!! Hmong!!! Anyway, I have little time and I must go, but I want you to know that I love you and that I am still kicking it with the cool guys! I love this work, I am glad to be a part of it, and I wish all of you a HAPPY HMONG NEW YEAR!!!
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
P.s. Mom!!! Typos Please!!! Love ya too!