Letter from Kelson - Week #25 - What the What!?!?!?

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!

Howdy do dee!!! Welcome to the Wheeler show, I am your host Elder Wheeler and for the next few minutes your brain will ooze out your ears, so enjoy the head cleanse and I'll talk to you when you pick your thought up off the floor.

This whole week has been super intense!!! I have been sick with some kind of sinus JUNK and I hate it!!! My intelligence has been trying to escape my brain through my nose, my ears are in deep water submersion and my lungs have been going on strike when I try to sleep...they keep using the intelligence from my brain to clog the "airways.... It all started with the change of the season I guess, we have had a beautiful week with overcast clouds and temperatures in the 70's. I wish it would just T-Storm already, but evidently that doesn't happen here. This lack of weather is causing me depression, not enough to effect me, but I do wish I could wait 30 minutes and the weather would change...hehe (Good ol' Ohio!!)

Even though I have been sick there has been a lot that has been going on. (I do work while sick, I have improved from slacker to dead beat in training!) I'll start with the fun stuff and end with the more serious and cooler things. First off we were going over to Pery's (video guy) and we noticed a blood trail leading to his front door, and then away again...hum so as we knocked we asked him about it and he said that he didn't know what it was, Leavitt and I smelled something, but we couldn't see anything so we just shrugged it off and went on with our daily lives. ...We interrupt this program to bring you a special report from El Dorado Hills!!!...

There has been rioting in the streets, animals are going crazy, there have been many sightings of Wild Turkey, Deer, and Mountain Lions roaming the streets and the citizens want someone to do something, but there is no one available to do anything, because they are all held up in their really big houses!!!...What will we Do?!?!?.....We now return to your regularly scheduled programming...

There are these families that we have been teaching and I know that I haven't told you anything about them, but here it goes. We have been teaching the McDermott's and they are awesome!!! The Mother and Father's names are Pina and Pat, they have 5 children: Pat Jr. - 28 Nick - 26 Kristin - 23 Mike - 21 and Austin - 17 Their whole family is CRAZY!!!! We are teaching Pat and Pina, along with Mike and Austin. The other kids really aren't interested, but they will join eventually. This family is a referral, meaning that a member sent us to them, or brought them to church to meet us and introduced them to us. When we met them things were pretty straight forward and then we found out the CRAZINESS behind the family. I will not disclose anything, but I will say that we are teaching them with power and authority and they want to be baptized...I think?! Pat really wants the Priesthood and Pina wants stability in their family life. We are hoping that after this week of teaching them that they will accept the date to be baptized on the 27th of October!!!! Exciting stuff ain't it!!! (Yes I just used ain't, what you gonna do...Sue me???) We are also teaching this guy his name is Wolfgang...Super cool name BTW...He had a friend in Desert Storm who was a member and he noticed something different. After the war they went their separate ways and then met up like 20 years later. His friend got called back to go fight in Afghanistan and was Killed in Action. Sad I know, but here comes the good part. Wolfgang had a dream with his friend in it, telling him that he needed to join the church, because he already knew it was true...So Wolfgang flew to Salt Lake City to visit with his friend's family and has been progressing in the gospel ever since. We are waiting on an answer to his prayer about him also being baptized on the 27th!!! I love this work!!! Oh and another thing, I found out this week that an investigator I taught in my last area wants me to go back and baptize her!!! What the What!?!?!?

Holy COW!!!! And I do mean that!!! There are crazy things going on over here in California and I am loving every minute of it!!! For all those who are wondering, my companion right now goes home on the 1st of November, and I will definitely be staying here in El Dorado Hills for at least another transfer. Together we are having a pretty awesome time. We get along, we stay up late swapping manly stories, and in the morning we always make waffles...Maybe not waffles, but we do make chicken!!! 

I am seeing the Lord's hand in everything I do here, and I am so thankful for the great blessings he has bestowed upon me and the people here at the request of a lowly, prideful, full of himself, chubby kid named Elder Wheeler. But you see like it says in Ether 12, The Lord will take our weakness and He will build them up to make them strong (Ether 12:27). So when I get home, be ready for a super flabby, nerdy kid, because I wont have time to work on my social skills and physical strength because I will be fixing my personality flaws and stupidity the entire time!!! hahahahaha

I hope you have enjoyed this segment of the Wheeler Show, tune in next week to here Elder Wheeler say... "I never kissed a rooster and I am not too good at Ping Pong!!!"

Love unfeigned,
Elder Wheeler

P.s. I will finish the story from before because I know that you are all "dying" to know what the blood trail was from...Oh snap I just made a PUN....hahaha 

Anyway we came back a few days later and the trail and smell were even stronger. We went hunting for the source of the smell and blood. As we looked we found the culprit and he wasn't going to give up without a fight. His name was Thomas the Turkey. He was once a great exotic bird, but now was a maggot infested pile of bones. Elder Leavitt suited up and tried to perform revival treatment, but alas he was too far gone for saving. We pulled on his leg and it seemed that it had no desire to be part of Thomas' body anymore, because it just detached itself from the hip joint. As we used the most high-tech equipment known to this side of the multi-verse...a large black trash bag and target shopping bags...we removed him from his place of expiration and placed him in his new coffin...it was about 5 feet tall, 18 inches square, had two wheels and was green with a black lid. We said a prayer and hoped he would enjoy Fowl-atory, because any good turkey would bleed on the grass not the sidewalk, and we said our goodbyes. He never had a chance to make it into birdie heaven with 7 strokes over par...Okay I will stop with the Puns right after I tell this last punny joke...oops there I go again...Sorry!!! 

P.p.s Mom Typos!!! Love YA!!! 

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