Letter from Kelson - Week # 42 - Baptist at our Fast and Testimony Meeting!!!
Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!!
Why howdy doody everybody!! It is so nice to be able to see your bright smiley faces after not seeing them for soooooooooo long. Why do you have a puzzled look on your face? Don't you see me watching you? Can't you see me? Well, maybe there is a bad connection on your side because I can see you all just fine. ...Oh, hey! Stephanie your nose is running...and Lily you should be nice to Stephanie, she might return the favor in 20 years or so.
You're still puzzled; well that is your fault. You should check your internet connection and then call the operator. They can help you see me.
I don't know if any of you have been able to read my subject for this e-mail, but I can tell you that I love all people no matter what religion they are. With that being said, this past week was AWESOME!!!! We had all sorts of fun and excitement in teaching lessons and what not. Let's start at Monday; nothing really happened...Wow, what a boring day, now on to Tuesday. We had a Zone Training Meeting where the Zone Leaders taught us things about obedience and I had much harrowing up of sins within me...For all those who have not read from the Book of Mormon and do not get the lingo, I realized how much of a dirty, rotten, no good missionary I was and how much I need to change. I learned that I am still a good missionary, but I need to refine my ways of being a missionary and by doing so I have been promised more success. Then we left that meeting and have I got a story for you...
I was riding on my bike one day when all of the sudden I received this glorious idea, I don't know if it was divine or not, but this idea rang and rang within my inner cerebral cortex and started to knock itself against the back side of my eyeballs. This idea became so loud and appealing that I gave in to the idea and I tried out this fantastic suggestion of supreme intellect and knowledge. I took my bicycle, and with the speed of a wombat and the reflexes of an ostrich that has just been pounced on by the King of the Savannah, the lion, and I tried to jump this curb that was somewhere between the height of 20 feet tall and 2 inches tall. Anyway, I know what you are all thinking at this very moment... You are face palming your head and wondering if Elder Wheeler has any brains in his noggin, because he seems to be hurting himself all the day long and doesn't seem to stop...Well before you do anything, please continue reading. So I jumped this curb with all the might that a missionary can muster...That is a lot of might if you ask me, and it seems that when the curb is slanted around a 30 degree angle...So the top is parallel to the ground and the slant is going east to west (sideways) that the tire on the bike doesn't want to come up on the curb, but it wants to just slide like Socks on a tile floor. My tire slid, and as it slid I heard this gihugant (means really big) screech and then my bike stopped moving, however, Elder Wheeler did not stop moving. As He was thrown from the bike the only thing going through his head was, "I can fly!!!" and then he hit the ground. Thank goodness someone put a patch of grass in the way, otherwise, I would have had to buy a brand new rain coat. I landed in the grass and then quickly got up and began to try and ride my bike again...Then to my astonishment...I had a head wound that was bleeding profusely and I died. The end...Just Kidding. I tried to get on my bike and the back rim was crushed "like an empty beer can" (Movie quote see if you can remember the movie) My head is absolutely fine, I was wearing my brain bucket. After all of this my bike became a huge paper weight. Don't worry about me getting around, there were some really nice members who have been helping me also with holes in my pants, who lent me a bike until my other one gets here on Thursday from my last area. (Elder Outlaw gave me his bike before he left, yay for two bikes) I am absolutely fine, no need to call the mission president, for he already knows, and no need to pray that I actually injure myself so I will learn. It seems I don't learn even when I injure myself. I should just be put in a bubble and be locked in a room, but even then I would find some way to hurt myself. Most people are worried and pray that the ghettos, and the gangsters and the people who use guns and other weapons for evil purposes, stay away from their missionaries, my parents are praying that their son stays away from himself. hehe
You are all probably wondering about my subject to this letter and I must tell you that I came up with this title after mimicking a movie titled "Baptist at our Barbecue" (Great movie, you should watch it). Yesterday was Fast and Testimony Sunday, due to stake conference the week before.
Sorry the rest of the week was not real interesting, but Sunday is when it gets good
Ok now where was I, Oh yeah, We had Fast and Testimony meeting on Sunday and for those people unfamiliar with this term it is where the whole meeting on Sunday is left open for members of the congregation to get up and to share any experiences they have had in the past that have built their faith in Christ. This is done so that we have the opportunity to share what we know and have learned and in turn we can help others learn and strengthen their faith. Anywho, we had this meeting and we had a less-active member come to church for the first time in like 20 years with his wife. He has been on hiatus for this long because he felt his calling was to preach to the black community, and if you look at our congregations...they seem a little white. Not saying that we don't have people of other races in our congregation but we don't have near as many as people of the Caucasian race. Anyway they came to church this Sunday, Oh and did I mention they are both preachers for their church? They both went up to speak on this most special Sunday of the month. The member went up to the pulpit because I think he remembered that that is how we do it, and his wife just started talking to everyone and stood on the floor in front of the pulpit. She acknowledged the bishopric and the member of the high council because she figured they were the preachers of our church and then she began to preach. The surprising thing is that she just stood up there and praised the Church for sending out missionaries to go forth and do God's work. And because we, as missionaries, offer free service, it touched her in a way that she felt impressed to thank the whole congregation for showing her how to be a true disciple of Christ. She praised Elder Nethercott and I, and she brought to everyone's attention that she calls me "Tom Cruise." It seems that I have a strange resemblance to the action star of "Top Gun". After she had made known how much she really loved the Church and all that we do, she then ask permission to sing a song for the congregation, since she is accustomed to singing in her church songs of praise. The Bishop didn't see any problem with it and she then sang a beautiful rendition of "Amazing Grace" We had people crying and this was the first time I have heard clapping in an LDS Church service... We then continued to have Fast and Testimony meeting and afterward everyone wanted to shake the sister's hand and thank her for her words and song. The ward handled the difference in meetings quite well. Later that night she called us and apologized for her actions at church, but I told her that we needed her words and that she should not apologize for testifying of Christ. She said she would read the Book of Mormon and we are stoked to maybe keep teaching her. Now for those members reading this, I am not suggesting that you change the way you look at Fast and Testimony Meeting, but I am saying that when something like this happens just remember to not judge and look at them as a Child of God praising the way they know how. The sign outside the building says "Visitors Welcome" which means all people and everyone. Church was awesome and so are all of you for the many prayers you have said in behalf of the people of California. I hope that you keep praying, and if you are not praying I pose this Question...Why? Prayer is our way to communicate with the Father and he hears all prayers. As we build a relationship with him we will see the blessings be poured out upon us. I would exhort you to start praying if you aren't, keep praying if you are, and if you have fallen a bit behind, catch up. I want all of you to understand and know how much God Loves you. I can tell you for him, but there is something about feeling the Holy Ghost testify to you that God loves you that is beyond what any mortal words can convey. I love you all and wish the very best for you.
p.s. MOM!!!!!!!!!! You know what to do!!! Mother-Mon I choose you!!! Mother-Mon use typo swish!!! ...It is Super Effective!!!!