Kelson Homecoming Countdown

Monday, July 29, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 66 Part 2 - Imagination LAND!!! You are too Slow!!! I needed the Response NOW!!!

Good Morning from Sunny California!!!
 
YOU ARE ALL FIRED!!! I NEEDED A GOOD IDEA OF WHAT TO WRITE AND YOU ALL BLEW IT!!! GOSH, YOU CAN'T FIND ANY CREATIVITY IN THIS WORLD TODAY ANYMORE. DUMB SCHOOL SYSTEMS AND THEIR BUDGET CUTS!!!
 
This week was pretty awesome! We had a couple of days there where I felt like I would just fill my brain with silly string and then play with helium all day, but I didn't.  You are probably wondering why I would do both of those things, but after a few days of spending  6 hours in the hot sun, riding on a bike from appointment to appointment, only to find out that everyone really meant to cancel on you and your goals are going down the toilet, just like the brown winning the Super Bowl, It kind of makes you wonder what is up with this world today. However, there was some deliverance. never doubt God, he always answers the prayers of his children. Even if they are a little whinny and need a diaper change because they are acting like a toddler being potty trained.
 
Anyway, So this week we had a bit of a struggle to hit some goals, but there is this guy, you see, who is totally solid. Like, I meant this guy is like Superman's chest meets Chuck Norris' Thunder thighs mixed with a vat of beef Stroganoff exploding! That is way solid!!! His name is Arturo and he was an atheist but 4 weeks ago. When we first started talking to him, he just started off by telling us that he wasn't interested because he had already talked with a lot of preacher people, between Baptists and JW's and everyone else that wants his attention. He just was telling us to not waste our breath. So we didn't waste our breath, we placed great questions into our conversation and he said that he liked us so he said we could come back...Well he missed his follow up appointment and then we were afraid that this was not going to work out. A week later we stopped by and he said that he lost our number and that he meant to call us. Some people just say that, but this guy was for Cereal! He even read the pamphlet we gave him and then he started asking us questions about the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  We started talking to him and made more appointments, he kept them and his family started to become interested because he has been an atheist for so long that he just was making a huge change.  He came to church yesterday and he told us that he wants to be part of this church. He wants to have the joy that comes from what he is feeling to be with him always and he said he was definitely coming back next week, but next time with his whole family. We then asked him if he would be baptized. He said that he would, and has the date for baptism set for the 24th of August!!! This is Awesome! Elder Badger and I have been working super hard to build up this area and now we are seeing the success from our labors!! No matter how bleak it looks there is always something brighter on the horizon. 

I have learned to not be frustrated with God. Frustration comes from unmet expectations, and He has always Exceeded mine. So, in essence, I can't be frustrated with him...guess I have to figure out how to be patient and happy at the same time.
 
Enjoy this letter, and I know that my mother is freaking out right now about the fact that there are two letters. hehe that is what I do...
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
P.s. MOM TYPOS AGAIN!!! you know I really love you...hehe but I need to give you a hard time.

Letter From Kelson - Week #66 Part 1 - Imagination Required (Insert a Catchy, but Awkward Title so that you feel creative)

Editor's (Mom's) Note:
Sorry about the delay in getting Kelson's emails out from the past few weeks.  I was unable to work my magic on his emails from my cell phone at Boy Scout National Jamboree.

This week's email is actually 2.  The first is a prime example of Kelson being silly and consists of an email conversation we had yesterday while he was writing the REAL letter.   He wanted me to send the entire conversation out to you, so here goes...

Kelson's First Volley:
Good Morning From Sunny California!!!
 
I hope that the people in which I have placed great trust, You, can use your imagination and come up with a better title than I can. I am suffering from a huge brick wall of writers block that causes the creative juices to ooze out of my ears and into a glass which my Zone Leaders are now drinking because they seem to want me to become a little bit less embarrassing. (Just Elder Maxfield)
 
*snatch* I have a glass of creative juices now, no Preservatives and No High Fructose Corn syrup, here we go, "DOWN THE HATCH"
 
*CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG*
 
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Refreshing, so now that I feel like I can type something positively exciting and beyond the imagination of any little 7 year old with the mind of Stephen Hawking and the wit of a toothbrush I guess I should ask you what you want to hear... So what do you want to hear from me? Please respond to this e-mail quickly for I only have a limited amount of time. Thanks.
 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler
 
p.s. Mother, I expect only the best grammatical corrections out of you, If they are not up to my standard I will be forced to provide you with 15 lashings with a wet noodle.

My Response:
This is an incredibly short email.  Is there another one coming?

Kelson:
What do you think? I expect responses within 10 mins, you had better send it quick so I can know what to type on.
p.s. Don't forget about the Typos

My Response:
I'm the only one to see the message that quick. ..
Ron Rice wants to hear the "Reflections of an Elder at a nudist beach".
See what you get when you leave your topic up to your audience?

Kelson:
The reflection was too much, there are only white people there and I was blinded by the white the first time I tried to look. I think God doesn't like those kind of things. Sorry Ron, no dice on my experience.

oh, come on Mom work it out somehow

My Response:
So, what email am I going to send out to the masses and post on the blog?

Kelson:
I think you might figure it out...just have faith, repent, be baptized, receive the Holy Ghost and then endure to the End.
 
Love ya,
Kelson

Put the whole conversation!!!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 65 - USTIKUYD

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

It be nice to see ya'll this day! I git to right this day becuz I feel awsum! I am yer new mishionry. Im frum meroni utaha, end I woant to no "Whit R u Jakwagons Laughin et?! 

Ok, sorry, I was trying to be Redneck, but it seems I can not. Please don't get angry with me if you are a redneck reading this and you feel offended. I have a Zone Leader who is from Wyoming and we make fun of his accent and the way he talks/texts all the time. He is super chill and we enjoy his speech all the days of our lives (not the soap opera). He also has a pretty nifty bull whip that we have all taken the opportunity to take a crack at! ;)

This week was awesome!!! There are so many good things that have happened that I will have to put them into a story because I promised last week, which you are now receiving this week because of a delay that has taken place due to the trip to National Scout Jamboree by my mother and brother.

May the Story begin...

It was a light and clear day, opposite of a dark and stormy night ;).  There was a young man who was off on a journey of epic proportion. He battled the elements of fire, hail, wind, fire again, and maybe a little bit of wind. As he fought he met these damsels, or domsels...because there are both men and women in distress because of the purposes of this epic journey. 

Man this story is kind of lame...hold on let me revise a few things...

The Lone Missionary was riding upon his iron horse across the plains of Stockton, accompanied by his sidekick Elder Tonto.  They decided that they just wanted to blow this whole place up!!! Just like the movie was described to them in great detail by those people who they meet with and feel compassion on them for their inability to watch movies. And by blow up, we mean submerge in the holy waters of Baptism. 

Now we follow our heroes into the big city, where there is the evil Dr. Sunshine and his evil minion Windy! Everyday there seems to be a frontal offensive by these two evil doers as they strive to cool everyone down in the waters of baptism. However, our heroes are not stopped by these feeble attempts because, lets face it, We just look awesome, and when things explode we just walk away slowly and don't look at the explosions...Oh yeah I went there. After battling these evil villains the two heroes find a family of hostages who seemed to be untied and just ready for them to take them back into safety (The evil elements just seem to have a lack of preparation when it comes to making the rescue process difficult, maybe they should go back to Evil villain school to become better at what they do?) and away from the evils of conspiring men/elements.  This family has the name of the Gonzales Family. 

Our heroes have been searching high and low for these people and they have finally found them, and as they have found them they are proceeding to take them to safety away from those things that would destroy their family. On Wednesday the heroes will be escorting them to the Safe house and when they are there they will take a tour. Once they have seen the tour they will be more likely to come visit the safe house once a week for 3 hours to receive instruction and inspiration on how to better their lives. It is going to be awesome!! And they are seriously considering this safe house for life. It seems that the hard work of our heroes is finally paying off. Now all the Heroes have yet to do is invite them to enjoy the cool refreshing taste of the cool blue waters of Baptism!!! I think they may take them up on the offer. It seems that they have been prepared for a long time, or they have been working the strands of rope off of their wrists and feet so that when we showed up to rescue them they were like "Where have you been!!!" Then we stare back at them and shrug with a face of "Sorry" 

I know this story was not up to the par of the last one, but you know it is easier to describe the damage afflicted to my own flesh than to have you hear a different story of heroes villains and rescuing of damsels, or domsels that I haven't already told you. I need to work on my creative juices this week and I will get back to you... Okay?

Keep up the e-mails, the prayers and the happy moments!!! 
Love ya,
Elder Wheeler

P.s. Mother I feel that I have been very mean to you in the past about my typo correction requests, with that in mind I would like you to forgive me one more time as I exclaim, TYPOS!!!! I love you, even though it may not seem that way! 

Monday, July 15, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 64 - I have been doing this a Long TIME!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

I bet you are wondering if I am acting a little Trunky.  Well stop thinking that because I am not. I just realized that today is the 13th Anniversary of "My BAPTISM" into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is significant because I have been privileged to help others to take the step that I took when I was 8 years old. I have been trying to help people a long time and I now have the ability to see that I can keep going. It is just crazy that 13 years ago today, that my cousin Kurt went down into the water and he baptized me into the Church of Jesus Christ. He said those special words, or prayer, that accompany the Ordinance and then he immersed me in water for the remission of my sins. 

That day was the day that I decided that I was going to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. That was the day that I promised my Heavenly Father that I would obey, even though I may stray, I must obey. That was the day that I knew that I was a divine Child of God and that all of the people in this world are my brothers and sisters. All of these things have come back to my remembrance as I have grown, as I have struggled in life, as I have disobeyed, and as I have learned the greatest wisdom ever known to man, and that is that no matter what your circumstance and no matter how disobedient you have been, there is forgiveness and hope through the Infinite power and reach of the Great Mediator and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

I have seen the power of forgiveness in my life and countless others. I have shown people the happiness and joy that come from knowing that there is an all knowing omnipotent being whose sole purpose is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. I have been blessed to share this message with people who feel that there isn't anyone who knows what they are going through, or that there isn't anyone who loves them. And the Response that I give them is this, There is someone who loves you! There is someone who cares! There is a way to have happiness in this life and in the next. There is healing from guilt that bogs you down and causes feelings of shame and uncertainty.  All you need to do is ask for his help, be willing to change from the carnal ways of the world and become a follower of Christ.  

Now you may say that I am boasting of myself, or that I need to be humbled because I am just going on preaching a sermon, but I hope that you understand that I am not boasting in myself, but I am boasting in my God, for through him have many miracles come to pass. I am rejoicing in his love and trying to share it with those whom I hold dear. I can not change the world, but I can provide the opportunity for it to change itself through Jesus Christ. I have felt the peace and Joy that come from his Redeeming Love and I long to share it with my readers. Thanks for sharing 21 years of growth, and 13 years of discipleship with me. I hope to be able to continue to magnify my God through my actions everyday. Give yourselves a pat on the back, because I can't do it right now. I love you all and hope that you enjoyed this letter and if you didn't I will be back to telling stories next week. I promise! XD

God be with you until we read again!,
Elder Wheeler

P.s. Mother, I love you and because I love you I ask that you correct my typos. Thanks a bunch ;)

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 63 - No Hablo Taco Bell!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!! 

For all of those wondering, my high school Spanish was a waste of my time, talent and energy, but then again, I didn't put a lot of effort into it anyway, so I guess it is what I put into it...Darn, I just thought that was a catchy saying that the kids were using these days... My Spanish is not coming along, and I don't think I will have to worry too much about it, because I know that the Lord has my back, or at least my tongue on special order if need be. He is a pretty smart Father, and he knows exactly what I may need, so If He tells me to be a Spanish missionary, I will butcher it until he tells me to stop...hehe 

This week was something of superbnastical proportion!!! Yeah, I went there...What ya going to do? We have had so much going on I have not even had time to get a new planner. I have been using my old one all week. And I won't get a new one until Tuesday.  It was a supply problem, not me, however I am able to suffice without it. Anyway, the reason this week was so superbnastical, is we Finally had 2 INVESTIGATORS TO CHURCH!!! WAHOOOO!!! It was awesome! The first time since I have arrived in Stockton that we have been blessed with people who actually wanted to come to church. This is a huge milestone, because that means they are that much closer to baptism and that means that Elder Badger and I are that much closer to having to start all over again!!! I love it! The ending, seems kind of depressing, but who cares!? It is a baptism, someone is taking the step of changing their life towards Christ and covenanting with God to make everything better in their life!  Actually, one of the people who came to church accepted the baptismal date of July 27th, and he is working hard to reach that date. We will probably meet with him tomorrow and try to stress the importance of his habit cutting and then show him how to do it through Christ.  Also, I am praising Grandmas right now, because there was a family who had an active member grandma come into town and we were able to see these two young boys make it to church as well as their mother!!! And these boys want to get baptized too!!! 

THIS IS TOTALLY WICKED!!!  (Modified Movie Quote, Guess it)

Stockton is chock full of people who just want to know what to do right, and I guess we are here to steer them in the right direction. I pray for a continuance of this great and wonderful happy time as we work hard and remain diligent to God's command. 

Now,my letters wouldn't be complete without me telling you about how I hurt...

Oh wait, Next time...

Love the work, Love the people, Love the Weather, what more could I ask for...? A ferrari, big house...oh never mind, just some people who want to join the church

Love,
Elder Wheeler

p.s. MOM!!! I know you are busy doing mom stuff, but you know you could help a brotha out and fix those typos or grammatical errors...Thanks! 

P.p.s. I didn't hurt myself, but I bet you face palmed just thinking about it...

P.p.p.s. This letter seems really short, and I think it needs more meat, so I am going to add this ridiculous triple post script so that it makes it seem much longer than it really is, and then you, the Reader, will get a quick chuckle because well, I am acknowledging the fact that this is a short letter and then writing to tell you about it, and it is just situationally weird so it makes for a good laugh.  You are now having a brighter day and I feel like I am writing about a really long week, but really I am just writing a bunch of fillers because this is how I made it through High School English...Just keep writing until it is so full of words that they stop reading and just accept that you know what you are writing about and will just give you an A...Is it working? Have you stopped reading, or are you going to continue until I am blue in the fingers? I can go on forever, ask my mother.  She hasn't ever heard me speechless, at least I don't think, and then when that happens some huge event is made from this lack of words. Ok, well I am going to stop writing now, because I am bored of staring into this computer screen and need to go get some real work done. OK, see ya!!!

Love again,
Elder Wheeler

Friday, July 5, 2013

Letter From Kelson - Week # 62 - Looky Looky!!! I got a Cookie!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

Happy Birthday Elder Badger!!! It was his birthday yesterday and I want the whole world to know that he is appreciated. Oh and I guess it was my birthday too on Sunday.  Well thank you all for your many Birthday wishes and gifts. I received my first Adult Beverage on Sunday morning as well as a bunch of pond rocks and a few dead trees (crumpled paper). It was a Mormon Adult beverage though, so it was a 2 liter of Mug Root Beer, without the Roots... You see what they did there...it seems that Elder Wheeler has found some comedians in Sacramento and will return the favor, with his very Diabolically evil designs for Birthday surprises...MWAHHHHAAAHHHH!!! I also received a surprise package from a family of 4 in Washington who just flew in under the radar and provided great entertainment, with some bubbles and you guessed it.... COOKIES!!! And then I got more Cookies from another Great Family, and Cake Balls from another great Family, and I have ruined my diet for the rest of the year...I will never be 140 again... That's ok, I don't want 140 anyway, that is just sickly looking, I want to be 175 and cut like a diamond. Oh man, and I received a useful tool that allows me to keep the California girls off my back, I have lots of Thank yous that need to go out, and since I am terrible with thank you cards, I suppose that I will send you one in about 100 years or so, so keep an eye on the mail for them.

As for all those people who where on the edge of their seats last week about the story, did any of you really guess what happened, or are you just party poopers, waiting for the sequel to come out so you can read what really happened. If you didn't put in a guess you stink, and if you did, There will be a check in the mail within 5-10 business days of the arrival of Elder Wheeler's multi-billion dollar business movement. Without further adieu the conclusion of the story...I can't remember the title, oh well.

As the young cyclist flew through the air as a great swan flying through the brisk Warm morning of the Summer Solstice, he soon met his long lost friend, Mean Old Mister Gravity, with whom he is so well acquainted. Mr. Gravity said, "hey, you...You have no business in the air, and besides the story may say you are like a swan, but you are more like a pumpkin being hurled through a giant vat of Green jello, with a starving hyena biting at your toes. So, I will put you where you belong."  With a swift motion he threw the cyclist down hard into a hole of dirt and rocks, maybe some trash, needles, and bio-hazardous materials. With the sudden change in altitude the poor guy found himself with the release of blood from parts of his body, pain shooting through his joints as he found the hardest rock of all the rocks in the seven seas and made a full-throttle attack with his knee cap! The pain was so much that he stood up, looked at his comrade and just laughed it off. The Blood Dripping from his hands and the tears fading from his eyes, because real men don't cry, (unless they are watching the notebook with their girlfriend) the dirt on his pants shows the love he has for the work and his total awe and amazement, leaving his emotions, as he realizes that there was no one recording the whole thing.  He stands up and cleans his wounds with hand sanitizer and warm water, and rides on to finish the day. Now the success comes  20 minutes later when someone was hoping that they might find a fellow biker with a bike pump to fill a flat tire they might have had...and the referral was passed on and success was restored to the work....end of story, I am running out of time otherwise I would have elaborated more.

Since then I, the cyclist, has been to the Doctor, received the "no biking" command and have a brand new 2013 Corolla!!! YAY and it is hitting record high temperatures!! Saved by the Bell!  this past week was transfers, I am still where I was, but I am now the District Leader in the Spanish district and have 6 more weeks to finish training Elder Badger. The Work is progressing nicely; we have potential for a baptism this month, so please pray for our success, we have lots of people to teach and there desire to learn is there, now we just need to teach them correct principles. Oh, and for your information, there were two baptisms in my last area this past month that I was able to attend, so I am being blessed for the success of other missionaries!!! 

Trying my best to make the Lord happy,
Elder Wheeler

p.s MOM!!! I am sorry, I haven't learned and I will most likely never learn that I should tell you all the details of my injuries, and TYPOS!!!

P.p.s I am sorry to my loyal viewers who are wanting to hurt me for hurting myself, I have a problem and I am slowly trying to fix it...maybe