Letter From Kelson - Week # 62 - Looky Looky!!! I got a Cookie!!!

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

Happy Birthday Elder Badger!!! It was his birthday yesterday and I want the whole world to know that he is appreciated. Oh and I guess it was my birthday too on Sunday.  Well thank you all for your many Birthday wishes and gifts. I received my first Adult Beverage on Sunday morning as well as a bunch of pond rocks and a few dead trees (crumpled paper). It was a Mormon Adult beverage though, so it was a 2 liter of Mug Root Beer, without the Roots... You see what they did there...it seems that Elder Wheeler has found some comedians in Sacramento and will return the favor, with his very Diabolically evil designs for Birthday surprises...MWAHHHHAAAHHHH!!! I also received a surprise package from a family of 4 in Washington who just flew in under the radar and provided great entertainment, with some bubbles and you guessed it.... COOKIES!!! And then I got more Cookies from another Great Family, and Cake Balls from another great Family, and I have ruined my diet for the rest of the year...I will never be 140 again... That's ok, I don't want 140 anyway, that is just sickly looking, I want to be 175 and cut like a diamond. Oh man, and I received a useful tool that allows me to keep the California girls off my back, I have lots of Thank yous that need to go out, and since I am terrible with thank you cards, I suppose that I will send you one in about 100 years or so, so keep an eye on the mail for them.

As for all those people who where on the edge of their seats last week about the story, did any of you really guess what happened, or are you just party poopers, waiting for the sequel to come out so you can read what really happened. If you didn't put in a guess you stink, and if you did, There will be a check in the mail within 5-10 business days of the arrival of Elder Wheeler's multi-billion dollar business movement. Without further adieu the conclusion of the story...I can't remember the title, oh well.

As the young cyclist flew through the air as a great swan flying through the brisk Warm morning of the Summer Solstice, he soon met his long lost friend, Mean Old Mister Gravity, with whom he is so well acquainted. Mr. Gravity said, "hey, you...You have no business in the air, and besides the story may say you are like a swan, but you are more like a pumpkin being hurled through a giant vat of Green jello, with a starving hyena biting at your toes. So, I will put you where you belong."  With a swift motion he threw the cyclist down hard into a hole of dirt and rocks, maybe some trash, needles, and bio-hazardous materials. With the sudden change in altitude the poor guy found himself with the release of blood from parts of his body, pain shooting through his joints as he found the hardest rock of all the rocks in the seven seas and made a full-throttle attack with his knee cap! The pain was so much that he stood up, looked at his comrade and just laughed it off. The Blood Dripping from his hands and the tears fading from his eyes, because real men don't cry, (unless they are watching the notebook with their girlfriend) the dirt on his pants shows the love he has for the work and his total awe and amazement, leaving his emotions, as he realizes that there was no one recording the whole thing.  He stands up and cleans his wounds with hand sanitizer and warm water, and rides on to finish the day. Now the success comes  20 minutes later when someone was hoping that they might find a fellow biker with a bike pump to fill a flat tire they might have had...and the referral was passed on and success was restored to the work....end of story, I am running out of time otherwise I would have elaborated more.

Since then I, the cyclist, has been to the Doctor, received the "no biking" command and have a brand new 2013 Corolla!!! YAY and it is hitting record high temperatures!! Saved by the Bell!  this past week was transfers, I am still where I was, but I am now the District Leader in the Spanish district and have 6 more weeks to finish training Elder Badger. The Work is progressing nicely; we have potential for a baptism this month, so please pray for our success, we have lots of people to teach and there desire to learn is there, now we just need to teach them correct principles. Oh, and for your information, there were two baptisms in my last area this past month that I was able to attend, so I am being blessed for the success of other missionaries!!! 

Trying my best to make the Lord happy,

Elder Wheeler

p.s MOM!!! I am sorry, I haven't learned and I will most likely never learn that I should tell you all the details of my injuries, and TYPOS!!!

P.p.s I am sorry to my loyal viewers who are wanting to hurt me for hurting myself, I have a problem and I am slowly trying to fix it...maybe