Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Monday, October 28, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 79 - HAPPY HALLOWEEN... oh wait, I don't get to trick or treat... :(

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!
 
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
It is here! Halloween has arrived and I am sooooooooo excited! Except for the little hiccup of my not being able to participate. I want to dress up like a Pokemon and just run around claiming I am still in my youth, but that I am a really big kid. That would be awesome! Call me childish if you want, but I already knew I, so you will need to come up with something I don't know. Seeing as how Halloween is this week, we as missionaries will be spending the evening in one of our buildings watching the new hit movie "Ephraim's Rescue" (only a hit to members of the church, and those who love inspiring movies) and having a huge dinner provided by the Relief Society Sisters of 3 different congregations. They are so nice here. I could just die from utter joy and happiness.
 
But I know that the only reason you tune into this channel is because you want to know what has happened, not about my plans for the future. Seeing as how I am such a nice guy. I guess I will enlighten you on the past shenanigans of this week.
 
Had a lesson with this guy who wanted to get baptized the next day!! Uh WHAT!?!?! Yeah it was crazy, we were just as shocked as you are. Then we talked to some people and worked some things out; but it wasn't possible to baptize him the next day. It was just too soon, now the reason it was for the next day is because he drives a 18-wheeler and is only in town for a few days. We are still working with him, we are calling him while he is away, helping to give him encouragement to go to church wherever he is in the US and then reading scriptures with him and helping him to progress. That way, when he gets back in February or so, he can be baptized.
 
Then we have been struggling to add people to our teaching pool, but we didn't lose hope because that would be utterly preposterous. What kind of missionary loses hope?! We might have been playing on the edge of the cliff in danger of falling off "Hope Mountain", but we have seen way too many miracles to start doubting now. At the end of the week we were out and about and we stopped this kid on a bike. He was totally in need of the Gospel, between his recent move, and the disappointment of not being admitted to college, he needed a good uplifting word. That is what we gave him. I nice pat on the back and a Book of Mormon in hand. We set up another appointment with him, and unfortunately he wasn't there, but he will be there when we go back. I know it! And then God felt compassion on us. He told some other elders to stop and talk to this girl, and so they did, and now we are teaching her because she fell into our jurisdiction since we cover the Young Singles. She is pretty awesome, and she said she would be baptized on the 30th of November!!! WAHOO!!! Miracle! However, God didn't stop there. He then allowed us to struggle all day on Sunday trying to achieve our daily goals. As we struggled, he kept pushing us to try harder, he kept saying, "just keep going I have work yet for you to do."  Then as we showed up, a wee bit late, to our dinner appointment, He said "This is the time you've been waiting for!" We walked up to the door, and I made the brief comment to my companion, "These people are going to have a new investigator sitting at their dinner table for us, and we will be able to achieve our lessons taught to a member present goal, and our new Investigator goal, and receive another referral" I said this in a jovial manner that could have been taken as to be making light of our situation...Little did I know that the Lord was just waiting on the other side of the door with exactly that. We were able to talk about the Gospel quite a bit with this member's less active son and his non-member girlfriend!!! Then we set up the return appointment, gave a Book of Mormon away with a reading assignment, and ended our evening...
 
WHAT!!! This only happens in the Movies!!
 
It happened ladies and gentleman and I guess I will have to just have to say WOW!!
 
That was my Hollywood moment for the week, but I think this is way better than Hollywood, because this isn't faker than fake. This is really what happened and I believe that if I keep doing what is right then I will see more awesome things happen in my life, the kind of things some people only think happen in the movies. I  believe this is the end of my weekly epistle as some may say to my lovely readers back home, but I want you to know that I have a testimony of the truthfulness of the message that I am sharing. i know sometimes I write funny stories, or accounts where I am injured in some way, but that doesn't change the fact the Miracles are happening, lives are changing and that this work is the work of God.  I just get to work for him for a wee bit. I love what I am doing and would never ever ever ask for anything else. I wish I could stay forever. Just don't tell my mother, she wouldn't allow that. She has kind of grown attached to me. I guess I'll serve my time and go from there. Love you all!
 
Love,
Elder Wheeler
 
P.s. This is TRADITION, that makes it OK... TYPOS MOTHER!!!!! Love ya

Monday, October 21, 2013

Letter from Kelson - Week # 78 - We're taking on Water Captain!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
It's once again time for the weekly update from everyone's favorite superhero CAPTAIN INJURY!!! How did you like my story last week? Was it good? Scary? Did you have to place both hands over the wee little children's eyes as they imagined the horrifying scene? Did anyone cry? or did you just say, "I expected as much"? I need to know these things. Please let my mother know the answers to these questions so she may return and report to me, and give me an understanding of the feelings of my readers. I need to know these things, just in case I am getting too graphic for those people with sensitive imaginations. The small children should be fine, but I am really thinking about that much older generation that is having to read these things...DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!!!
 
This week was super awesome! We had one of the most memorable baptisms EVER! The person who received the great blessing of being baptized was named Josh and he is one big man! I think I already revealed his size, but I'll do it again for those who are new to the reading crowd. He is 6'9" easily 400lbs. He is just a really big man. He is also one of the nicest guys you will ever meet, he has a tender heart, a desire to follow Christ, and he likes a lot of the same things I do...YAY! I want to tell you about his baptismal experience, from the point of view of someone looking from the outside in.
 
He stood in the water, about waist high for a normal person or about to his lower knee cap, on the shorter leg.  His smile reached from Maine to Washington skipping over the mountains and shooting straight to Thailand. The light shown in his countenance, his eyes glimmered like stars in the night sky, and his Toga was as white as the driven snow. It seemed as if all of his cares and sorrows were about to be lifted from his shoulders. He felt the peace of the Savior fall upon him as he gracefully went down into the moderately warm water. Down he went, as the death of his old self, and up again to feel revitalized and ready to face the challenges of the next day. When he was down, however, The Toga felt it necessary to stay afloat giving a bit of a hindrance to the ordinance which had been performed. When he arose from the water he gasped for air to breathe in his new life, and the witnesses who stood watching made the subtle but quiet statement...
 
"We're sorry, but you'll need to do it again, the clothes were not submerged with him"
 
*Now to the regular person whom is unaware, this ceremony is so important that it needs to be done exactly correct, and in the correctness of it the clothes need to be completely submerged as well as the person. This is why we needed to perform it again. I will now continue with the recitation*
 
There he stood once again, this time a bit wetter than before, but still glowing and now with much more shimmering, because of the light reflecting off the water on his skin. He still was containing his Joy as he was thinking of all the cool things he was about to do as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  He took another deep breath and waited for the prayer to be uttered. The Prayer was spoken, the Amen was called, and the baptism proceeded. He took one last deep breath and laid back so that he may be submerged in the water. What he didn't realize is that his deep breath filled his lungs and made him more buoyant than before. He floated atop the water, but the Lord needed him to become a member, so the Lord through a still small voice spoke to the Priesthood holder performing the ordinance to lay him down and push him under. he felt two hands push him down submerging his body, and then the cloth in its rebel ways was still floating. The priesthood holder quickly acted, forcing the cloth under the water just in time for everything to be completely immersed in water for one moment. The baptism was completed and Josh came straight away out of the water with the feelings of everlasting joy and happiness. He had done it! He had finished the race to the starting line and then started on the journey to Exaltation. Now the real fun begins.
 
It was super fun to be able to see this ordinance performed. I personally felt the Spirit very strongly and so did the members of the congregation that attended. Josh's mother who was in attendance was very pleased and happy with the service, even though she is not of our faith, she too, had felt the Spirit at that moment. This is just proof that the Spirit will testify to all about the truthfulness of the message of the Restoration. I know that as I open my mouth others can receive the happiness that Josh has just recently experienced.  I long to help others to have similar experiences. I hope the baptism we are planning for this weekend continues to hold strong. We are expecting to be able to see many people enter into the waters of baptism these last few months. We are going for 721 total for the year of 2013. We are only 200 or so short, piece of cake with God's help ;)
 
I also gave a talk in sacrament meeting, it was an amazing talk, from the reviews I have received. The first two speakers were very short winded. I had 30 mins to fill, and I am pleased to announce that I didn't disappoint. I spoke the whole time and I think everyone was engaged in the talk...I guess I really do like to hear myself talk, one of my many flaws that I will deal with. (Note to my Bishop: I don't know if you are expecting me to speak for a long time or not, but it would be wise to put me last...I like to go on and on and on)
 
My week is completed now, and I go off to make more adventures.
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
p.s. MOTHER I LOVE THAT YOU FIX MY TYPOS!!! IT MAKES ME HAPPY! KEEP IT UP!!!
*EXCLAMATION POINT* ( name that talk from conference) ;)

Monday, October 14, 2013

Letter from Kelson - Week # 77 - Kicking off Fall the right way, by putting my best foot forward! ;) Take 2!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
Hey you! It has been forever! Maybe we should just get sealed together, that way we can be together forever. That way I don't have to find new readers. Seeing as how that is impossible I guess you will just have to keep reading and hope that I don't type forever because if I do keep typing you may end up just having to keep reading until your eyeballs fall right out of your head and roll under the couch, where it is always impossible to retrieve whatever it is, and then you will become the most blind kids I know. *Cricket...Cricket...*
Ok, I will leave that out of my stand up act when I finally decide to leave for the show life, but until then I will tell you about my week. This past week was fantastic! We were able to see the baptism of Kylie M., "That was Totally Wicked!!!" (movie Quote ) It was actually "RIGHTEOUS!!!, RIGHTEOUS!!!" (Movie Quote again) There were so many people there that I thought we would have had to move into the Chapel to have the service. It didn't happen in the chapel, but it still happened nonetheless. Then this upcoming weekend we are going to be blessed to see the baptism of Joshua T., Super SOLID!! This guy also is like the biggest guy I will ever get to teach. He is like 6'9" and he weighs about as much as a locomotive, but he is built like a locomotive too. We may just have to have three people in the font with him so that we can actually baptize him without anyone getting hurt, or needing to go see a doctor for a strained back. This month our Zone is looking to baptize 8 people and then next month we are planning on baptizing 9 people, and then in December, for White Christmas!!! we are planning on baptizing 12 people! WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO SUCCEED, but not because we are prideful or have anything to do with it, but we are always praying for miracles and these missionaries are some of the hardest working people I know. The Lord blesses those whom he calls if they are diligent, or anxiously engaged in a good cause. There is the update on the missionary work, now for the story which you have all been waiting for...
CAUTION!!!
*This story is one of most epic proportions, please turn off all the lights and grab a box of super buttery popcorn so all the boring parts slip right through your fingers, like the football through Elder Wheeler's hands at the Friday night football game.*
Narrator: It seems to me that all of the best event always start with someone saying a prayer.
(We see someone sitting in a red chair in front of a fireplace. As the camera zooms in, the person begins to speak)
Hi, I am Elder Wheeler and I want to give you the account of my dealing with my fellowman.
(Begins to read the book in his hand...)
It is fall once again, when you walk outside you hear the wonderful wind blow right across your nose with the sweet aroma that only comes when the leaves change colors and you know that it is October. The slight chill of the temperature, mixed with the wind, gives my friends and I an unusual sensation of maybe wearing our jackets today as we leave for the tasks of the day. It is about 10 am and we are just loving this season change. We make our way to the car, conversing and whatnot about the tasks of the day, how we are going to be successful and if we will make this day better than the day before. As we turn one to another in the car before depart a slight thought of happiness goes through my mind of "I think today will be a great day, and I believe I will get everything I need done...YAY!!!" We then leave for our tasks at hand, we shop for the goodies in which we love to eat. We fill the Child's seat in the cart with vegetables, bananas, other fruits, and some good food that will nourish us as we work hard each day. Then we fill the main basket in the cart with all sorts of other things that may help us be good missionaries...Ramen noodles, maybe some junk food, a couple of gallons of milk, and then some Protein Powder so we can say that we will just burn all of these useless calories away as we workout in the morning.
(Pans out from the book for a second to look at the person in the chair)
"It is true, Protein Powder makes calories vanish!!!"
(Pans back down)
We return to our abode, lugging in our 100 pounds of unnecessary food and our 5 oz. of good for you stuff, only to find that we are late for the most fun activity of the day... P-Day Sports!!!
*WAHOO!!!*(Sorry, Narrator interjection)
We quickly change, we run out the door, say a quick prayer and we are off like the lights when you don't pay your electric bill.  Elder Cheney, the speed demon that he is, cruises past the traffic of California, blazing past cops left and right, telling them that we have important things to do, but they are ok with us doing this for they are unable to catch us. We are like greased lightning, Musical Chorus and all.. (Shout out to John Travolta!) We arrive, those of the Zone are waiting for us, for we have the equipment to play the said game they have desired to play. We remove the Most Glorious Spherical object known to man, which is loved by many and causes great competitions all around the world. it is called a Soccer ball!!
*Oh yeah! Loving this already...* (Sorry another interjection...)
We combine in the gym, we start things off right like any activity with missionaries, we say a prayer. Our prayer was said by one of the most competitive people I know, his name is Elder Moua, he speaks Hmong, so of course he says the prayer in Hmong, none of us understand him, be we know when to say "Amen" because its just what Mormons do. The "Amen" is given, we all jump up for joy, and begin the vigorous game of Soccer! There are passes made, players dodged, and goals attempted. The ball is flying left and right; there is no stopping the ferocious players from trying their hardest to get that little ball into the net, or the Red padding on the wall in the gym, Elder Cheney took his excitement from his driving and turned it into his ball playing skills and became the MVP of his team, it was scary!
*Must be Halloween soon...humm  Bad joke?* (I think I will just stop apologizing and keep commentating )
The game continues, there is sweat flying through the air as missionaries glide across the wood floor, spinning with the ball upon their heads, dodging one another, trying to make themselves look like David Beckham, kicking screaming and calling out shots. There is just no taming this animal that has been created by many hours of just straight hard work. Oh wait, maybe there is a taming process possible...
Two missionaries go at it, they are going forth full steam ahead, their engines are about to overheat, their love for the game is showing and they have no idea what will result, but they really want that ball. The ball stays stationary, the best feet go forward, contact is made with the ball on both sides, there is a exclamation of exhaust and relief, along with a heavy exhale and maybe some slow motion.
*Are you watching this in your head? This is getting good!*
One missionary prevails, the other falls to his knees in defeat, as he fall to his knees in defeat his mind reminds him of his loss, through a very unusual process. he looks down, crying from his loss, but really his emotions are going out of whack, as he looks down he notices that his best foot is missing...
*What?!* Just kidding, I threw that in there for Grins and Giggles... Gotcha! ;)*
There is striking pain shooting up his leg into his body, following the trail to his brain and then telling him to sit down for a minute. His pride was not the only thing hurt this day, it seems he has caused some ligament damage to his "best foot"... Fall just started, how could this be? This wonderful missionary has kicked off (soccer) his fall the right (side of body) way, by putting his (Mine) best foot forward (Foot/ankle)...That poor chump!...I wonder what his Grandma and mother would be thinking right now???
(Pan back to the person in the chair)
The rest of the Story has yet to be written, but I guess I will stop there. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Elder Wheeler Theater. Have a sophisticated evening! Good Bye!
Love ya all,
Elder Wheeler
p.s. MOM!!! please look for the typos and know that you are loved. ;)
p.p.s I am fine, there is no need to fear, I am just on crutches for a few weeks that is all. Love ya

Mom's note:  I think the boy should just be wrapped up in bubble wrap sometimes. Wouldn't it be great if people started sending him pieces of it? LOL 

Monday, October 7, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 76 - Pome-grenade Shenanigans!!! - Kicking off Fall the right way, by putting my best foot forward! ;)

Good Morning From Sunny California!!! (Shout out to Elder Eichelberger for the title!)
 
Hey you! I am so sorry it has been forever, but you know how it is, when you are just so popular like me, you never have time to tell people what is really going on because your attention is taken else where... Just Kidding
 
Last week, I went to a place called Coloma! It is the place where Gold was first discovered in California that caused the 1849 rush of the Ages! Anyway, we went, we saw, and I came home with enough money to pay for my whole life...If I were to die this instant maybe, but then my family would have to pick up the bill. I really came home with nothing; sorry to all those who were expecting me to put them through school or anything, I am just not meant for Gold Panning. Thus, I returned home around 5 and had no time to write a letter telling you about the massive amount of fun that I had.
 
Now you are probably scratching your head wondering why the name of this letter is so long and crazy, just like the writer of these extraordinarily long novels that seem to take up all of your time, causing a huge financial burden on your families because you are late for work due to your total enslavement to the words written on this page. Stop scratching!  You might cause some permanent brain damage once you hit the brain stem. I want to tell you two stories, one will make you laugh, and I think the other may make you cry. Plus, I will have to pound these out in like 20 mins so please enjoy as my fingers catch fire and I will not be able to write next week.
 
Pomegrenade Shenanigans!
 
It was a nice cool morning, which really means that it was somewhere around 80 degrees because my thermometer broke last summer, when the war between missionary and delicious fruit began. There was no warning, there was no cause, but the fruits of the nation were fed up with the poor treatment they receive from the missionaries who love to consume them oh so much! YUM!!! Oh sorry, I got sidetracked thinking about food. Anyway, The leaders of this revolt were the tenaciously devious and somewhat obese Pomegranates of California, not to be confused with the skinny, lame, and quite unappetizing Pomegranates of Southern Ohio that I have yet to try because I was lame.  These devious sons of a fruit basket where in the process of being devoured by a non-missionary who loves them and loves the sweet nectar of their seedy centers. He was waiting patiently for his initial strike, but he knew that the missionary couldn't help but try and help the innocent bystander that was slowly sucking away his life force. The missionary reached forth and said "Hey! I would love to help you with that!" He grabs the pomegranate, he holds it firmly in his hand and pulls back his Hulk hands of Smashing to give it a quick smash to open it up for a faster death. The Pomegranate was desirous for this to happen, all his nights waiting to return the favor of losing so many friends to the stomachs of loving missionaries were about to come into real time play. With his body somewhat already open, he builds up pressure, and then when the Smash of the Missionary's hand comes down on the fruit, he releases his built up anger and resentment and Shoots his inner workings all over the missionary's tie and shirt! As the missionary stands in awe and amazement he looks down at his now defeated foe, who smiles back at the missionary knowing that he has now served his purpose and is now resting in peace. The pictures were taken of the crime scene and the missionary is now being prosecuted for the slaughter of a delicious fruit, maliciously, but the courts are rejecting the pleas so the Missionary is off, unjudged, but the memories of that sad day still linger in his heart every time he sees that white shirt coated in sweet delicious nectar. He feels remorse, and has since apologized to the family of the dead pomegranate, but then he ate the family too.
-The End
 
What do you think? Don't answer that.  Well, I am out of time so the next story will have to wait till next week!
 
We are having great success here in the Sacramento YSA Branch and I have got to say that the Lord has blessed us with great people, great opportunities and happiness all in one wave of delight. This weekend we are going to be able to see the Baptism of one Kylie M, who is so solid, she answered all of the Baptismal interview questions so perfectly that my jaw has yet to recover since last Tuesday when she was given the interview. We also are being blessed to see another baptism next week. Joshua T is being baptized on the 19th and he is the biggest man I have ever seen! He wears a size 24 shoe and just towers over us. He is pretty legit, he has all the right questions and all the right desires. Man, we are just being blessed left and right.  I guess I need to work harder to make the work progress. I have my work cut out for me, Well back to the old grind stone, and I will tell you the story of "Kicking off Fall the right way, by Putting my best foot forward!"
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
P.s. Mom! I love you, in between your puddle jumping, please correct my typos!!! Love ya