Letter from Kelson - Week # 29 - Missionary Work has it's UPs and for me a lot of Downs...hehe

Good Morning From Sunny California!!!!! 

I bet every single one of you have now read my e-mail heading and have thought to yourself...."HOLY CRAP!!! KELSON IS GOING THROUGH THE WORST PART OF HIS MISSION RIGHT NOW!!!", I am pretty positive that those are your words exactly because you just read them...hehe I just pulled the wool over your eyes...Man I am good!   By now I am pretty sure a lot of my readers are also looking at the e-mail with this sort of look... Don't worry, the head scratching will soon pass as your brain runs out of your ears jumps through cyber space and punches me right in the Chicken Salad sandwich for making it work so hard for such a stupid comment.

I think now that your brains have all been sufficiently liquefied I can start the e-mail about how this past week has been. 

First off, I think everyone should know that I have the best Companion ever!!! We are like best friends. It is almost like we are the same person, we both enjoy having fun, we both enjoy missionary work, we teach magnificently together, and we both bought matching shoes, tie, and backpacks...for those who have thoughts of "Oh no! Kelson has gone GAY!!!" Go outside and punch yourself really hard in the noggin (outside, so the carpet doesn't get dirty from the brain matter). We just thought it would build our Unity, which is super big in missionary work.  It is quite refreshing to have a companion who I can rely on to say exactly what I am thinking and to have someone that also understands what our investigators need. It makes this job much easier. I have had moments with my other companions like the before mentioned statement, but not all the time. 

I also have been learning a whole lot through my personal study and Language study. I can begin and end a prayer in Russian and I also know how to ask our Father in Heaven for the blessing of a Pen...Not that I would need one, but the language is coming!!! I can read Russian, but it is understanding what I am reading that makes this whole thing difficult. In my personal study I have learned that by accepting people of other races/backgrounds/nationalities/anything else people discriminate against and treat them like equals we can become more unified as God's people, like in a very Zion society, but we have a long way to go if you know what I mean...

For everyone to know I am very displeased with the election and the winner of said election; as a citizen I will remain subject to the laws, but that doesn't mean I have to like the guy or the laws he put there for me to follow. 

I will explain the goods about this week and then I will give the explanation for the subject of this letter. We have been teaching the McDermot's for quite some time and I am pleased to announce that the 17 year old has a huge desire to be baptized on Saturday the 24th of November. He kept pestering me about it so I thought I would let him get baptized. We are hoping and praying that his parents join him on that day and make it family affair. Also, we are teaching this new guy named Michael and he is super prepared and has accepted the date for baptism on the 1st of December. These great successes are really giving me a great lead into "White Christmas"... Which is what we call the time around Christmas where miracle baptisms come from everywhere as presents to Christ as we celebrate His birth. The work is going super well and the prayers you are giving are helping tremendously.

The Downs for this week actually happened earlier this morning...I went Mountain Biking with a member and we went on what he called "an easy trail" which to me, the person who has never gone real mountain biking before would seem like a piece of cake. Well it kind of was...hehe  But there was this one part I have to tell you about. We were all riding on this hill, and the path was super narrow, like the width of a needle. I was rocking this trail; I was balancing like a boss and I could see everything that would happen and my bike was like an extra extension of my body. Yeah I am that Good. We were heading down this hill, rocks on the path making me jump 10 feet in the air causing my hair to blow in the up breeze, dodging stumps that could cause bodily harm and so forth. At the bottom of this hill there was a bridge and under this bridge was a Troll. He was huge like 700 feet tall and he was covered in chainsaws!!! This guy wasn't playing around. For everyone's information this troll had magical powers that made him a master of the elements and he used them against us because we didn't want to pay the Troll Toll. As we dodged his many attacks and then returned fire with our laser guns (Mounted on our bikes of course) we crossed the bridge. This Troll was out for blood, however, and he caused a great and mighty tree to jump in front of yours truly and I became one person with the tree. I wrapped my arms around the tree and gave him a big hug, because as missionaries we won't even hurt trees. As I hugged the tree he decided that he didn't like that and he smashed in the reflector on my bike and destroyed the cable for my front brake. He wasn't a very nice tree. I let go of the tree and told the Troll that he would have better luck with someone less awesome than us and rode on to victory.  As I continued to ride though, I guess the troll might have hit me with a spell of some kind, because I couldn't seem to stay on the bike for very long following the hugging of the tree. I got over it and became better, but I just kept going "Down." Like all good stories it ends with Elder Wheeler being only slightly injured with a bit of a blood trail and great memories. Gosh I love this work.

I was protected so no worries, every bone in my body is still useful and I will not be coming home in a cast or anything. Actually, I felt like George of the Jungle there for a second. From this experience I have learned that the Lord gives us strength beyond our knowledge to accomplish anything that stands in our path. Take heed of the Trolls in your way and make sure to just avoid them at all costs. They might throw a curve "tree" in your way and you may get hurt a little bit, but after some serious rest and strengthening of our spirits we can overcome those and be ready for an even bigger Troll...hehe  GOSPEL OBJECT LESSON!!!

I love everything that I get to do and can't wait for tomorrow's adventures!!

Elder Wheeler

P.s. Thanks mom for all you do to make these e-mails literate! if you wouldn't mind please look over this one...TYPOS!!!