Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Monday, September 30, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 75 - Faithful readers!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
Short letter, I had a good week, more details and stories to come next week, I just had a very long and busy day looking for Gold. Thanks for reading and sorry it is a bit small compared to everything else.!! I am still alive too!!
Love ya,

Elder Wheeler
p.s. Not much to check, but you know me, the Typo man! please fix them. Love ya Mom

Note from Mom:

Don't feel bad, all I received from Kelson was the following:

So I went on a trip to Coloma! The place where Gold was discovered, just got back and have 0 time to write. Love ya! I'll write much more next week.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 74 - When Change gives you Lemons, You go to the bank for some Cash! xD

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!
I just want you to know how ridiculously Good Looking all of you look right now! I can just see the beauty radiating from your perfectly proportioned faces, which are in no way wearing a mustache right now because I have Google funny Picture editor on...*cough* I mean, that you all have a certain covering over your lip that may pose a problem in identifying you when your friends come over and ask where you went, because of your Super Spy lip covering that is so amazing that it makes even the most distinguishing features just disappear, and then you will Reply "they went that a way" *and Point both left and right.... I wish I could see the looks on your friends' faces when they realize that they are in fact talking to you and they then feel it necessary to face palm, and walk away because of the shear random and unexpectedness of this notion.
(Please upload any videos of your experience with this strategic lip covering to my blog through my mother if you have them) xD
The title of this segment of writing is called "Look up at the title, because I don't want to type it again", And this is because it has been 6 weeks since my last confession and I have returned to tell you what has happened in the last 6 weeks in case you missed it. I was with Elder Lawrence, which in my opinion should just replace Richard Dean Anderson in a modern version of MacGyver, This guy is totally the new MacGyver, I mean he has super glue, duct tape, anything you may need to make anything run or work...I have been living the dream being his companion and have already decided that we are going to make plans for a trip back out here when we are all done with our Missionary Work. We had fun, and this fun was good fun, it was kind of dirty fun, but that is because we worked on bikes, lawnmowers, cars, did crown molding and sprinklers systems, we did some small electrical was a DIY transfer and I wish it would never end. however, the powers that be, or should I say God, has decided that Elder Lawrence and I are all done together and that we need to be separated. :( So he is getting transferred about 10 miles directly to my east to be in the Elk Grove Stake to be a Zone Leader in their YSA ward. We will be separated from each other by highway 99 and we will only be able to stand on either side and wave as we no longer are companions. Imagine one of those super sad movies where this really cool duo that you have grown to love is separated and there is glass between both of them and then the camera fades out as the train leaves or the disaster strikes and one dies, or something just separates them...That's kind of what it is like this day...Except it isn't quite that sad or depressing, because he will be back to see the baptisms of Kylie and Joshua!!! WAHOO!!!
So, in regards to my title, this Is my Lemon, however, I have gone to the bank and I have received a new companion and I think he is going to be really great!  His name is Elder Cheney, he normally speaks Laotian but he will be joining me as a Zone Leader here in Sacramento. He is ending his mission in 6 weeks and the Mission President has asked me to help him become a Zone Leader...Wa Wa wait a sec!!!  I just became a Zone Leader myself, I have a basic knowledge of what is going down, but I guess the Lord will try me by Fire!!! I look forward to this transfer, I get to serve with a brand new companion, who from the public knowledge is pretty cool, and I get to continue to serve in the Sacramento YSA Branch! I love this job!  If only I could have a coconut and a palm tree with a nice cool breeze and maybe some blue water beach to sit on, then this would be paradise for me!!! Oh Wait! Don't forget the little umbrella in the Coconut and the straw, those are definite necessities for a paradisaical image in my brain!
I love this ward/branch, they make me and our investigators feel welcome. it is like a big family for those who may not have family and I hope that I can keep adding to this family with some more of God's children who are only lost from the truth because they know not where to find it. Wish me luck, October is almost here and Halloween is pretty Scary!!! (I am so excited for Halloween!!! I love this Holiday!)
Love all of you,
Elder Wheeler
p.s. MOTHER! I love you this much >                       < But I want to love you this much >                                                                                  < So please correct my TYPOS!!!
P.p.s  For those who are wondering I may end up making a best of Elder Wheeler's E-mails book when I get home, just because I hate searching for all of my funny stories. If you would like a copy, let me know soon so that I can start thinking of how much I want to charge for these books!!! MWAHHHH I have to start my multi-billion dollar business some how.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 73 - Could I get this "Exchange"d for something cooler?!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

It is a beautiful day here in the Sacramento Valley, there is a nice cool breeze with a hint of supernatural Smoggy flavor, stirred in with some sweaty kids BO...Oh wait that is me... Oops! 
Sports was super fun today, we played a game called SmashBall!! It is a version of volleyball, without a net and lots of angry smashes between teams, and maybe a hint of Four Square! I haven't played four square since elementary school. YAY Memories! 

This week has been off the hook! Pardon my California Beach Bum terminology, but I am talking this week was C-A-RAZY! WE had like 50 gagillionbillionzillion Exchanges this week and it just made this past week go so fast that my brain was blown right out of my skull, went through a timewarp and met me in the future to punch me in the back of the head for trying to schedule so many things all in one week...It was brutal, I have to say that this was the most intense Gibbs slap I have ever received; but this isn't a challenge for those reading to be working on their slapping skills so that when I get home they can just try to out match this Brain-buster 4000 Gibbs Slap! 

We had and exchange with one companionship in the morning and then we switched up around 2ish so that we could then go on another exchange from there until the end of the evening. And then once those two exchanges were done, we went on some exchanges with the Assistants to the President, and that was quite the experience, because within those exchanges there were like 4 other exchanges that took place so that the AP's could work with the newer missionaries in our zone...WO WO WO...I said Wo three times, it must be important. 

This was crazy, but I am running out of time. I think this time is getting shorter by the minute and I haven't even told you about all the fun I had driving around Sacramento telling people that they need to be baptized!!! I guess this story will have to wait for another day, however, next week I hope I will be on a keyboard that wasn't created by a person who thought they had to re-invent the wheel and make typing so difficult by putting this ridiculous hill in the middle as I am trying to type. Maybe it is a good idea for those people who type normally, but I am not normal, as you have read from my letters. I wish everyone the best and I must now hurry and write my mission president because...well that is just what I do. I love you all and wish the very best for you, take care of my little brother who seems to not respond to my messages because he wants me to think he is dead... I am watching you Alaric!!! 

Elder Wheeler


Monday, September 9, 2013

Letter from Kelson - Week # 72 - Time is Money, and I'm Broke!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
I must apologize in advance for the length of this letter, it seems that their ain't no rest for the wicked...and that means no rest for those trying to help the wicked either. Anyway, I am pretty wicked myself, so no self indulged pride there, just making a statement on how little time I have to write this P-Day. We have been going Mach 5 with our hair on fire since 630 this morning, last week...I think that works. It has been crazy, the weeks are blending together, my companion and I are always trying to help out the missionaries in our Zone, and we are striving to be the best Leaders possible, while helping them to aspire to be better missionaries themselves. We also are trying to see success in our own area. There is quite a lot on my plate, and I am wondering what thanksgiving is going to look like...With this much food and I am only in September.
I have some super news! Arturo, the super awesome guy from Stockton that got baptized, well he will be baptizing his family this weekend. He has been a superstar investigator, and Elder Badger has been doing an excellent job being the superstar missionary he was sent to be. I will get to go back on Friday for the baptisms and participate in that joyous occasion. I am soooooooooo STOKED!!!!
We are doing really well here in this area, I know last week I talked about Batman and Robin; well this week will have to just have a slight story of happiness and success. We had a hand off lesson with one of the missionary companionships in my zone, they were teaching someone who was YSA age so they needed to allow us to teach them, that way they would go to church with the people their own age. Anyway, we had this hand off lesson, and this kid is right on the path to becoming a member of this most inspired and sacred Church. He loves the gospel and he just wants to be a part of it. He has some challenges, just like everyone, but his are more around the kind that he just doesn't have a car, which might make it a little hard to make it to church and activities without the aid of the members...Lucky for him, the YSA program here is awesome and the members are Stellar athletes! I love doing this work here in the YSA branch. We have activities all the time, giving many members the opportunity to make friends, as well as bringing non-member friends for us to meet and then teach. I love just working and teaching, it is almost as if this is what I have been working super hard my whole mission for. To be in an area where there is a lot going on. I love it and have fun, there is never a dull moment and I think I like it this way. I still miss the family ward aspect, but I can go visit those when I am not a missionary anymore.  I'll stick with helping kids my own age make covenants with the Lord that will change their lives forever. Well, I need to go, Time is money, and I am broke...hum, that sounds like a good title for this e-mail...hold on a sec while I change it...
Thanks for your patience. love you lots!!!
Elder Wheeler
P.s. MOM!!!! I love you!!!! hope Google Writer can catch TYPOS too!!! 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 71 - Runnin' Runnin' Runnin' Like a Constipated Weenier Dog!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
What a beautiful day it is today! WE have overcast clouds and maybe some rain on the Horizon! ;) Oh Wait!
Good Morning From Not Quite So Sunny California!!!
That's better.
This week was so exciting that I think I will just start at the point where things went crazy! It started going crazy about Thursday. We had Zone Conference this past week and it was my first time getting to sit up on the stand behind the Mission President as I waited to report on how our Zone is doing. We got to report that this month we had 6 people enter into the waters of baptism and we had 5 more on their way...It was really cool because the other Zones had similar situations and the Mission President was happy to hear of our success. I have been at some Zone Conferences where no one is hitting their goals and that's when the Lecture comes; not because we are bad missionaries, but it is to make sure we are held accountable for our goals. If we aren't held accountable then we will be okay with not hitting them all the time and it hinders our growth. 

Anyway, in our mission we have this thing called the High Water Mark, I think I talked about it a couple of transfers ago when I was in South Sac. Well the High Water Mark in the Sacramento Zone was 10. And if you can do some math real quick you will see that 6+5=11...hum I wonder what that means??? Oh I know!, It means that we baptized more people in 1 month than ever before...YAY!!!! It was an amazing blessing from the Lord to be able to be part of this great achievement. These missionaries have been working hard and have put forth their hard efforts to go out and spread the Gospel and we can see the fruits of their labors being made evident. This was the greatest time to be part of this Zone and I am glad that I was able to help this happen. But it almost didn't happen and let me tell you why...(Story Time...YES!!!)

Now look up at the Title, now back to the words, and back up at the title and then back at the words...SADLY the title gives away the scene of the story, but that doesn't matter I will tell it anyway...hehe (Old Spice Reference)
Now do you remember the old Batman and Robin movies (I am talk way old)...Well I don't I am not that young, but I want to tell you how one of them could have gone down, and how it totally could have been as funny as releasing a box of starving crazed weasels onto someones face.  (Its funny at first, but it hurts later) Anyway now that I am done introducing the story and stalling with enough time to think of where I want to go with this, I will start to type. This story is about Batman and his trusty sidekick Robin. These two superheroes had everything going for them on this one weekend in which they are had planned out how they would foil the Joker's plan, save the damsel, keep Gotham safe and make sure to be home in time for dinner. Now the reason Batman and Robin could plan like this is because they were just totally awesome back then, plus they have already seen how sinister the Joker could be so they anticipated his diabolical scheme and then made preparations for his soon quick trip to Arkham Asylum once again. Today was going to be a good day for Batman and Robin, but then Joker and his Diabolical scheme decided that he was going to be even more diabolical than the times before...Dirt Bag... Joker decided that this time he was going to be so evil that he was going to plan something good... Oh man, that guy is evil. He wanted to take his family out for a camping trip and show them how to enjoy the great outdoors...Who is this guy? He really has been making life for Batman and Robin difficult.  Now you might ask, why is this so evil? well, I will tell you. When Batman and Robin are not out saving the world, they are actually Elder Wayne and Elder Grayson, and they had been teaching the Gospel to one of Joker's Daughters (trying to stop his evil from inside his home ).  His daughter loved the Gospel of Jesus Christ, so much so that she wanted to be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Chris of Latter-day Saints. Everything was set up that she was to be baptized on the 31st of August 2013 at 7pm. Well Joker so happened to plan his family camping trip on that weekend...Now you know why he is a Dirt bag.  Our heroes received a panicked phone call from the young lady and she starts to tell them that she is unable to be baptized on that just so happened that this phone call was made at about 5pm on Saturday the 31st...even more diabolical, Man that guy needs to stop being so evil. Well, Batman and Robin spring into action. 100 phone calls and about 5 gallons of sweat molded bullets later she was found a ride and the baptism would go on. They found a way for her to get baptized and then be taken to the camping location to spend the rest of the weekend with her lovely dad and mom. Once the baptism started they found out that Joker had had a change of heart and would not be leaving until the morning...ooooooo that guy is evil. Oh man, I guess it helps to keep the heroes on their toes. In the end, she was baptized, and it was awesome. There was Much Rejoicing, and Joker was spared his trip to Arkham Asylum. 
* No animals or people were harmed in the making of this story*
That is one crazy weekend huh? I guess next time we will make sure to have everything absolutely perfect so that even Joker can't foil it. ;) The girl who got baptized has a very nice family, they are not anything like the Joker, I just used it as an allusion to make it seem interesting. I have learned this day though that when you approach something good for you, like coming closer to Jesus Christ, Satan will do everything in his power to draw you away. Because once he has lost you he has no one to be miserable with. I love each and every one of you and I hope that you enjoyed my story/awesome comic that will be published one day.
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
P.s. Mom!!! I know you are having so much fun doing mom stuff and making the house beautiful, but when you get the chance please correct my Grammatical, spelling, and non-real-word errors...
P.p.s Sorry I tried to be fancy... TYPOS!!!!